It’s finally official; I have deleted my MySpace account. Honestly it was one of the places on the web that I ignored more than this website. I never logged in, never played any of the MySpace games or any of that happy shit. The whole point of that account from the get go was to link up with other 3rd Bass fans and promote my other website; well that was fine and dandy while it lasted, but it got old. As far as I’m concerned, once you get a tie in with music, all everyone wants to do is make you their friend and try and promote their shitty band on your page. Another thing about MySpace was really, what was the point? I can blog whenever I want to, I can post images, I can tell people my likes and dislikes… well isn’t that why I pay money for disgruntledhuman.com for? I started this shit years ago, I’ve been blogging since 2002 and I let some Johnny Come Lately bullshit social networking site lure me into their false dreams and broken promises? Hell no, that’s why I deleted my account. Speaking of bullshit social networking sites, I am keeping my Facebook at the moment. I am however, not taking and of the crazy bullshit that comes with it. I play a few games, mostly Farkle and a few other things that take about 4 minutes tops of my time, but I don’t want to be your farm neighbor, I don’t want to join your mafia, and I don’t want to fill out any fucking surveys… I’m old enough to remember the survey bullshit back when they passed around in emails. Now all you get in emails are offers to make my penis larger and my Nigerian friends asking me to help them transfer large amounts of cash.

Wow, it’s almost Easter. That means uncomfortable small talk around the table while eating ham and trying to pretend you get along with all your relatives. That’s what the colored eggs are for, distraction. I don’t do the colored egg thing anymore, way too old for that. Speaking of eggs though, I wonder one thing. Why is it when I want to have fried eggs with toast I can’t save a yolk for my life? Now on the other hand, if I am making scrambled eggs, I can crack the egg 20” above the pan and drop it in and the yolk is just fine. What the hell is up with that? Damn you Murphy and all your laws.

Holy hell, I’m on a roll here, I’m a blogging maniac lately. Tune in next time and I’ll talk about why I hate texting and if you call my cell phone you won’t get me anymore…

It’s Good Friday, I’m off work today, it’s 5am, and I’m wide awake…
WHY???

…I’ve been here for years.

Stop the presses, two days in a row – holy shit. I am sitting in my house after 7pm with the windows open and it’s still March. Did I mention that I’m in Wisconsin? I did fail to mention that I went and had allergy testing done and I have major allergies. What am I allergic to you ask; pretty much anything outside of the house and some things inside the house as well. I have super allergies to grass and trees which makes me think I should concrete the yard this summer. Gotta love those allergies, that’s for sure. So I’m playing around with a concoction of Singulair and XYZAL, which shouldn’t even be a word should it? It looks like you finished the alphabet off and started over then said fuck it, just throw an L in there. I don’t know if the shit is even working because I got a cold, which funny thing, happens to be a side effect of the allergy medicine. Isn’t that a bitch? Hey, your allergies have let up, well let up enough for this cold to take over. But look on the bright side, now your snot is yellowish green again. Awesome, that was worth being poked by a needle 80 times.

You know, usually the weather is pissing me off, but now the Weather Channel is pissing me off. They just changed my local forecast thing again, and this time it talks to me. I thought it was bad when they played that shitty elevator music in the background, but now I get to hear some guy talk weather to me. Hey dickhead, I can read, zip it. Another thing, the weather channel plays a movie on Friday nights now? When did this shit start? It’s a weather related movie, but honestly, how many of those can there be out there. You can only play Twister so many times before people catch on that you don’t have much of a movie catalog. Soon they will play a movie and say, oh, it snowed in the movie, that’s weather related so therefore it’s relevant. It’s not, you’re the Weather Channel and that means you give me the boring ass weather, that’s what I turn the channel on for, not for a movie. Maybe the Food Network should have movies like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory… shit, now they probably will.

Some days I really need something new to bitch about. Every once in a while I get this feeling like I miss working retail. Of course a quick trip to my local grocery store squashes that empty feeling right away. Nothing feels better than walking into a store and seeing some annoying customer pissing and moaning about something and knowing that you truly don’t give a shit about their problems and you’re not going to do anything to help them… just like when I used to work at the store.

First off I must apologize for missing an entire month of blogging (aka… one blog entry). In my defense I had received a kick ass Earthquake machine for Christmas and I had been playing with it quite a bit. Unfortunately it has since been confiscated by the government which means no more fun for me… back to recklessly driving my Toyota I guess.

