As I sit here thinking about the fact that I have less than two weeks left to work at my current retail job, I have been watching a little more television than I used to and I have noticed a disturbing trend. I know what you’re thinking… he’s going to bitch about those worthless ass reality shows like American Idol. As much as I’d love to waste my time bitching about that I’ve got bigger fish to fry now.
The Weather Channel has a new show on called “It Could Happen Tomorrow”. The whole premise of this show is to show you disasters that could happen if all the conditions were right. Let’s get that straight now, the channel that is supposed to report what is happening out there is now showing us shit that could happen if everything would fall into place. What a bunch of sadistic fuckers down there. Then I decide to switch the channel and I find this show on the Discovery Channel called “Perfect Disaster.” I’m thinking that it is going to be along the lines of the movie The Perfect Storm and talk about some shit that went down and teach me a little history lesson. Oh no, this is the same damn premise as the show on the Weather Channel. Look at what could happen if everything would come together just right.
Doesn’t enough bad shit already happen where we don’t need to start thinking of other bad shit that hasn’t happened yet? Doesn’t anyone remember the fucking Tsunami? How about all of the hurricanes we’ve been having. As if all of that shit wasn’t enough now we’ve got to have shows on describing new horrible disasters we’ve never even thought of yet. Hey, maybe a mega tornado will rip the shit out of the Dallas area and hit a stadium. Thanks, I’ll never enjoy a game in a stadium again. What the hell is wrong with people these days?
I think I’m going to get my own show along these lines and show people how bad their lives could be. Hey look, you could get hit by a car tomorrow. Someone could bring an UZI to your job tomorrow and waste everyone. Ah, that would be too simple though, that shit already happens around the world; I’ve seen it on CNN before. I’d have to come up with more creative shit than that.
You’re working in your office and you have the air conditioner on. Suddenly a power surge flares up in your building, but instead of knocking the power out in your building it supercharges the A/C unit and freezes everything in the office instantly, bringing the second ice age to your workplace.
See, if you come up with shit like that which will hopefully scare the living hell out of people then you might just have a show to work on. I think I’m gonna go call those dipshits at FOX right now. They seem to like copying other networks shows whenever they have a chance, why be any different now. Besides, they can put me on in Family Guy’s timeslot since all they ever show are reruns anymore.
If we’re going to play the ‘what if?’ game, my ex would be crossing the street at the exact moment that a bus’ brakes failed while going 90 miles an hour… and all the local hospitals would be closed due to a freak series of highly localized storms resulting in hail the size of refrigerators.
‘It could happen tomorrow’… hey, a girl can dream.
If we’re going to play the ‘what if?’ game, my ex would be crossing the street at the exact moment that a bus’ brakes failed while going 90 miles an hour… and all the local hospitals would be closed due to a freak series of highly localized storms resulting in hail the size of refrigerators.
‘It could happen tomorrow’… hey, a girl can dream.