Month: October 2006

Hey, it’s Halloween tonight and you know what that means… it means turn out the lights and eat the candy yourself because let’s face it, you paid for it. I watched the South Park Halloween special last week where Satan had a party and apparently everyone is in this big uproar because they showed Steve Irwin with a stingray sticking out of his chest. Now it wasn’t the fact that they actually showed him that outraged everybody, it was the fact that it was so soon after he died.

I found this out by reading various message boards where people were absolutely appalled that they would show Steve like this less than two months after it happened. The sad part was the only argument that was really made was that it was too soon after his death and they shouldn’t have made fun of him like that. I mean my god, the guy just died on September 4th of this year. I’m sure if he had died oh say, March 9, 1997 then he could have been in the show and nobody would have been upset. If it’s not right to show Irwin for less than a minute then you probably shouldn’t have the kids standing in front of a mirror saying Biggie Smalls three times in a row waiting for a murdered rapper to appear. Of course B.I.G. has been dead for over 9 years, so there’s apparently more humor in that.

Yes I have returned to grace you with yet another post about absolutely nothing you really give a shit about. I’m able to talk about nothing for two reasons, number one being that this is my blog, I own and pay for this web space and this domain name so I can say whatever I want (as long as I’m not retarded like the grocery boy in Milwaukee and make threats and get my ass incarcerated… which just goes to show you, when you work in a grocery store you’ll do anything to get away from the damn customers.) The second reason I can write anything is because today is my birthday.

That’s right it’s my birthday and you didn’t buy me anything did you. Shame on you, better start making excuses right now and maybe on the 8th day I’ll forgive you… maybe.

Let’s see, it’s been a week, something must have happened since the last time I posted a blog. Oh yeah, UPS pissed me off. The whole television saga that I’m having so much fun with is continuing and last Wednesday I got to ship my TV back to the fuckers I bought it from. Let me say that again… I got to ship it back. You might think if you sold someone some shitty equipment that you might just issue them a prepaid return label but no… I got to shell out $120 to ship a TV back. I was told that I could fax in my receipt and they would reimburse me, but we’ll just see if that happens or not. But Dave, why are you pissed at UPS? Well, let me get to that part… I get my cousin to come over with a pickup truck because you can’t fit a 42” broke ass TV into a Mustang no matter how hard you try. We load up the TV and haul it to UPS and I go inside and ask if I can get the cart to haul it in and the lady says sure then spazzes out and says, wait, I have to come out and measure it, because it may be too big for us to ship. Well she comes out and works her magic with her 10 year old tape measure and 2nd grade math skills and tells me that the package is too large and UPS won’t ship it. I kindly point out the “over 70 pound” UPS stickers all over the package and the shipping label that sent the TV my way in the first place which somehow was delivered by: you guessed it… UPS. Luckily for me there was someone else she asked and when I pointed out the labels of their company already on my box he said it was too large but they would make an exception and ship it for me. Well hot damn, my lucky day, to spend another 100 some dollars that is. So if you wonder why it took so long for me to blog about that, I think I had the word ‘fuck’ in there about 20000 times and decided to thin it out a little and mention it when I had my bearings back.

Tonight is the 3rd Annual Hip Hop Honors show and I will most definitely be watching that. I can’t say I still have the same passion for rap music that I did back in the late 80’s and early 90’s, but old school is still some of my favorite shit to listen to, and of course that’s who will be honored. I know I watched last year but I don’t remember a lot of it, although I do remember two years ago for the first when Run DMC were honored and the Beastie Boys with some help from Doug E. Fresh performed Sucker MC’s live… now that was the shit right there.

So anyway, I’m sitting at work today listening to country music, because that’s what we listen to on Tuesday’s now… yeah, listen to country during the day and listen to rap at night, I must be multi-cultured. There’s one thing that I’ve noticed about rap music that doesn’t really pertain to other types of music, the whole “keepin’ it real” part. I remember when gangster rap was at its pinnacle in the early 90’s and everyone was saying, well he just says that shit on records, he’s no gangster, he’s not keepin’ it real. So today as my twisted mind often does, I’m listening to some of these country songs and I’m wondering why no one is checking these assholes since they aren’t keepin’ it real. Nobody ever says, hey you never had a woman leave you and take you for everything you’re worth. You never attacked your ex’s car with a baseball bat, you don’t have a new girlfriend, you don’t get down on the farm. You see what I’m saying here? You have to keep it real when you’re on the microphone, and that means you people in Nashville too.

You probably see my lack of blogging and think that I’m off enjoying watching my vast DVD collection on my new 42” LCD television. Well in reality I haven’t even watched one movie on it and I won’t be either. See I got this TV on Friday September 29th and that was the day I ended up working over 13 hours so I didn’t even hook it up when I got home that night. Instead even though I worked on Saturday I hooked it up on the 30th when I got home. I really liked the picture even though I didn’t have HDTV service; it still looked good on the screen with my crappy normal cable TV. I watched this TV every night for about an hour or two like I normally would watch any television. I watched it Saturday night at midnight because they were showing the Pamela Anderson roast uncensored on Comedy Central so I figured I’d catch that as long as I was up. Sunday I was out of the house all day and when I got back home my cousin wanted to see how good the picture was on my TV and I figured I’d throw in a DVD and show him how nice it looked (had I mentioned how nice it looked yet?) So I stick in a DVD into the DVD player, because where else you gonna put a DVD, the toaster? Then I turn on my flat panel LCD television, you know, the one I’ve only had for the past eight days. Anyway, I turn it on and it comes on… then it turns off, then it comes on again, and then turns off again and keeps doing this shit until I have to unplug it. Well I believe my blood pressure shot up a few notches at that point when I started looking at my expensive non working decoration I suddenly had. I called the tech support because I was informed that they were extremely helpful which apparently translates to “able to read simple things off a page in broken English”. After talking to Apu for a few minutes and thinking I understood what he was saying I got the gist that I was supposed to unplug the TV for 10 to 20 minutes and it would reset itself and I could go on watching my shows. Cool, sounded good to me, I did just that and actually gave it a half an hour to settle its sorry ass down. I mean I left it off for 12 hours already; apparently turning it off for another few would just fix it right up. Well, it didn’t, and I was even more pissed off. I called my technical supporters back for the second time and went through the same bullshit with them again of telling them what was wrong and that I tried to reset it and that didn’t work and then I was told they were sorry, I must have been sold a defective set.

Well that is wonderful fucking news right there. In their defense he was very apologetic and gave me an RA number that they would be paying for the shipping to take it back and then send me a new one in place of it once they got the old one back. I agreed to that and took the RA number down and just tried to chill out a little bit. Of course the next day was Monday and I got to sit at work all day and stew. It was then that I decided that instead of sending it back to the manufacturer for repair or replacement I was going to send it back to the place I bought it from and just get my money back and I’ll buy a TV from a retailer next time. So Monday night I get home and I call up the place I bought it from and I tell them my problems and they offer me a refund and will be sending me all of the RA stuff to send it back. i won’t buy another TV from these people or the manufacturer again because I think Monica Lewinsky said it best when she said… the whole experience left a bad taste in my mouth.