Do you remember the glory days of the Big Mac? If you’re 28 or older you probably know the song even. Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onion on a sesame seed bun. I had a Big Mac not too long ago. They still taste the same to me, I still like them, but the Big Mac is now much more than a sandwich; it’s a comparison.
Whenever a product comes out they use the Mac to compare themselves to. If a competitor comes out with a new burger that they think is king, then they will compare it to the Big Mac and tell you how much more their version has. Hey, our burger has 20% more beef than the Big Mac and a better sauce too. That’s just great, so if I eat this then I’d be much better off eating your burger right? Wrong, you fuckers forgot the middle bun. It isn’t a Big Mac if you don’t have the middle oddball bun.
The other comparison I always hear now is when the dangers of food are discussed. This has twice the fat of a Big Mac or some bullshit comparison along those lines. Then another comparison will come out telling you how good their product is because it has half the fat of the Big Mac. Where do you get off implying that the Big Mac is full of fat? Sure it has two burgers and three buns and a host of other shit in it, but don’t compare yourself to the good old Big Mac. In fact, I think that McDonald’s should increase the fat of the Mac and make it something to really contend with, and I’ve got a plan right here. McDonald’s is experiencing a decline in sales lately with health conscious Americans so I think maybe they should expand where there is no concern for health… State Fairs. What they can do is bring the Big Mac, and many of their other menu items to the fair. Here’s the good part, you insert a stick into the burger, then you coat it with some sort of coating and you deep fry that fucker. Deep fried McDonald’s food on a stick would make a killing at the fair (in more ways than one).
Hey, the good news going on here, we’re getting a shitload of snow this weekend. When I say good news, I mean bad news because even though I don’t post as often as I used to, the rules still apply; I hate winter and I drive a Mustang, and it hates winter also. Speaking of my Mustang, I have it fixed, actually got it back last Friday the 17th. I had the fender fixed and then I paid out of pocket to have the bumpers replaced so I could have a car that wasn’t all fucked up for a while. Of course now I’m scared to drive it. On the plus side it has less than half the fat of a Big Mac.