Month: March 2006

Well, I’m in under a week now and I guess I’m starting to realize that it will soon be all finished and done with. I know for a fact that it will be a very good thing being done with this job and all, but it’s starting to sink in that I won’t be seeing these people everyday that I have now for over 11 years. I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s a very weird feeling. There’s also the nagging feeling that I won’t have health insurance for two whole months starting in April. I’m going to look like the kid in the car commercial all wrapped up in bubble wrap for the months of April & May.

Moving on away from work… for the first time in quite some time I actually purchased a few CDs. I got the new one from Public Enemy which is really good with a throwback to the old days without sounding extremely retro. If you were never a fan you’ll probably never be and if you are a fan buy the album because you should really enjoy it. I also picked up Sonic Jihad by Paris. I have wanted this one for quite a while and it isn’t available anywhere around here so I hadn’t picked it up until now. It’s a very political rap record, which is something that is unfortunately not done much anymore and when it is done it’s never put on the radio. Apparently the only way you can have rap music played on the radio is if you scream incoherent messages and sayings without every conveying a message… aka talking loud as a motherfucker but ain’t sayin’ nothin’. The third album I picked up was by Chino XL. If you don’t know Chino XL I’d suggest you try and find his stuff either in the stores or online. I haven’t heard this CD enough to really judge it yet, but Here to Save You All is probably his best one… true classic, too bad not enough people know about it.

As I sit here thinking about the fact that I have less than two weeks left to work at my current retail job, I have been watching a little more television than I used to and I have noticed a disturbing trend. I know what you’re thinking… he’s going to bitch about those worthless ass reality shows like American Idol. As much as I’d love to waste my time bitching about that I’ve got bigger fish to fry now.

The Weather Channel has a new show on called “It Could Happen Tomorrow”. The whole premise of this show is to show you disasters that could happen if all the conditions were right. Let’s get that straight now, the channel that is supposed to report what is happening out there is now showing us shit that could happen if everything would fall into place. What a bunch of sadistic fuckers down there. Then I decide to switch the channel and I find this show on the Discovery Channel called “Perfect Disaster.” I’m thinking that it is going to be along the lines of the movie The Perfect Storm and talk about some shit that went down and teach me a little history lesson. Oh no, this is the same damn premise as the show on the Weather Channel. Look at what could happen if everything would come together just right.

Doesn’t enough bad shit already happen where we don’t need to start thinking of other bad shit that hasn’t happened yet? Doesn’t anyone remember the fucking Tsunami? How about all of the hurricanes we’ve been having. As if all of that shit wasn’t enough now we’ve got to have shows on describing new horrible disasters we’ve never even thought of yet. Hey, maybe a mega tornado will rip the shit out of the Dallas area and hit a stadium. Thanks, I’ll never enjoy a game in a stadium again. What the hell is wrong with people these days?

I think I’m going to get my own show along these lines and show people how bad their lives could be. Hey look, you could get hit by a car tomorrow. Someone could bring an UZI to your job tomorrow and waste everyone. Ah, that would be too simple though, that shit already happens around the world; I’ve seen it on CNN before. I’d have to come up with more creative shit than that.
You’re working in your office and you have the air conditioner on. Suddenly a power surge flares up in your building, but instead of knocking the power out in your building it supercharges the A/C unit and freezes everything in the office instantly, bringing the second ice age to your workplace.

See, if you come up with shit like that which will hopefully scare the living hell out of people then you might just have a show to work on. I think I’m gonna go call those dipshits at FOX right now. They seem to like copying other networks shows whenever they have a chance, why be any different now. Besides, they can put me on in Family Guy’s timeslot since all they ever show are reruns anymore.

If you’ve read my site at all, even casually then you probably have gotten the gist that I’m not particularly crazy about my job or place of employment. Today marks my 11th year at the store and every year it has gotten a little worse to work there. When we were sold off in 1999 that was the start of the downhill decline and then when my boss disappeared a few years ago that was another blow not to mention the countless stupid things that have happened there in the last 7 years. I have no desire to go into any details here because I know for a fact I have in past posts and there is no need to regurgitate old shit that is over and done with. Besides, this post is a very happy post. Yes, I know that is a first… a happy post from a disgruntled human. Write it on your calendars, call Ripley’s because on March 15, 2006, it happened. I said I was happy. Deal with it fuckers.

As I mentioned a few minutes or hours ago, depending on your reading abilities, today was my 11-year anniversary at the store. However, that is not the cause for celebration… the cause for celebration is the fact that I gave my two weeks’ notice today. Yes, I ended my 11-year run at the store by giving my two weeks’ notice on my anniversary date. Doubtful anyone at work will get that significance but dammit, I do. My last day at this job, providing I don’t get extremely pissed off or am deemed a security risk and get walked off premises, will be March 31st. Oh yeah, that’s why he said a few days ago he couldn’t wait til then. Now you get it.

