Category: Uncategorized

Ah, the day after turning back the clocks. This is not only the day I can count on the sun going away earlier and making the day feel really short, but I can also count on anytime time is brought up for people to say… “old time or new time?” There is nothing better to hear than that, because you have to think about it for a second or two. I say, I woke up at 8 this morning… then they say, 8am new time or old time? Then I have to think about whether I turned that clock or not. Making me think on a Sunday morning is usually not a good idea. Then later I was at Kwik Trip and got to hear the cashier talking to a customer about the time change and she goes… we get an extra hour of sunlight tonight at least; and I’m thinking only if you turned your clock the wrong fucking way. I didn’t correct her because I don’t really give a shit, which I think should be obvious by now.

I went through my blog comments like I do every other week or so, what the hell is up with all the spam comments telling me how awesome the Microsoft Zune is. Do they even still make the Zune? If so, I was not aware. I don’t know who would spam blogs and shit anyway, like anyone comes here for advice on what to buy.

Today I decided to make a list of shit I want to do around the house. I didn’t realize that I had that many things I wanted to work on around here. I am going to be a busy sunofabitch for the next few weeks, or months depending on how quickly I can work. I should get to that list, but I think I will instead just relax and sit on my ass. Besides, it is almost 10pm, time to go to bed… is that new time or old time?

Ah Saturday, it’s the fun day, the first day of your two days off and the day you can truly enjoy. Sunday sucks because you know that Monday is right around the corner, but you can cherish a Saturday. However, this Saturday I spent putting insulation in my basement. I got up and showered in the morning, then washed some clothes and decided that I should do something productive today. I ended up putting insulation into my basement since there was none yet. There is nothing more fun than cutting 8” pieces of insulation and putting them up. By the time four hours was up and I was so damn itchy I had to go upstairs and take another shower. What the hell, two showers in one day? What am I; a coal miner, male prostitute, caramel factory employee? Seriously, what a way to wreck a Saturday, now if I was going on a date or something, then yeah, that might warrant a second shower… not that being covered in nasty, itchy carcinogenic fiberglass isn’t, just a pain in the ass.

Oh joy; tomorrow night we turn the clocks back an hour. I can’t wait for that to happen. Not only do I get one extra hour of sleep on a day I could sleep in if I wanted to, I get to lose my sunlight an extra hour early. Not to mention the bullshit tasks involved as well, changing all of those clocks. Aside from my cell phone and computers, everything else had to be done manually.

It’s Saturday and I’m sitting on my ass on my couch with my laptop and a friend’s laptop going at the same time. I’m researching and playing on mine and fixing the other. Well I look out the window and I see my older neighbor outside in her bath robe raking leaves. Ok, it is 9am, why the hell are you outside in a robe raking? I don’t want to see that. Put some clothes on. This is the same neighbor that wears bikinis while mowing the lawn. Do you not realize that I have windows and don’t want to see that shit? It’s like a bad accident, you see it and it’s bad, but you still look in disbelief. This ranks up there with the old men that are outside without shirts and their moobs are hanging out. Seriously, don’t you fuckers own mirrors? I keep my ass covered because I know people don’t want to see this shit. Maybe I’m just too curious. Maybe I’ll go get my mail in some speedos this afternoon, but that would involve me going and buying speedos, and I just don’t have that kind of time on my hands right now.

Today will involve finishing fixing this computer, going to Menards to buy some more shit I probably don’t need and begin the basement cleaning. I swear my basement is about three boxes away from looking like it belongs on that show Hoarders. Speaking of that show, I love it. Anytime I feel shitty about my house cleaning abilities, I just turn on an episode of Hoarders and think to myself… at least I don’t find cat carcasses when I am cleaning. Fuckin’ sweet.

I am patiently awaiting winter, and trying to make time slow down because 40 is approaching faster than ever. 37 this month already, holy shit; I swear I was just slacking off like hell at high school not too long ago, but now my 20 year reunion is coming up next year. I’m about due for my midlife crisis anytime now. I’ll have to roll the dice pretty soon on that one, c’mon convertible and slutty girl… ah shit, I got Rogaine and Prozac.

I needed something else to do, as you can tell I’m extremely bored and all. A couple weekends ago my cousin was at a garage sale and there was a pool table for free with all accessories. Obviously it isn’t a top of the line pool table, but it is a slate top. All pieces are now sitting in my basement awaiting my free time.

Have I mentioned I don’t have much of that anymore? So over the winter I figured I would want something to do and this fit the bill. I now have a table to assemble, not to mention rehab. I forgot to mention that part didn’t I? The base and legs are very stable, but the decorative boards that go around it aren’t the best of shape, so I will probably buy new boards for that. Like I said, it’s going to be a winter project. I’m thinking black table with red felt.

What else is going on? Oh yeah, we had a heavy frost already. Luckily I was done with my other projects so my garage was once again my garage and not my workshop. I refuse to have to scrape my damn windows if I own a garage dammit. That only means that snow is not far behind, and all I can say is bring it on.

