Month: February 2006

Time flies when you’re not having fun doesn’t it? February is over tonight already and it seems like it just started. I like how everyone says it’s because the month is so short but it’s only short by 2 or 3 days… depending on what month you’re comparing it to. I think if people have such a problem then maybe we should take two of these 31 day months and steal a day from each and make February a 30 day month and then maybe, just maybe people will quit their bitching. Yeah, and I’ll be winning the lottery soon too.

I’ve been super busy doing all kinds of things, I almost feel like I have ADD with a side of laziness because I seem to want to start all sorts of projects but I never get into them. Aside from all my webpage things I’m also desperately seeking a new job and I’m also looking into other options for my life, like places to live and internet services. Let’s just say it’s been hectic. Maybe that’s why I don’t type really long blogs anymore? Perhaps starting next month my head will finally get screwed on straight and I’ll be able to get everything back in order and become a productive member of society again.

Close to 2 years ago I mentioned in here about my shitty GSM service I was getting from Cellular One in Wisconsin. Surprisingly around Christmas last year a new tower was put up and the reception has improved tremendously. This was a deciding factor in where I was going to go for cell service when my contract was up. I’ve always preferred the packages that Cell One offered me but when I went to GSM the reception was so horrible in some parts that digital was great in, I was greatly disappointed. It shouldn’t have taken two years to put up a tower but now that it’s up I still have my plan and I also have reception to boot. I know if reception hadn’t been improved, I would have gone to another provider, which means Alltel because there really isn’t much of anything up here in bumfuck northern Wisconsin. I’m sure if I was in Milwaukee, I could probably have my choice of providers like Cingular or Sprint but up here it’s like which one do you want, this one or the other one? There are of course multiple locations that offer Cell One and multiple locations that offer Alltel although I’m pretty sure they are all connected, I guess we just have multiple locations to lead us into the illusion that we have many options.

Anyway, I think I was telling a story here. New cell phone contract equals new cell phone of course. I usually always go with the free phone because I’m a cheap bastard, but this time I paid $80 more and got a Nokia flip phone with a camera built in… a camera I might add I’ll probably never use unless I accidentally find myself in the women’s locker room at my local gym. I do like the phone which is of course the reason I picked it out although I’m having the same problem I had before, finding a ring I can live with. I like my phone to ring, not sing as I probably mentioned last time I got a new phone. This little fucker doesn’t have a normal ring anywhere that I can find on it, all it has is a shitload of shitty musical numbers, one of which I’ll have to pick and live with because as I mentioned before; I’m a cheap bastard. $1.99 for a ring tone, think again.

I’m not too big into going to fast food places very much; in fact for the most part I try to avoid any food that gets handed to me through a window of the building. I do however like Quiznos and Subway occasionally. I went to Quiznos earlier this week and when I bought my sub they gave me a game card. I thought yeah whatever, I don’t win shit anyway so I took it home. Well, when I looked at it I realized that the prize I could win was a Quiznos franchise. Wow, wouldn’t that be exciting? Congratulations, you’ve just won a lifetime servitude to the food industry… good luck fucker.

Luckily when I looked at the odds and all of that shit I saw that I had the option of taking $157,500 instead of that. That’s good to know, because I really wouldn’t consider a franchise to be a prize, more like a curse. I don’t even know if you win the restaurant or just the rights to use the name to it. It says you win a franchise so you’d probably still have to get a building and most likely the equipment and then you’d have to hire people which isn’t easy because people for the most part are worthless lazy fuckers. Some prize… I say show me the money instead.

Two years ago I mentioned on my site about Barbie dumping her man Ken. I know I wasn’t the one to break the bad news to the world but I still reported it dammit. Anyway, Ken has now decided that he wants to win Barbie back from whatever guy she’s bumping plastic uglies with these days. Mattel has revamped Ken’s whole look (although it looks like those Queer Eye for the Straight Guy dudes got a hold of him). I wonder what Ken’s real intentions are here, because I highly doubt that he loves Barbie. I’m sure the true fantasy romantics out there may think that but I know he just misses all of the cool shit that Barbie has to play with. I think that since he was booted out of the Barbie Playhouse he’s been stuck living in a cardboard box somewhere in a warehouse. Well, maybe if Barbie doesn’t take him back, he can get with Barbie’s new guy friend.

Mattel’s fourth-quarter results January showed an 18 percent decline in Barbie’s U.S. sales. The company said that in addition to “tweaking” the Barbie line this year, more dramatic changes would be made in 2007. Hmm, wonder what “more tweaking” would mean? I know, Barbie’s gonna go lez in 2007 and open a whole new door. There’ll be new carpet munching Barbie and Ken will be booted once again for Barbie’s new lesbian lover Sherry. Hopefully Ken can get him some Barbie action soon, because I think after this year the only box Ken will be coming in will be his own.

Is it just me or is it inevitable that the stupid groundhog is going to see his shadow every year? Do you know why he sees his shadow every year? It’s a goddamn conspiracy from the people that make winter clothing. Winter is such a short season in some parts of the country that they now have to scare you with groundhog voodoo to make you buy their stuff. Hey, it’s not only them that are in this scheme. Other parties involved are the ones selling you vacations to warm spots like those con artists at Disney. Come to think of it, you really can’t trust Hawaii much either. I was reading online about Groundhog Day and it says that Punxsutawney Phil has been making predictions every February 2 since 1886. That tells me one of two things… either groundhogs live a hell of a lot longer than I thought they would or much like your child’s goldfish, he’s been replaced a few times.

The thing that really bothers me about this whole Punxsutawney Phil thing isn’t that the little fucker hasn’t predicted an early spring for 7 years now, but that he has groupies. This story I was reading mentions all the people that come to see him and they even interviewed a woman who had been waiting outside for him since 2 in the morning. Oh, that would be the fucking day I would get up that early in the morning to catch a glimpse of a rodent; especially a fat rodent that is going to stick its head out of a hole and then go right back in. If I wanted to see that I could just go down to the hospital and watch some of the loser teenagers give birth. Oh look, your baby saw its shadow, six more weeks of welfare.

At any rate, six more weeks of winter is fine by me; especially if they are six more weeks of winter like we’ve been having. We got about three inches of snow Tuesday night and the shit’s gone already. I think my best bet would be to win the lottery and then live in Arizona in the winter and up here in the summer… well actually probably in Rapid City in the summer.