Ok, maybe the food itself doesn’t piss me off, but the stupid ass commercials do. Sometimes they are catchy tunes that stick in your head and even though you don’t want the damn food, you can’t help but sing the song. Case in point; that stupid Billy Bass reject filet o fish song from McDonald’s. That’s right, I know that song and sometimes when the voices in my head stop talking, I hear it. I tell you though; the commercials that really irritate me are the Pizza Hut ones. They started this bullshit campaign when they started introducing their new pastas. All of the sudden it’s like,”we told this room full of people that they were eating some decent food, little do they know that this shit came from Pizza Hut”
I can see that when you’re introducing a new line of shit, so I’ll almost let them slide, but seriously, what the hell is up with the stuffed crust commercial? They give these dumbasses a stuffed crust pizza and then the friend says, oh the pizza guy made a mistake and wants the pizza back and they go batshit (well the Kenny Loggins looking motherfucker does anyway) and won’t give it back. Let me say this. I like pizza, maybe even love it, but what is so great about stuffed crust pizza anyway? Hey, you know that shit that’s all over the top of your pizza, well we put some in the crust too because we want you to have a heart attack tonight. Second, even if the pizza guy fucks up, do you think he’s going to come back and tell you and ask for your half chewed up pizza back? Shit no, he’s going to go to the next house and give them the wrong shit too because that’s what people do when they work with the public. Everyone gets pizza, the people that got fucked up orders get some coupons for free shit and the world spins another day.
Who the hell took over Pizza Hut’s ad campaigns for this shit, Ashton Kutcher? Do I eat some Tuscani pasta and then Ashton runs out and goes… you just got Punk’d, that shit was from Pizza Hut. Up yours grandma fucker.
What else is pissing me off? How about Facebook. You can put any stupid social networking site in place of that name, it really doesn’t matter. I bitched about MySpace before back when I set up an account because I thought it was stupid, which I still do. However, when it comes down to Facebook vs. MySpace, there is no comparison in the annoyance factor there. Do you know how much I am pestered by people on MySpace? Never. Sure there is the oddball friend request here and there mostly from bands you never heard of, but fuck it, it’s just MySpace and who really gives a shit. All I need to do is press a button and you’re approved or denied.
Facebook on the other hand lets people “suggest” to me people they think I should be friends with. I get notifications all the time saying… Jeff Dahmer is friends with Charles Manson and thinks you know Charles and has suggested you two be friends. Well fuck that shit; I don’t need anyone telling me who they think I should be friends with. I’m a motherfucking disgruntled human in case anyone has forgotten and I get sick of that shit. Look, if Charles can’t add me as a friend himself then fuck him and all of his stupid ass requests that I can avoid if I don’t put his sorry ass on my list. What the fuck is that about anyway? People want to put me on their birthday calendars and stupid shit like that. Look, if you don’t know my birthday already, then what the fuck are you on my friends list for in the first place. Fuck you with the lower case f from the Facebook logo.
I have to get out of here now, my gourmet pizza is here… oh shit, it’s from the Hut.