Well, apparently I never learn. Here I busted my ass last year putting new flooring in all but two rooms of my house and redid the entire kitchen. Now almost a year later here I am again, embarking on more home improvement projects. This time I am changing out two old closets in my house for more modern looking, not to mention better functioning ones. The hall closet was a small one, with a tiny door at the bottom and a large door on top of that. There is no reason for that shit in 2010. My closet in my bedroom was also split, with low sliding doors at the bottom and then located inconveniently out of reach were two doors at the top. What was the point of that? Did people used to store linen up there or something? I totally gutted that and am reframing it and sheet rocking it so I can put a normal bi-fold door up. That way I will be able to look at my entire closet instead of just half of it. I was probably only dressing up in the clothes I could see, what a waste.

I still have other projects on my mind too, because I either like having no cash flow or don’t like sitting down very much. I think it’s about time some of those people with shows on HGTV show their asses up at my house and help me out.

Holy hell, I’ve lived in my new house for a whole year already. I guess that means it’s not a new house anymore. The fact that it was built in the early 60’s means it wasn’t new when I moved in either. Well dammit; it was new to me at the time.

Ripping the entire kitchen out and revamping it helped keep it fresh for me. Now I get a new roof in the next couple weeks. I already got my insurance check, just got to wait for the guy to bring me over some shingle samples and that will be done. I am going to change the color of the roof as long as I’m at it. I’m thinking of going with a brown color instead of the grey that is up there now. I guess we’ll see when I finally see samples and make up my mind. Of course, once that is done I want to paint all of the trim, so there goes my fun time.

What else is going on? I know; the weather. What the hell is up with this lately? First we are hotter than I remember, and we are getting more severe weather than ever; then it turns cold and we are having lows in the lower 50’s… make up your damn mind weather.

We had our second round of severe weather Tuesday night this week. We didn’t have the hailstorm but did get some serious tree snapping leaf destroying winds. All of that shit is fine and dandy and nothing of mine got destroyed this time around, however it did leave a mess of the roads again.

Luckily, my city cleaned my streets. Unfortunately, they cleaned my street at 1:30 in the fucking morning. Why would you clean the streets at that time of the morning? If it was just the little truck with the spinning brushes on it, it would have been one thing. No… they had out the big ass vacuum truck out working on my streets. I believe they made about 4 passes by my house, and then proceeded to back up several times to get the side streets. So, add on top of the noise of a huge ass vacuum the noise of a backup beeper loud enough to be heard over the vacuum… Yeah, I was up for a few hours this morning. There is nothing more I like that being woke up thinking a jet is crashing in front of the house.

Now I need to get my ass to bed and hope I can get some sleep tonight. I hope they don’t clean the streets again.

This is in no way a full blog entry. This is more like a preview of what is to come. We had a hell of a major hail storm here last Tuesday. I wll try and throw some pictures on the site soon. I’m getting a new roof out of the deal.

I have been ignoring the blog again, but this time with good reasoning. I have been very busy trying to mow the grass I have and get the new grass to grow where there is just dirt. The good news is that the first round of new grass has started growing. I got some of that green stringy stuff to put over the new grass and it seemed to work wonders for helping it grow.

Today I was outside raking my dry dirt part of my yard so I could plant the new seed and I turn around and there is a big ass black bear running down the sidewalk. I haven’t run since I was forced to in high school, but I made it inside my house in record time. This was no baby cub bear; this was a big ass frightened black bear. I’ll stare down a Chihuahua any day, but I’m not fucking with a bear.

That was my excitement for this week. Good news is that I’m off work now until Tuesday of next week. My friend Mike is up from North Carolina and weather permitting we’re going out golfing tomorrow. I would say that beats working any day. We went golfing on Monday (another paid day off I had) and holy shit am I out of shape. We walked the first nine holes and rented a cart for the second nine. My legs hurt from walking and my upper body hurt from swinging. I suppose if I didn’t have to swing 11 times per hole I wouldn’t be in such rough shape.

I noticed today that someone in Ohio won the 260 million dollar Powerball yesterday. I just want to remind my bestest friend Lisa that I am still around just in case it was her that won…

Now, off to the bar to play some pool!!!

Ah, this homeowner shit is for the birds. The person I bought the house from had a child, in my back yard are dead grass patches in the shape of various playthings that children have. The side of the garage is pretty much all dirt, weeds and rock. I landscaped the side of the garage last weekend and planted grass there and in my jungle gym spots as well. I also have more weeds growing in my yard that a normal person should. I decided to apply a lovely product called weed and feed last Saturday to my entire lawn. As I look out this morning trying to decide if I should or shouldn’t mow lawn, I am noticing that I have distinct dark green stripes of thick grass with lighter colored thin grass between. I now see that when I used the spreader that I did not provide the even cover that I should have. This makes mowing lawn a pretty sure bet now. I need to do it before those 90’s get here tomorrow.

That’s right, it’s time for the official “it’s too hot, I wish it would cool down” complaint. In fact, I think that’s all I really need to say about that issue. Actually the heat doesn’t bother me now, because I have central air now… that’s right, I’m like the Jefferson’s and I moved on up. I only had to use it about three times last year after I moved in, but that is so much sweeter than those lame ass window units I used to screw with.

