Let’s Do the Twist

I rented a couple of movies tonight because I was bored off my ass. One of the movies I got was Skeleton Key. It was a pretty decent movie, although I can admit I have seen better movies before. The one thing that got me is that every time I would see a commercial on TV for this movie I’d have to hear this: “with the greatest plot twist since the Sixth Sense”. Let me explain something here alright? All of you wanna be horror movies that only come off as a little spooky, do me a favor; quit comparing yourselves to The Sixth Sense. Yes, that movie drew us in and pulled off one hell of a plot twist and when you found out that Willis was dead for most of the movie you were like let me hit that fucking rewind button. That was a while ago though and I get so sick of every movie trying to duplicate what they had there. What Lies Beneath tried, Gothika wanted to, so did Stir of Echoes and the big one of course was The Others which totally ripped off the whole “dead through the whole movie” thing. It was like they said, hey we liked the Sixth Sense so let’s do that movie over but we’ll make it back in the old days and we’ll make it three people instead of just one… brilliant; pour me another Guinness. All of these movies are trying to draw you in and then after you are totally into the movie they shit all over you and let you know what you believed was completely wrong.

Remember when movies would do that before the Sixth Sense and they didn’t call it the plot twist, they called it the fucking plot. If your soul motivation for making a movie is for the five minute payoff at the end, well then you’ve wasted a studio’s money and an hour and a half of my life. Anyway, let me just say that the movie was good and I did not watch it for the plot twist, I watched it for the story. Obviously something happens in the end that makes you kind of rethink certain parts of the movie. If you watch it and it’s done, go back and rethink the hangings in the early part of the movie. Just do me a favor Hollywood, don’t try to sell me an hour and twenty minutes of some shit because the last ten minutes will be the best twist I’ve seen since Chubby Checker; just let me watch my movie and eat my fucking popcorn.

Hey, winter showed up the other day and boy was I happy. Luckily we didn’t get the eight inches of snow they were promising us and only wound up with about one inch. Sound familiar ladies? That’s ok though, let it snow. There’s only a little over 120 days until Spring.

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