There’s a problem in this country people, a very serious problem. I’m not talking about unemployment or the housing market or your herpes. I’m talking about people talking during a movie. Now I’m not talking here about some jackoff talking to his girlfriend all through a movie or someone yelling at the characters in the movie because they apparently think this is a fucking interactive theater. In fact I’m not even talking about a theater, even though this will apply. I’m talking about when you’re at home and you buy or rent a DVD (or Blu-Ray for you fuckers that prefer a crisp movie over feeding your children). You go out and get yourself the movie and then you think, hey I’ll be nice and I’ll take this over to a friend’s house and watch this because that’ll be fun won’t it?
Well what you find out when you start watching the movie is that your friend suddenly becomes a self professed movie and television buff and proceeds to tell you who all the actors are and what other things they have starred in. First they’ll just rattle off a character name from some TV show I’ve never seen or if they don’t know they’ll just name off the name of the fucking show or movie and let me know they were in there. Well that’s just great; I guess if they’re good in this, I’ll have to check out that other movie you were talking about Ebert.
Then after they tell you the character name or movie name it’ll be a few minutes and then they realize the actual actors name and you get to hear that too. What the fuck, is there going to be a test after the movie or some shit? Shut the fuck up and watch the goddamn movie. If I wanted explanations I would have turned on the closed captioning asshole. Can you fill me in on what Batman had for breakfast while you’re at it?
What’s real fun is when your friend doesn’t know where they’ve seen this person before, they just know they have. Well, I know I’ve seen them before… Well no shit, that’s because they’re fucking actors, this is their job and they don’t just work one movie and hang it up. Now don’t turn to me and ask me to help you on your half assed Trivial Fucking Pursuit like movie watching ability.
Fuck, now I have to go home and watch the movie alone like I should have in the first place so I can enjoy the thing and get my five dollar rental fee out of it.