Speaking of Toyota, what the hell is NASA sticking their noses into this for? Are we stupid here or what? Hey Toyota and US Government, let me explain something to you. The problem is that these cars are speeding out of control. Do you really want to have NASA, you know the people that make a space shuttle that goes 17,500mph, working on your out of control cars? I think not, this is a car problem. If you want a government program that will slow shit down to a snail’s pace, try Congress. Although this would be fun for the Toyota engineers working with NASA; anytime someone from NASA comes up with a theory they could just say… yeah whatever, what are you a rocket scientist?

I think it’s finally here, even a little bit early. That’s right, the mid 70’s are coming this week and I couldn’t be happier. I know what you’re thinking; now he’s just going to start bitching about it being too warm out. No. Although I’m not looking forward to the sweltering heat of the summer combined with a ton of humidity, I am looking forward to being able to go outside with short sleeves on and not end up in the hypothermia ward at my local hospital. I’m hoping to be able to get out and do some shit this year. I want to golf for sure and possibly go camping this summer. Last year I got so wrapped up in this house bullshit that I totally missed my summer. Now that the remodel is completed I can hopefully relax this summer and do some fun stuff. That reminds me, I need to put some pictures up someday.

What else is on my agenda? Oh yeah, I want to learn how to play the acoustic guitar. I have one now and am trying some self taught techniques and if I feel like I’m getting the swing of things I will probably take some lessons in the future. I have wanted to learn for many years, but I always put it off thinking I would do it in the future. I guess I’m coming to the realization that I’m not getting any younger; what do I look like, Benjamin Button? Either that or I’m having a mid life crisis, which would totally suck ass if I only get a guitar out of my mid life crisis and not a hot convertible and a hotter 19 year old woman. That is what you would call a raw deal any way you slice it.

Holy shit, what happened to February? I completely missed that month. Lots to talk about, but no time to tell it. Hope to be back at 100% soon…

For the second time in the span of one month we’ve had a day of rain. That’s funny, because I could have sworn that I lived in Wisconsin and this was winter time. This happened on Christmas day and again this past Saturday. It rained almost all day on Saturday and then turned over to that wet sloppy bullshit snow overnight and gave us a few inches of slop by Sunday morning. I was able to get the snow blower to cut through this so I could get out of my house. Of course, only the main roads were done, meaning I had to meander through this fucking maze of rutted road to get to the main roads. When did they plow my roads you ask? They plowed them sometime early this morning because apparently they wanted to wait until it was frozen solid. Why would anyone want to plow a road when it’s wet and sloppy and would come up easily, might as well wait until it freezes and you can ruin a blade or two? I’m all in favor of turning a four hour job into a twelve hour job.

Holy hell, I haven’t blogged since before Christmas. I guess I need to play some catch up now. Let’s rewind to Thanksgiving. Turkey, stuffing, blah blah blah… nothing really spectacular happened then, so let’s move on. For my first time ever I went out shopping on Black Friday. The fact that I’m not sitting in a holding cell still awaiting trial for beating the shit out of some random asshole that pissed me off on that day is a miracle in and of itself. I really can’t say I will ever go out and do that again. Not that I don’t enjoy waking up at 3am and going to a store (holy shit, that sounds like when I used to work retail), but really… I don’t like going to a store at 5pm. Add in no sleep and 500 additional people and you have the recipe for a disgruntled human.

I bought a Christmas tree and had that up. I actually ended up having Christmas dinner here at my new house this year. It wasn’t too bad except for the aforementioned shitty weather we had. It was a small party with only 8 of us here. The Sunday after Christmas I got up in the morning feeling ok and then when I sat on the couch I got a lovely surprising feeling of falling backwards. I also had a very plugged left side of my head, nasal congestion and all that good shit. On Wednesday I ended up going to the doctor at urgent care and was diagnosed with having BPPV. The V stands for vertigo in that awesome acronym. I know I didn’t ask for that for Christmas. It took a full week for the vertigo to go away and I was extremely pleased when it did. There’s only one reason you should be hanging onto your headboard, and feeling like you’re spinning isn’t the reason.

Now it’s the New Year and I am getting ready to do my taxes. I cannot wait to get my money now with my 8,000 credit for being a first time home buyer. I will be super rich then, until I realize that I have a mortgage and owe almost 10 times that. Ah, the joys of being a responsible adult… what a crock of shit.

