MySpace… Oooh

I’m going to admit something, and it’s very hard for me to admit this shit. Why can’t it be something easy to admit like a cocaine addiction or a murder? Oh well, I’ll spit it out, I’ve got a MySpace account. I really didn’t want the account and I don’t pay any attention to it either. Why do I have a MySpace account anyway? Let’s see, I am not a recording artist so that’s not the reason. I’m not trying to meet underage girls so that I can end up on Dateline NBC either. I don’t need their shitty little blog or any of that because I own and pay for my own site. What the fuck do I have a page there for? It’s that goddamn peer pressure, that’s what it is. Actually the main reason I signed up for it was to link to other people in the music industry, mostly because of the 3rd Bass site I run, but then I realized that just because some famous musician is on your list of friends, it really doesn’t mean jack. Now the only time I ever visit the site is when I get a request for a new friend or something of that nature. Usually when I go check it out it just ends up being some sort of spammer trying to get their spam page linked to mine.

The infamous friends list, a.k.a. Top 8, a.k.a. who gives a shit. See, the thing is that I use to have a friends list on my website. I actually put a list down of who my friends were, mostly online and gave a brief description on them and all that jazz. Then suddenly I came to the age of reason and I realized that nobody really gave a flying fuck about that and honestly, neither did I. I sub sequentially removed the list. I use the word sub sequentially because I heard it on television once and thought I’d like to use it and feel important… much like people do on MySpace. Anyway, getting back to the friends thing, I removed it off of my page and then I see that MySpace is suddenly promoting this shit. Those fuckers stole my idea and ran with it. Damn, missed out again. Now on my MySpace account I have a friends list and with that is the infamous “top 8” which is apparently a way to rank your friends and show everyone who you really like. If you’re on someone’s friend list on MySpace and you’re not in the top 8 and it bothers you, then you are either under the age of 19 or you have serious social issues.

Another annoyance of MySpace (as if the whole thing wasn’t an annoyance) is the bulletins. Everyday depending on how many friends you have on your list you will get anywhere from 4 to 400 posted bulletins, most of them being shit like surveys and chain letter type shit. Its not horribly bad if you don’t mind answering the same 35 stupid questions over and over again, but after the first, oh say 400 times it gets a little old and repetitive. The only good thing about all of that bullshit being on MySpace is that I hardly ever get it in my email anymore.

Now every time I turn on the television I have to hear about all of the bad things that are happening because of MySpace. Apparently because of this one web community, all of the children in this country are dumber and are engaging in sexual activity and other unacceptable social behaviors because of this evil online place. Remember the good old days when kids just went into the fields and got drunk and high and fucked like bunnies? Damn, all that innocence is now lost because of this MySpace website. Damn you Tom!!