I’ve seen some stupid things in my days of retail, but this is stupid to the 9th degree. First off, the product itself… why the fuck do you want your nether region to smell like a lavender blossom, or aloe or chamomile? What woman is seeking this item out? Do you think you will be fooling everyone when you are in the office and one of your co-workers in the next cubical leans over and says… you know Jenny, I think someone has some flowers in here, because I swear, I smell lavender blossom.
Ok, no guy is going to say that because I don’t think they’ve ever smelled lavender blossom before; I know I haven’t. And ladies, what about when you venture outside into the nice summer weather? Do you think that having the smell of fresh spring flowers radiating from your crotch isn’t going to attract a few bees looking to pollinate? I think it will. Then you will get stung in your hoo hoo dilly and whose fault is it going to be? Certainly not mine. I know, it will be Kotex’s fault.
Part two of the stupidity of this. I ripped this little paper off my shelf today, but don’t worry, there are plenty more of them up there. Read closely kids, because if you notice it’s a fucking scratch and sniff. Won’t you be the hit of summer school with your scratch and sniff Lightdays paper?
Of course, to top it all off; I don’t even carry this product on my fucking shelves. That’s right, there is advertising for flowery crotch coverings in my aisle and I don’t even carry the god damn things. How’s that for a fucking Monday?