Onto the new job… it’s a low position working some data entry and accounting duties, but the place is a hell of a lot better than where I am at now. There is plenty room for advancement, and they will help you work towards your goals and reward you for making them. I will be doing schooling to attain an accounting degree and that will help me advance even further, plus I will get financial assistance from work for this schooling. Aside from the actual job aspect there is also the fact that there will only be a 2 mile drive versus the 16 mile drive I am currently making. Oh, did I mention that I won’t have to wear a shirt and a tie anymore? Well, I’ll still have to wear a shirt because I’m sure there’s some policy regarding that, and no one wants to see me bare skinned walking around work. Anyway, I could go on all day, but I already started online courses today and that is probably going to suck up most of my time now, at least my Wednesday’s and Friday’s.

Oh, by the way, if you want to make your own South Park figures, go to this WEB SITE.

Is it any wonder that I hate winter? Last week at this time the only snow that we had was the stuff that was still in piles on the side of the roads. Most of it had already melted, the streets were clear, and the grass was showing. This bullshit happened in one day, of course a Monday. We had every road in our county shut down during the course of this storm. The last time I remember this happening was 11 years ago when I first started my job. It was my second day, and I was supposed to go and train, and I called in because I couldn’t make it in. Ah the memories I could tell. Maybe I should write a book… my life in the hell you call retail. But hey, back to winter’s death grip on my town.

I saw some Robins flying around here on Sunday afternoon so I’m guessing they’re wondering what in the fuck is going on and if it’s anything like the human race, the female Robin is bitching out the male Robin for coming back during a snowstorm.

That’s all I can say about the snow without getting extremely pissed off. Of course, the snow is probably better than getting a tornado.

We are bracing for another snowstorm to hit us sometime between when I fall asleep and when I wake up. All I’ve heard is that we could get anywhere from 6 to 10 inches total from this. Needless to say I won’t be going to work tomorrow in that shit. Actually I have an appointment at the clinic tomorrow so I was taking the day off anyway. I can’t believe that it is almost the 13th of March already. This coming Wednesday will be the 15 and that is my 11 year anniversary at my store. I have a feeling that this will be my favorite anniversary I’ve ever had at work thus far and I’ll have to let you know how all that turned out on Wednesday. Maybe I’ll get an awesome gift this year for my anniversary. Hey, lets not dwell on my job anymore; because I’m sure not. I’m going to move on to a much more pressing matter; like the destruction of Family Guy.

I like the show Family Guy, I really do. The last time the show made its run it had a problem because FOX kept changing the nights that it was on and people could never find it and it really killed the ratings on the show. Everyone pretty much knows the deal with the resurrection of the show because of the high DVD sales but now that FOX has put it back on the air I think they’re fucking it up again. Sure they haven’t been playing night swap with it but it’s never on anymore. It seems like there is a show on and then you have to wait for four weeks to watch the next episode. Come on FOX, we as Americans don’t have that long of an attention span and we can’t remember to tune in whenever you decide to show the damn thing on TV. It’s fine to not show it the week of the Superbowl or the Oscars but why the fuck are there such big gaps in between? Maybe FOX doesn’t want the show to survive after all.

• If I have a dream and there is a helicopter in it, the helicopter will crash.
• Sometimes you just have to go for it.
• Wanting to do something and actually doing it are two totally different things.
• I really fucking want that new 2006 convertible blue Mustang that was at Ford when I got my oil changed.
• There’s a difference between a job and a career.
• Once you pop, you can indeed stop. Especially if you’re eating nasty shit like Pringles.
• Eleven years is a long goddamned time for anything, more so if it’s a job you don’t like.
• I can’t wait for March 31st this year.
• Death is inevitable, life is preventable.
• Wal Mart lets people set up beggars booths outside of their stores just so those people can bug the shit out of me.
• Did I mention I want that Mustang?
• Education is vital to your future and your success.
• I’m so sick of retail I don’t even enjoy shopping… well; I never did really enjoy that anyway.
• Some places of employment take their workers for granted and expect way more out of them than they should.
• Beavis & Butthead still make me laugh after all of these years.
• Variety is the spice of life, but I prefer Lawry’s Seasoned Salt.
• Winter is a cruel bitch that just won’t let go… she’s like a psycho girlfriend.
• Gas prices change for no reason other than greed.
• A 30 mile round trip is too far to drive for a job that doesn’t pay you as well as you think you deserve.
• Being able to sleep for more than two hours at a time does wonders for someone.
• Sometimes it feels so good to not care anymore.
• When life hands you lemons, make some lemonade and then piss in it.
• Whenever you can’t think of something solid to write, just make a list and people will think you actually tried.