That’s right, Christmas is right around the corner and I haven’t even finished my shopping yet. I wish I could say that was a joke but it isn’t. I will be at the store on Thursday buying some stuff I’m sure. I just went out and bought a ham today because apparently when you buy yourself a new house you become obligated to host Christmas there. Luckily being out of retail I’m not sick of Christmas anymore. Every year seems to get just a little bit nicer. In fact I’m not sick of much of anything anymore. I need to change that.

I know… I’m sick of listening to people on the news piss and moan about Tiger Woods and whoever he is or isn’t driving. People all over the world are cheating on their spouses and being famous doesn’t make you exempt from it, but it also shouldn’t make you the target of everyone else with shitty morals suddenly judging you for your actions. All I can say is that with America’s short attention span Tiger will be back in our good graces soon enough; right Kobe Bryant?

On a side note, why was I up at 6am on a Sunday morning?

I’m still around. The house remodel is kicking my ass for the most part. I am down to only putting trim back up which I will be doing this weekend. I also have a major homework assignment to finish before December 1st. That probably means that I won’t be back to my blog until after that.

It also means that I will be homework free before Christmas and will be done with classes completely (aside from a few test outs I need to do.)
Hopefully I will be back with a new blog design come 2010… at least that’s my early resolution.

Alright, so I’ve made it through my first mortgage payment without the need to go out and sell blood or give hand jobs in the alley, so I think I’m doing pretty well. I’ve been in the house since August 1st so I’m almost two months in. Like a dumbass I decided to sign up for another class this fall. That’s smart to do when you move into a new place you have some major plans for. Of course I didn’t take some lame ass let’s just fill in the answers and be done with it class, I had to take a technical writing class. Even more reason I don’t feel like writing blog entries.

What else have I been doing? Oh yeah, I completely ripped the kitchen out of my house. Currently I do not have anything in my kitchen but a table and my fridge. Everything must go, well except the table, I’ll keep that. I started last weekend with a friend coming up and we ripped out the majority of the cabinets that were in the kitchen, leaving only the set that held the sink in. did I ever mention the sink? It was a single tub white porcelain covered cast iron model with the molded in foot long dish strainers on each side. Well I pulled the rest of everything out on Friday night after work, because that’s what I wanted to do after working all day long. Now I’m faced with a kitchen that needs a paint job, an electrician (coming Monday) and cabinets, countertops and appliances (all in the garage). I probably won’t be back on here for a while now. The only saving grace is that when I’m down it will look a lot better, and I’ll have something new to add to my photos section on my website.

So to recap, I am very tired, very stressed and very sore, not to mention slightly overwhelmed by the amount of things to do. The part I’m looking most forward to is getting the kitchen done, which will be started next weekend around inventory at work. I didn’t mention that, I’ll be at work late Friday and probably a good chunk of Saturday too. I plan on getting as much done Saturday night and Sunday as I can though. The part that overwhelms me is the homework, not sure why my dumbass didn’t wait until the spring semester to sign up for another class. Well, what’s done is done, hopefully I complete and pass the class; oh yeah, then I’m done taking classes unless I decide I want to get another degree. That isn’t happening anytime soon. Now I must go, the couch is calling and I need some more sleep.

So i’m pretty much moved in but still unpacking. I have most of the big stuff where I want it but there tons of boxes of little shit that I haven’t figured out where to put yet.

I never realized owning a house was such a joyful pain in the ass. I don’t think I’ve sat down to relax for over two weeks now. Oh well, keep thinking $8,000 from the government… it makes it sound sweet.

I don’t even know if I’ll be back before the month is over, so just in case at least I did an entry in August. My list of shit to do is endless.

A couple of days ago I received an email about one of my articles that is on my site, well a series of them called customers suck. The email told me that “aside from the profanity” they enjoyed the articles. My thoughts on that teetered back and forth. I get a lot of positive and negative comments about my site, whether by email or comments on the blog or guestbook entries. One thing I don’t do is edit or delete them if I don’t agree or like them. For whatever reason, I throw my thoughts out there for everyone to see and I know that not everyone is going to agree with my thought patterns which is great as far as I’m concerned. However, I don’t ever recall someone telling me they like what I wrote but didn’t like the fact that I used profanity. It got me to start thinking about what is profanity anyway. I decided I would look it up online to make sure so I turned to a trusty dictionary. Not a paper dictionary, this is 2009 and even Merriam-Webster is online. Here is what I found out:

