Month: July 2005

I’ve been gone a little while and I haven’t been keeping as keen an eye on the world as I should have been and a couple of things have happened in my absence that must be addressed. First off, my old friends over at KFC… what the fuck are you thinking? I’m sitting down doing not much of anything and your newest commercial comes on and it’s apparently got something to do with chicken and I’m pretty sure your logo is pimped out all over the place on there; which is fine considering it’s your commercial. My problem is that the song you’re playing in the background on that commercial is Sweet Home Alabama. I know it’s a cool southern rock song and all and you’re from the south but lest we not forget that you’re name is KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN. It is not Alabama Fried Chicken right? What’s next, are you going to play On Wisconsin during one of your commercials? Let’s clear up the bullshit right now KFC, either find a song reflecting your own state or don’t play music in your commercials anymore.

What else has happened that’s pissed me off lately? Oh yeah, these god damn sex offenders I keep seeing on the news that are abducting and killing kids. What the fuck is that all about? What is up with having trials for these dumb fuckers either? Especially that one bastard out in Idaho; they caught him with the girl of the family that he murdered, found the brother’s body dead and now they have to have a trial to see if he’s guilty. Am I the only one not seeing the logic in this shit? He’s fucking guilty, no ifs ands or buts about it and now they have to waste hundreds of thousands if not millions of state money on a trial. You know, last time I checked a bullet cost less than a dollar. That’s right, shoot the fucker and get it over with. I don’t give a damn about his history or if his uncle touched him or whatever, it’s too late and he is not salvageable. If you are going to worry about anyone, worry about the little girl who was sexually abused and had all of her family killed, most likely in front of her. That’s who you need to psychologically help out. Look at the two that took Elizabeth Smart, they have been deemed incompetent to stand trial for her abduction and will be put in a state mental institution until he is capable of standing trial. Well if he’s that mentally incompetent why not throw him in the gas room and tell him it’s the fucking YMCA.

See if I was in charge there wouldn’t be any of this plea bargaining shit or this mentally incompetent shit. If you did the crime you do the time. I don’t give a shit if you wear a sock on your left hand and have in depth conversations about the universe with it, you’re fucking guilty bitch. Another thing I’d do is make it a federal crime punishable by death for doing anything sexual to a child; and if you’re found innocent, we’re still chopping your dick off. You can piss into a bag for the rest of your life because you don’t need that for anything else anymore jackass.

Ok, enough of my world domination plans for now… back to reality for a few moments.

My Job: Honestly I like it better now that I did when I was doing HBC/GM. Some people have to do shit now like order spring and summer for next year and I don’t have that kind of pressure to deal with. Some people have to be watching their back to school sections everyday and make sure it’s full and will be getting Halloween in the store within the next three weeks… not me. Some people are named Lisa… hahaha.

The Weather: Well, the last week has been beautiful outside, about average temps in the 80’s and then at night in the low 50’s, which is perfect sleeping weather in my opinion. Of course everything good has to end and starting as I write this entry the humidity is creeping up and those assholes that call themselves meteorologists are saying we are going to be in the 90’s for a few days starting tomorrow. Speaking of meteorologists, what happened to Jim Guy?

The Website: It’s finally done over there at thirdbass.net. I have officially closed the 3rd Bass website that was on my sub domain and all that is left is a link to the new site and a message telling people to update their bookmarks. Now what am I going to do? Oh yeah, probably start scheming up a redesign for the 3rd Bass site soon. I don’t like the look too much because I learned all of the nifty graphic designing stuff through my online classes and I wound up doing the site in mostly CSS. At the very least I will be doing a new flash banner because the one I did was pretty basic. Then again with me being done with the 3rd Bass site I may just have to redesign my main site once again… hmm, the possibilities are endless.

Harry Potter Mania
So I’m watching the news and I see that the new Harry Potter book comes out on Saturday. But of course since everyone in the world that gives a shit about it is a Harry Potter freak, it will be released at 12:01am on Saturday. The news however has focused on the security surrounding the release of the book. How the fuck does the release of a book get better security than our government gives? These books are more heavily guarded than our nation’s capital for Christ’s sake. Here the government was going to cut transportation security and a book is being guarded like it’s the Pope or the President. Maybe we should hire J.K. Rowling’s people to provide security for our country. At least they mean business.

INXS
Why? Look, I wasn’t the biggest fan of INXS back when I was in school, but I liked them enough to buy one of their albums. I bought Kick back in the day because there were enough songs on the album for me to justify buying it. I can’t even think of the words to describe the stupidity of the thought of a reality show that is going to name the new lead singer of the band. First off, why the hell did a record studio sign the band to a record deal in the first place? Now we are supposed to help find you a replacement lead singer? Why the fuck do the fans have to do all the work? Wait, who am I kidding, you haven’t had any fans since your old lead singer was doing his impersonation of a ceiling fan pull chain. In honor of Michael Hutchence wouldn’t you think you should just not record any more albums? I would think the fans wouldn’t really appreciate it that much. The only band I can remember that fared somewhat well with a replacement after the death of their lead singer was Van Halen with Sammy Hagar replacing David Lee Roth. Oh wait a minute, Roth didn’t die, his career did. Much thanks goes out to CBS for putting this shit on television. In fact I just had a brilliant idea… I’m going to call up FOX and see if I can pitch the idea of a reality show to them to find the new lead singer of Nirvana. FOX likes to steal other networks reality shows and make it like they are their own. Of course nothing else would bring the Starbucks junkies out in full force like desecrating the memory of Curt Cobain… not that Courtney Love hasn’t done enough of that already. Next up on my list on ABC… the new 2Pac.

