I was going to write this last Friday, then I put it off and I was going to put it up on Saturday but that was April Fool’s day and since I really didn’t have much else to fool with, I posted the fake blog entry announcing my exit from the internet world. However, on that subject, I do truly think that I do waste entirely too much time online and although I will not cut my internet time off completely, once I start my new job I will most likely cut back. I think the hierarchy will go something like this: First priority will be school, second will be web pages and third will be instant pestering… in that order. Anyway, back to what I was going to write last Friday.
Friday was my last day at my old job. God it feels nice to say that, it rolls off the tongue so nicely… old job. I love it. I can honestly say that even though there are some people there that I will miss dearly, no tears were shed by me as I collected my check at noon and stuck around for about 45 minutes afterwards making my rounds and telling people goodbye and all of that shit. There was no feeling that I had made a mistake and that I would regret it or any of that. The only thing I felt as I walked out the doors for the last time was relief. How do I spell relief? Q-U-I-T. They say when you die that your life flashes before your eyes, well when I walked out the door for the final time, a lot of shit flashed before my eyes as I was reminded that I would never have to do it again. I’ll share some of that shit with you and those of you that still work in retail can try harder to quit your shitty retail jobs. I’m going to include some of the shit I did when I worked HBC because even though that wasn’t my job the last eight months, I had a hard time convincing upper management of that. Plus it’s an extra jab at Lisa.
Things I don’t have to do anymore:
- I no longer have to deal with stupid customers asking me stupid questions.
- I no longer have to order any holiday merchandise.
- I no longer have to put up holiday merchandise and hear people whine because I’m rushing things.
- I no longer have to hang a gajillion price changes.
- I no longer have to get up at 3 or 4 am everyday just to go to work.
- I no longer have to drive 16 miles one way just to go to work.
- I no longer have to be in bed by 9pm so I can get up so early.
- I no longer have to deal with shipped in immigrants that don’t speak the language asking me questions about products that don’t exist.
- I no longer have to help some woman figure out which feminine hygiene product will best fit her needs… not to mention her profusely bleeding crotch.
- I no longer have to greet people like they are my best friends that I haven’t seen for years. That’s right, no more fake niceness from me… or real for that matter.
- I no longer have to wear a tie.
- I no longer have to put up with people and their obnoxious crotch drippings coming in the store and wrecking the place.
- And I no longer have to be take people to items in the store because they are too stupid to read the big ass signs in the aisles telling them where the shit is.
That’s right, I no longer am a slave to the business after working two jobs for the last 16 years in retail grocery. The next time I am in a grocery store and a customer happens to ask me something, I get to say the best four words ever invented… I DON’T WORK HERE.