In other news, my allergies are kicking my ass it seems. That is about the only thing I miss about winter time. That and not having to get off my ass to mow the lawn.

I’ve had credit cards now since I was in my late teens. My first “credit application” was when I was 13 when I bought my first stereo system. Of course I had to have my mom cosign for me but I was able to pay for it. Of course now that I think back, how the fuck did I when I was too young to have a job? Weird. Anyway, the point is that I have been involved in the credit world for a long time up to my ultimate credit of a house, aka legalized loan sharking. There is nothing I enjoy more than purchasing something worth x amount and then over the next 30 years paying back damn near double that amount. Where is my winning lottery ticket, I hate interest unless I’m earning it.

This brings me to my least favorite credit card… Discover. Why are they so damn pesty? My card doesn’t expire for like 5 years, but it seems they send me a replacement card every year. Do you think I am wearing it out? I don’t even use it. The only reason I would carry my Discover card is if it was icy and I forgot my scraper for my car windows. That, or if I wanted to break into a door that doesn’t have a deadbolt on it; other that those reasons, that card is totally worthless. Now I just got my new card in the mail again (my original was good through 2013, just like the replacement they sent me) so I had to call and activate it. When I call to activate I’m put through to the live person instead of being able to just activate by pushing buttons like normal cards do. I get on the phone with this woman and she’s asking me why I haven’t used my card since 2008. I said well I normally just use my debit card or cash. Then she goes into this big ordeal how if I carry cash it could be stolen but I’d be safe with using my Discover card. Well no shit Sherlock, nobody wants to steal that shit. If someone stole a wallet and it had a Discover card and a 10 year old condom in it, they’d be ecstatic about the vintage Trojan they found. After this she had the audacity to ask me if I would promise to use my Discover card more. Look, if you’re not happy that I’m not using my card, then grow some balls like those assholes over at MasterCard and cancel my damn accounts for inactivity. I have a house now; I don’t use anything but my Menards card and my debit card. I use one because I’m always buying something for the house and the other because I’d rather spend money I have, not money I can pay back.

In other news, it snowed here Friday and Saturday. Let me repeat that in case it didn’t sink in… it snowed here. Need I remind you that in April I actually was able to leave my windows open overnight a couple times, then in May I’m dodging pelting snow and 30mph winds… that is fucked up, and unfortunately normal in Wisconsin. On the plus side we are up to a balmy 48 degrees here and heading for a high of 57. You know what that means right? No winter coat today!

I’ve been talking about it for a while, but now it’s finally official, I dumped off my cell phone for the most part. When I say I dumped it off, I mean for the first time in 12 years I’m not on an actual contract. I have a prepaid card I buy and only use the phone when I want to. I am currently on the lame ass pay $3 per day when you use the phone plan. What kind of bullshit plan is that? Being on that plan has resulted in me shutting the phone off completely because I’m not paying that much a day because some numb nut phones or texts me. So, a tech geek like me gives up his cell phone, almost sounds like an experiment for a documentary. I have heard the same thing from everyone I’ve told that I scaled back the cell; WHY??

Why not? You see, back in 1998 I got a cell phone and cancelled the land line. My thought was hey cool, I can only pay one phone bill and always have my phone on me. When I did that and told people I was cutting off the landline I heard the same thing… WHY?? That was 12 years ago that I did that. Now everyone is doing that. Now I’m going the other way. You see, I’m a trendsetter, not a trend follower. Besides, do you know how freeing it is to go into a store and not worry that you are going to be interrupted by a phone call? I hear a cell phone now and it makes me happy I don’t have to look like an idiot digging in my pocket to see if it was mine. I hate hearing a cell phone ring when I’m in a store… it’s a pet peeve. Of course, now it isn’t a ring, everyone has a stupid fucking ringtone. Oh, is that a Nickelback song on the store radio? No, that moron is just getting a phone call over there.

Oh, and you texting assholes… what the fuck is that about? I’d rather dial the same number as if I was going to call you, but instead of asking you a question, I’d rather type the thing out. The other thing is people send a text and then sit there and keep looking at their phones waiting for their text back. In my experience, it seems to be women mostly that do that. No stereotypes there, just from my keen observations I see more women hanging onto the hopes and dreams that whatever sperm donor they’re currently receiving from will text them back. It’s kind of sad. Remember when you were about 4 and you were watching Rudolph and the other deer made fun of him and he hung his head in shame… it’s that sad. Anyway, enough shit about cell phones, I feel like I went way off course with that blog.

This wouldn’t be my blog if I didn’t bring this up… it fucking snowed today. I slept with the windows open a week ago and today it snowed. I know what you’re thinking… and you should be ashamed of yourself. Oh, you were thinking that it’s Wisconsin and I should be used to that. Yeah, sure that’s what you were thinking. I’ll overlook your sinful thoughts this time because I’m good like that and it’s almost time for bed. On the plus side of the weather, the 70’s are set to make a comeback soon. I can’t wait. Unfortunately, I have to.