Poor Martha

Yesterday was absolutely the longest day I’ve ever had. I was working at my normal pace and I wondered what time it was and I look down at my watch and it says it’s only 9:45am. Well that’s fucking impossible because I know everything I’ve done and it must be later than that. Well, upon a quick inspection of the time clock I realized that my watch was right and I was wrong. Well, the day dragged ass all day until I decided around 4 that I had it and I went home. Around 7 or so I decided to lie down on the couch and watch some TV. Sometime around 8:30 I fell asleep and when I woke up on the couch I thought it must be midnight or at least 11pm. Well, when I glanced at the clock it was 9:30. Damn, I wasn’t even asleep for an hour. Well at that point I was still tired so I put the sleep timer on the TV and crawled into bed and fell back asleep. The next time I woke up I figured it was 2 or 3 in the morning since that’s usually when I wake up. Well, one glance at the clock let me know that it wasn’t even midnight yet. What the fuck? Well, I went to the bathroom and decided to go back to sleep. The next time I woke up it was 1:30 in the morning. What a slow ass day and night this is turning into. I fell back asleep and when I woke up this time I figured it must be almost 6:30 and time to get up. I rolled over to look at my alarm clock and was alarmed that it was only 4am. I still had over two hours left before I need to get up. I tried to go back to sleep and I did fall back asleep but for whatever reason the weird fucking dreams started. I don’t even fully remember what I was dreaming but I woke up pretty damn quickly and decided to check out the TV. I ended up sitting on the couch and watched some TV and doze off if I could. I did doze off and when I woke up again it was 5… it was fucking 5am. What the hell is that all about? I decided to crawl back in bed since I had a whole hour and a half left to sleep and then I woke up about 5 times between then and when I was supposed to get up. What a fucked up night, not to mention there was nothing good on TV.

Why was there nothing good on TV you ask? Well, it’s because every channel I turned to was covering the Martha Stewart homecoming. Whoopty fucking doo. All I heard at 4 in the morning was how poor Martha now has to do another five months on house arrest. Have you seen her fucking house? Shit, house is an understatement. It’s a 16 million dollar estate. You could lock my ass up there for five months and I’ll be just happy. She’s a fucking millionaire and people are feeling sorry for her because she’ll be cooped up for five months. It’s like when your kid is bad and you send them to their room. Then you realize that their room has a PS2, a big TV, a computer and a phone. Wow, some punishment. How about we send Martha to the ghetto and make her be under house arrest? Would seem like more of a punishment to me then being locked up in a mansion.