Main Entry: pro•fan•i•ty
Pronunciation:prō-ˈfa-nə-tē, prə-
1 a: the quality or state of being profane b: the use of profane language
2 a: profane language b: an utterance of profane language
Well that was rather helpful wasn’t it? Now I have to go reference profane.
Main Entry: pro•fane
Pronunciation:prō-ˈfān, prə-
1 : to treat (something sacred) with abuse, irreverence, or contempt : desecrate
2 : to debase by a wrong, unworthy, or vulgar use

Well thank you online dictionary, now I know and knowing is half the battle. Ok then, profanity is profane language; well wait, that’s rather confusing isn’t it? You see, I never understood and still don’t understand why certain words are considered bad. It is one of those things that never made sense to me, someone heard a word and said; God doesn’t like that word. I’m guessing it was religion based at its earliest conception because most things that were considered bad were blamed on God to scare people into not doing them. In case this is the only thing you’ve ever read of mine, you should know I’m not scared to use so called “dirty words” but you should also know that I don’t always use them or even rely on them to make my point, however I do occasionally use them to exemplify points. In fact it may shock you that even I for whatever reasoning am not a huge fan of people cussing and swearing; but I think there are more profane things out there than words.

A good example would be this, which is more profane? You’re at the store and a woman and her 8 year old are shopping, the 8 year old drops a carton of eggs on the floor and instantly lets a cuss word fly out. Is that horrible, I don’t’ think so. If the child launches into a two minute tirade of words then yes, but one quick instinct word I don’t think would be profane or would stop the world from turning. Scenario two is much more profane in my eyes, and one as a former retail employee is one I’ve seen on many occasions. The same mom and her 8 year old are shopping and the 8 year old wants something and is told they can’t have it. Well this sets off the child and now they are, without using any swear words, telling their mother how stupid she is and how she doesn’t love them and basically belittling her in front of an entire store. That utter disrespect is what is profane to me.

That being said, I don’t want to hear your child swearing. Like I said, I swear my fair share but as a child I was disciplined and taught not to swear. So no, my argument isn’t that kids swearing isn’t profane, but that it isn’t the worst thing. Don’t get me wrong here; I don’t want Sesame Street being sponsored by the F word anytime in the future either. I also don’t want to hear newscasters swearing either; although these days I don’t think you could lessen the integrity of the news any further.

So what is profane? Anything that you don’t agree with or things that personally offend you. Is that a question or a statement? I’ll leave that up to the reader, as I have other things I need to do. One thing I think is profane is that a blog about what is profane didn’t contain any profanity.

Standup comedy is probably one of my favorite mediums, I have enjoyed watching and listening to standup since I was young, as I mentioned before I was introduced to George Carlin at a young age. I remember when I actually got to see George in all his glory on HBO back in the late 80’s and also got to see many other comics on HBO I was definitely hooked. I even used to watch Night at the Improv on the A&E network every Sunday night. Well that was many many years ago and now we live in the age of CD’s, DVD’s and digital downloads and I listen to a lot of comedy. Lately one of my favorites has been Jim Gaffigan. He’s got the everyman thing going for him, the “safe” topics and he doesn’t swear (anymore) in his performances, which opens up more mass appeal and sells to more audience members. Well on his last comedy performance he did like five to six minutes on bacon.

One part of the bacon bit was how we make other foods taste better by wrapping them in bacon. Now I do like bacon, but I usually just do regular bacon for breakfast and bacon bits if god forbid I eat a salad. Anyway, I’m at the store one day and I see the bacon wrapped steaks on sale and I think, well steak is good, bacon is good; I bet there’s something to this. So I buy my cheap version of filet mignon and the next day realize that it is excellent and the bacon adds so much to it. Well the next time I went to the store shopping I see something that blew my mind. Bacon wrapped pork.
I’m pretty sure that is one of the signs of the apocalypse. Who is the one thinking, hey, you know what would make this pork taste better? More pork wrapped around it. You’re probably asking yourself one thing; did you buy some? Of course I bought some, and let me tell you, bacon wrapped around a pork steak is great, like mixing breakfast and supper together. Maybe we could call it bupper, or seakfast… just throwing it out there. I do have to give props to the salesperson at the pork plant, they have earned every dollar of their commission.

In other news I’m moving, hopefully within the next two weeks. That will make me even less scarce for a short time in the online world. That’s ok though, I’ll be offline enjoying some bacon wrapped food.