It’s Not the Gun, it’s the Video Game

Another year, another sniper…sort of. Apparently there is someone in Columbus, Ohio (hi Lisa) shooting people on or near a stretch of I-270. One or more people are deliberately targeting drivers, but Martin (some cop dude) refuses to use the word “sniper.” Well no shit he refused to use the word sniper. The motherfucker has only hit one person. If you’re trying to be a sniper maybe you should go back to school. Perhaps the shooter needs to go and find a farm somewhere and try and hit the broad side of the barn, and if they can’t, then maybe try crocheting or something. Another reason to not call them a sniper is because this whole thing apparently started in May. That means it has been going on for almost seven months already. This person isn’t even averaging two shots a month; or perhaps they are shooting a lot but they’ve only hit eleven objects thus far. As long as you are that pathetic of a want to be sniper, why don’t you do us all a favor and turn that sunofabitch around, look into the barrel and pull the trigger. Shit, you probably wouldn’t hit anything that way either. What a disgrace to snipers everywhere.

My good friends over at the Lewis Center Wal Mart have weighed in on this also. Read on…

COLUMBUS, Ohio — A suburban Columbus Wal-Mart store pulled the video game “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City” from its shelves while authorities investigate a series of 12 shootings on an interstate highway.

Manager John Nuckolls said the store in Lewis Center decided Monday to stop selling the game, which simulates carjackings and shootings.

Nuckolls said he didn’t know if other stores have followed suit. He said he hadn’t heard of any customers complaining about the game, but felt it was the right thing to do.

Well, well, well. That must be the problem right there. Someone bought Grand Theft Auto and thought it would be really cool to go and do it. The only problem is who the fuck has been carjacked here? Someone is shooting apparently from somewhere off of the highway. Is that a part of this game? I don’t think so. Why did this game get picked off anyway? If you go to Wal Marts website and go into their games sections, under Fighters & Shooters there are 85 games listed for the PS2; 72 for the X-Box; 35 for the Gamecube; 16 for the Gameboy Advance; 53 for the PC; and 17 for the PS1. Did Nuckolls pull all these games off the shelf? Of course not.

Another question for Nuckolls. Did you stop selling the guns? I know the video games might get someone interested in going out and shooting a bunch of people, but in order to do it, they need a fucking gun first. Now when they go to your store they can’t buy their favorite video game, but hot damn, they can get a gun. Isn’t that fucked up? If you think so, then go ahead and ask him @ (740) 657-1341