Month: December 2007

Do you know what sucks worse than watching some poorly written piece of shit drama or comedy show on network television? Watching some poorly written piece of shit drama and or comedy RERUN on network television. Do you know is even worse than that; watching the bullshit that is filling the void more and more every day… reality television. When I mention the void, I’m talking about the ever expanding space in between our ears where our brains used to be. Someone needs to tell these people that produce television that not everything that someone does deserves its own show. I’ve been watching a little more television this year than in years past and every time a commercial comes on I see an ad for another reality show.

Do we really need another tattoo show on the air? I thought there was two at first, then the one show branched from Miami to LA, and now there is supposed to be one from England. Who cares if people in England get tattoos, let me know when they learn to brush and floss properly then maybe I’ll end up giving a shit. If you really care that much about tattoos then maybe you should stop being such a pussy and just go get one.

Another show I’m seeing advertised is some show called John & Kate plus 8. Apparently having an overactive uterus and a husband who can’t pull out can get you your own show. Since when is having eight kids some sort of feat worthy of television. Back in the old days most families had that many kids and you didn’t see them on TV did you. I think they should rename that show “John & Kate; too Bad They Didn’t Just Masturbate.”

Speaking of people that should pull it out only in the privacy of their own homes and nowhere else; that brings me to a whole slew of shows that are considered dating programs. Now I use that term loosely, even more loosely than the participants of the aforementioned shows. Attention everyone, you will never find love on a television program, it’s just not going to happen. Do you really think that doing crazy stunts is going to win over some skank? I would think you should already know that answer from high school. Oh that’s right, the majority of people on those shows probably didn’t make it that far in their educational pursuits. McDonalds was a calling and they were answering. Don’t even get me started on Tila Tequila, although I’m guessing that somewhere in that package… there is a dead worm.

Now I see that there is going to be a show on called parking wars. It follows around traffic officers and watches them give tickets. Wow, I can’t wait until that show debuts, then I can watch the awesome job of a fucking meter maid writing tickets. I need to get my TiVo set and ready because that is must see TV right there. I guess this is the show you watch if you just can’t handle the grittiness of cops but would like to keep an eye on the police.

I have also heard there will be a show where someone gets strapped to a lie detector machine and is asked all kinds of hard questions. You know, that show could actually be worth a watch… if we used it on the government. Put that fucker on C-Span and I’d even tune in.

I just get so sick of these fake reality shows. It’s all entertainment and I wish they would just say that. There’s no reality in these shows, it can’t be because people see a camera and they act up. Everyone wants their 15 minutes in the spotlight and figure this is the easiest way to go. The only way it could be “reality TV” is if they used fake cameras. Like I said before, if you want reality, watch Fox News… um, maybe CNN, no…

Shit, I no longer know what is and isn’t real anymore…

I decided that since I got myself a nice bonus from work this year, that I would be extra generous and therefore I bought a nice 80GB I-Pod Classic for someone very special… ME.
I’m just curious what is up with people asking me “what is on your I-Pod?” Well, nothing that you’re going to find out about without a subpoena. What are you people so damn nosy for anyway? It’s really none of your business to know what is on my I-Pod… it’s probably something like porn and music just like on my computer. It’s like Capital One; they always want to know what’s in my wallet. Every time I see the commercial, they are asking me, what’s in your Wallet? You know what’s in my wallet Capital One? Five dollars, three condoms and a naked picture of your mother… That’s right, now go bug someone else.

Speaking of the I-Pod, it is pretty sweet and I’m kind of shocked it took me this long to get into the game. I’ve been an mp3 freak for almost 7 years now, so what took me so long. Shit, if you told me 15 years ago that I’d be listening to all of my CD’s on something about the size of the cassette tape that I used to listen to and I’d have album art and all that crazy shit, I would have probably called you a retard and told you to go back to your plans of flying cars. Shit, I was just starting to listen to music on the CD back then.

I can’t believe that Christmas is almost here already. Of course I’m off work until the day after Christmas so I am believing that. I worked a whopping two days this week and took my remaining vacation for the rest of the week, don’t work weekends and Monday and Tuesday are paid holidays. Can’t beat that can you?

I’m also done with school now. I am going to sign up for two classes next semester and then take the summer off again. Once I get my final grades then I can get my money paid back to me, then I get to apply that money to my new classes. It’s like a never ending cycle… almost like me doing a blog once every month.