A Nice Cup of Hot Coffee
So I’m reading that Joseph Lieberman and Hilary Clinton are upset that there is some sort of sex scene in the PC version of Grand Theft Auto. I don’t really picture either of these two sitting around playing the video game and finding the scenes, so the only logical explanation I have is that Bill found it. Honestly, if there’s someone that can find even a picture of a naked chick on her knees… it’s Bill. Anyway, all I’m hearing in the brief parts I saw on TV and read on the internet were how horrible it was to have these sexual images in the game. Why are we so uptight about sex in this country? If it wasn’t for sex, you wouldn’t be here. As gross as it may be to think about your parents fucking, they did indeed fuck in order for you to show up here. My question is why is the sex so horrible in this game? The name of the fucking game is Grand Theft Auto. Grand Theft Fucking Auto people… when the name of the game is also a felony according to law, a little sex is probably the least of your concerns. Lets see; car jacking, no problem. Shooting at police officers, hey, who hasn’t done that? Drugs and alcohol, why not. Sex?? Oh my god, call a special session of Congress, we have to protect the children. Don’t you think the Democrats have better things to do, like maybe plan to take back DC in the future? Nah, screw 2008, lets worry about a little sexual pixilation in a video game.

Ever go through a dry time in your life when you’re just exhausted with everything? Well, I’m there. I think 90% of my problem is work although I’m not sure. Ah, who am I kidding? I’m definitely sure it’s work. I’m on day seven in a row right now. The only thing I can say is that the job is actually less stressful than my older job. There is a lot to it, and luckily I’m a very computer orientated person and I’ve been able to handle everything that’s been thrown my way. Of course if anything is wrong price wise… it’s really not my problem, because all I’m able to do is email it in to corporate and await the changes they send down. One of my biggest time consumers this last week has been our new bookkeeper. See, I don’t do books anymore, but unfortunately I wasn’t able to erase that portion of my job from my brain and now that the head bookkeeper is up in Northern Michigan on vacation and out of cell phone reach, I become the go to guy. Here’s the problem: The fill in bookkeeper was hired not too long ago and she got a whopping 5 days of training before her first weekend she was alone. Then on her first weekend, our computers crashed and she wasn’t able to use any of the technology to do anything. Let’s just say that is a hard way to being your first couple times solo. The second time she was alone was the first day of vacation for the head bookkeeper. Since she didn’t really work a lot on Sunday or Monday before there were many extra things that had to be done on those days she hadn’t been trained for. This is the part where me wishing I could have forgotten how to do books would have come in handy. I did spend the better part of Sunday and Monday in the books office showing her things she didn’t get taught. Oh well, a much bigger paycheck for me… I smell overtime!

What else is going on? Oh, I have a beard. I was pretty much the clean cut shaven guy up until sometime around 1996 or so, and then I grew a goatee. I had the goatee until about last weekend or so. I decided that since I had a few days off in a row I’d see how much I could grow in those few days. Well, I got quite a bit of facial hair going quickly and then on Sunday the 3rd I went to the beach and played football and Frisbee in the water and got a little tanned. Let’s examine the situation here. If my face is now tan and I shave off what I’ve grown, I’ll have white streaks down the side of my face… shit, I’m stuck with this for a while now. I had two of the women at work tell me they like it… unfortunately it’s the older married women.

I am still feverishly working on the 3rd Bass site trying to get it done. It’s almost gotten to the point where it feels too much like work and not like fun. Like I said earlier, I’m pretty sure most of this is work related. Give me a day off and I’ll most likely have most of the site thrown together. Actually, the biggest hold up is trying to get the menu and the flash banner looking like I want it too. Once that is done, the rest of the site should be smooth sailing. I’m thinking if I don’t get it finished by Wednesday I’ll probably upload the old site up there and then it will take a little of the pressure off.

It’s been a little while, and yes, I’ve been rather busy. Well first things first, school is done except for the two finals that I need to take before July 8th. Once those are done then I guess I’m officially educated and I will need to take a next step somewhere. Where that is I don’t know yet. Why haven’t I taken them yet you’re asking? Well…

My backup quit at work, Friday was her last day so I kind of took an impromptu vacation day and another day off to make up for it. I was off Wednesday and Friday this last week. I worked Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Technically I should have taken my finals on Wednesday, but I had some odd stuff to do around the house. Then of course, Wednesday night was a fun one. Since Monday night or maybe it was Tuesday, they were predicting nasty severe weather for Wednesday. When the severe weather expert on the Weather Channel says they are expecting a major severe weather outbreak with a great chance of tornadoes, you think… damn. Anyway I was kind of tired and I was supposed to work on Thursday so I wanted to get to bed early, but like always, the storms didn’t really start up until almost bed time. I watched many tornado warnings over in Minnesota and then between 9 and 10 they really died off and there were just severe thunderstorm warnings going on. Well I was dead ass tired so I ended up nodding off around 10:30 and then I woke up around 11:30. About that time they said our county was under a severe thunderstorm warning. About that time I decided to move from the couch to the bed because I figured it was not really a big deal. Of course I didn’t make it to the bed before the lightning and thunder almost became a non stop sound. The wind picked up slightly and it rained a little bit. Six minutes into it I figured that it was almost over and then this fucking wind hit up.

So I’m standing somewhere between my bed and my couch. About 12 feet in front of me is my open window and all I hear is extremely loud roaring wind, loud snap, crackle and popping minus the Rice Krispies outside my window. That and the fact that rain shot in my window roughly 10 feet soaking my carpet and couch and anything else unlucky enough to be in the way. The storm siren got set off too, unfortunately about a half hour after everything came crashing down in town.

When everything calmed down I open up the front door and I notice that a good portion of the tree is now laying in the driveway and the yard. The gutter is also partially missing. Fucking summer.