Month: July 2006

So I’m peacefully sleeping this morning because it’s Saturday and because it’s not even 5 am yet. We’ve been having this lovely heat wave and apparently there’s a warm front (or cold front depending on which way it’s moving) around here causing storms. We were put under a thunderstorm watch last night when I got home from work until 8pm. Well around 8 they decided to cancel that and issue another one and then we were under a watch until 2 am.

There was a nasty looking line of storms heading our way and I figured we would get hit around midnight or 2. Hey, if the weather guy can’t be precise, why the hell should I be? I’m not even getting paid for it. Anyway, I woke up around 2 and flipped on the weather channel and that line of storms broke up and weren’t even going to touch us. I went back to bed and tried to get some more sleep after seeing we were under a watch now until 8am on Saturday.

I go to sleep and I have my police scanner on listening to that apparently in my sleep because I was sleeping. I was dreaming and remember hearing someone say we were under a severe thunderstorm warning and all I could think about in the dream was that I had to get home. Apparently they said that on the scanner though because then I woke up slightly just enough to hear them say ‘do you want me to ring the sirens?’ Well my first thought was that they were going somewhere and wondered whether or not they should turn on their siren or not.

Before I could fall back asleep however I realized that they meant should they blow the storm sirens. Now I don’t call these storm sirens, they are and have been for the last 15 years I have lived here been TORNADO SIRENS. The only time they were set off was in the case of a tornado warning. I guess that policy has been changed. Before 5 am I’ve got sirens going off like crazy and I’m positioned in town where I don’t just hear one siren, I hear them all. My first thought is of course… fuck, there’s a tornado out there. So I flip on the TV and look at the Weather Channel again and realize that not only are there no tornadoes heading for me, the storm itself is nowhere near my fucking town either. Sure, the whole county was under the warning but the storm was way in the northeast part and heading southeast and we were… go figure… southwest of the storm. So basically my local officials woke up the entire fucking town because it was storming 70 miles away. Thank you, I feel much safer. The sirens shouldn’t be blown every time there is a storm because what it does is make us less alert when they ring, much like the boy who cried wolf.

If you seriously think that a blog title needs to have absolutely anything to do with the contents of the blog, you’re so 2004. Maybe I’m just in a little bit of a happy mood because as of Monday at 9pm, I am officially homework free. That’s right, I finished all of my homework in a grueling two day marathon of doing shit I should have been doing the four weeks prior, but then again, I am a last minute kind of person. I see the last time I posted a blog, if you can call it that, was July 15th to mention how fucking hot it was. Well, once again this weekend we are going through another heat wave. I don’t mind it when it’s hot and humid and the weather person gets on television and tells me that with the heat index it will feel like 100, but when you put that 100 on the damn screen as the temperature I get a little pissy. That’s ok though, because my good friend A.C. is going to be hanging out with me while I sample some early retirement for the next two days. I’m going to just hang out like an old person and eat oatmeal, put together puzzles and shit myself all weekend long in my air conditioned comfort. Ok, I took it a little too far there for humor; I really don’t like oatmeal.

Of course, now that I’m done with work and I’m trapped in the house for a while, what ever will I really do? Well what do I normally do when I’m faced with boredom and alone time? No, not that you sick fuck… I’m talking about redesigning my webpage. I do not like the Flash menu at the top and that is out of here. I also am no longer fond of the color scheme and will be changing that up a little bit… and no, not a Skittles look either. I don’t know what colors I’m going to go with, but I’m sure it will be a little different than now. Writing that means that I currently have no surefire plan of what I’m doing, I just have the inkling to do it and I will.

Faced with the heat that I was mentioning earlier I have one question since we are in some sort of a drought. Why the fuck do people feel the need to water their lawns and keep them all green and pretty when we are in a drought? They are wasting perfectly good drinking water on grass, and not even the kind you smoke; it’s the kind you have to spend time cutting to size once a week if you’re stupid enough to water it. Its not even the fact that these people give a shit about the health of their grass, the only reason they do it is to show off to their neighbors and say ‘look fuckers, we can afford sprinklers’. That’s good, then when its 100 degrees out I can be sitting in my air conditioned house sipping nice ice cold lemonade and watch you keel over mowing lawn because you were stupid enough to make it grow.

I’m going to admit something, and it’s very hard for me to admit this shit. Why can’t it be something easy to admit like a cocaine addiction or a murder? Oh well, I’ll spit it out, I’ve got a MySpace account. I really didn’t want the account and I don’t pay any attention to it either. Why do I have a MySpace account anyway? Let’s see, I am not a recording artist so that’s not the reason. I’m not trying to meet underage girls so that I can end up on Dateline NBC either. I don’t need their shitty little blog or any of that because I own and pay for my own site. What the fuck do I have a page there for? It’s that goddamn peer pressure, that’s what it is. Actually the main reason I signed up for it was to link to other people in the music industry, mostly because of the 3rd Bass site I run, but then I realized that just because some famous musician is on your list of friends, it really doesn’t mean jack. Now the only time I ever visit the site is when I get a request for a new friend or something of that nature. Usually when I go check it out it just ends up being some sort of spammer trying to get their spam page linked to mine.

The infamous friends list, a.k.a. Top 8, a.k.a. who gives a shit. See, the thing is that I use to have a friends list on my website. I actually put a list down of who my friends were, mostly online and gave a brief description on them and all that jazz. Then suddenly I came to the age of reason and I realized that nobody really gave a flying fuck about that and honestly, neither did I. I sub sequentially removed the list. I use the word sub sequentially because I heard it on television once and thought I’d like to use it and feel important… much like people do on MySpace. Anyway, getting back to the friends thing, I removed it off of my page and then I see that MySpace is suddenly promoting this shit. Those fuckers stole my idea and ran with it. Damn, missed out again. Now on my MySpace account I have a friends list and with that is the infamous “top 8” which is apparently a way to rank your friends and show everyone who you really like. If you’re on someone’s friend list on MySpace and you’re not in the top 8 and it bothers you, then you are either under the age of 19 or you have serious social issues.

Another annoyance of MySpace (as if the whole thing wasn’t an annoyance) is the bulletins. Everyday depending on how many friends you have on your list you will get anywhere from 4 to 400 posted bulletins, most of them being shit like surveys and chain letter type shit. Its not horribly bad if you don’t mind answering the same 35 stupid questions over and over again, but after the first, oh say 400 times it gets a little old and repetitive. The only good thing about all of that bullshit being on MySpace is that I hardly ever get it in my email anymore.

Now every time I turn on the television I have to hear about all of the bad things that are happening because of MySpace. Apparently because of this one web community, all of the children in this country are dumber and are engaging in sexual activity and other unacceptable social behaviors because of this evil online place. Remember the good old days when kids just went into the fields and got drunk and high and fucked like bunnies? Damn, all that innocence is now lost because of this MySpace website. Damn you Tom!!