Don’t Call it a Comeback…

…I’ve been here for years.

Stop the presses, two days in a row – holy shit. I am sitting in my house after 7pm with the windows open and it’s still March. Did I mention that I’m in Wisconsin? I did fail to mention that I went and had allergy testing done and I have major allergies. What am I allergic to you ask; pretty much anything outside of the house and some things inside the house as well. I have super allergies to grass and trees which makes me think I should concrete the yard this summer. Gotta love those allergies, that’s for sure. So I’m playing around with a concoction of Singulair and XYZAL, which shouldn’t even be a word should it? It looks like you finished the alphabet off and started over then said fuck it, just throw an L in there. I don’t know if the shit is even working because I got a cold, which funny thing, happens to be a side effect of the allergy medicine. Isn’t that a bitch? Hey, your allergies have let up, well let up enough for this cold to take over. But look on the bright side, now your snot is yellowish green again. Awesome, that was worth being poked by a needle 80 times.

You know, usually the weather is pissing me off, but now the Weather Channel is pissing me off. They just changed my local forecast thing again, and this time it talks to me. I thought it was bad when they played that shitty elevator music in the background, but now I get to hear some guy talk weather to me. Hey dickhead, I can read, zip it. Another thing, the weather channel plays a movie on Friday nights now? When did this shit start? It’s a weather related movie, but honestly, how many of those can there be out there. You can only play Twister so many times before people catch on that you don’t have much of a movie catalog. Soon they will play a movie and say, oh, it snowed in the movie, that’s weather related so therefore it’s relevant. It’s not, you’re the Weather Channel and that means you give me the boring ass weather, that’s what I turn the channel on for, not for a movie. Maybe the Food Network should have movies like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory… shit, now they probably will.

Some days I really need something new to bitch about. Every once in a while I get this feeling like I miss working retail. Of course a quick trip to my local grocery store squashes that empty feeling right away. Nothing feels better than walking into a store and seeing some annoying customer pissing and moaning about something and knowing that you truly don’t give a shit about their problems and you’re not going to do anything to help them… just like when I used to work at the store.

Bring on the Warmth

First off I must apologize for missing an entire month of blogging (aka… one blog entry). In my defense I had received a kick ass Earthquake machine for Christmas and I had been playing with it quite a bit. Unfortunately it has since been confiscated by the government which means no more fun for me… back to recklessly driving my Toyota I guess.

Speaking of Toyota, what the hell is NASA sticking their noses into this for? Are we stupid here or what? Hey Toyota and US Government, let me explain something to you. The problem is that these cars are speeding out of control. Do you really want to have NASA, you know the people that make a space shuttle that goes 17,500mph, working on your out of control cars? I think not, this is a car problem. If you want a government program that will slow shit down to a snail’s pace, try Congress. Although this would be fun for the Toyota engineers working with NASA; anytime someone from NASA comes up with a theory they could just say… yeah whatever, what are you a rocket scientist?

I think it’s finally here, even a little bit early. That’s right, the mid 70’s are coming this week and I couldn’t be happier. I know what you’re thinking; now he’s just going to start bitching about it being too warm out. No. Although I’m not looking forward to the sweltering heat of the summer combined with a ton of humidity, I am looking forward to being able to go outside with short sleeves on and not end up in the hypothermia ward at my local hospital. I’m hoping to be able to get out and do some shit this year. I want to golf for sure and possibly go camping this summer. Last year I got so wrapped up in this house bullshit that I totally missed my summer. Now that the remodel is completed I can hopefully relax this summer and do some fun stuff. That reminds me, I need to put some pictures up someday.

What else is on my agenda? Oh yeah, I want to learn how to play the acoustic guitar. I have one now and am trying some self taught techniques and if I feel like I’m getting the swing of things I will probably take some lessons in the future. I have wanted to learn for many years, but I always put it off thinking I would do it in the future. I guess I’m coming to the realization that I’m not getting any younger; what do I look like, Benjamin Button? Either that or I’m having a mid life crisis, which would totally suck ass if I only get a guitar out of my mid life crisis and not a hot convertible and a hotter 19 year old woman. That is what you would call a raw deal any way you slice it.