Harry Potter Mania
So I’m watching the news and I see that the new Harry Potter book comes out on Saturday. But of course since everyone in the world that gives a shit about it is a Harry Potter freak, it will be released at 12:01am on Saturday. The news however has focused on the security surrounding the release of the book. How the fuck does the release of a book get better security than our government gives? These books are more heavily guarded than our nation’s capital for Christ’s sake. Here the government was going to cut transportation security and a book is being guarded like it’s the Pope or the President. Maybe we should hire J.K. Rowling’s people to provide security for our country. At least they mean business.
INXS
Why? Look, I wasn’t the biggest fan of INXS back when I was in school, but I liked them enough to buy one of their albums. I bought Kick back in the day because there were enough songs on the album for me to justify buying it. I can’t even think of the words to describe the stupidity of the thought of a reality show that is going to name the new lead singer of the band. First off, why the hell did a record studio sign the band to a record deal in the first place? Now we are supposed to help find you a replacement lead singer? Why the fuck do the fans have to do all the work? Wait, who am I kidding, you haven’t had any fans since your old lead singer was doing his impersonation of a ceiling fan pull chain. In honor of Michael Hutchence wouldn’t you think you should just not record any more albums? I would think the fans wouldn’t really appreciate it that much. The only band I can remember that fared somewhat well with a replacement after the death of their lead singer was Van Halen with Sammy Hagar replacing David Lee Roth. Oh wait a minute, Roth didn’t die, his career did. Much thanks goes out to CBS for putting this shit on television. In fact I just had a brilliant idea… I’m going to call up FOX and see if I can pitch the idea of a reality show to them to find the new lead singer of Nirvana. FOX likes to steal other networks reality shows and make it like they are their own. Of course nothing else would bring the Starbucks junkies out in full force like desecrating the memory of Curt Cobain… not that Courtney Love hasn’t done enough of that already. Next up on my list on ABC… the new 2Pac.
A Nice Cup of Hot Coffee
So I’m reading that Joseph Lieberman and Hilary Clinton are upset that there is some sort of sex scene in the PC version of Grand Theft Auto. I don’t really picture either of these two sitting around playing the video game and finding the scenes, so the only logical explanation I have is that Bill found it. Honestly, if there’s someone that can find even a picture of a naked chick on her knees… it’s Bill. Anyway, all I’m hearing in the brief parts I saw on TV and read on the internet were how horrible it was to have these sexual images in the game. Why are we so uptight about sex in this country? If it wasn’t for sex, you wouldn’t be here. As gross as it may be to think about your parents fucking, they did indeed fuck in order for you to show up here. My question is why is the sex so horrible in this game? The name of the fucking game is Grand Theft Auto. Grand Theft Fucking Auto people… when the name of the game is also a felony according to law, a little sex is probably the least of your concerns. Lets see; car jacking, no problem. Shooting at police officers, hey, who hasn’t done that? Drugs and alcohol, why not. Sex?? Oh my god, call a special session of Congress, we have to protect the children. Don’t you think the Democrats have better things to do, like maybe plan to take back DC in the future? Nah, screw 2008, lets worry about a little sexual pixilation in a video game.