Category: Uncategorized

I’ve seen some stupid things in my days of retail, but this is stupid to the 9th degree. First off, the product itself… why the fuck do you want your nether region to smell like a lavender blossom, or aloe or chamomile? What woman is seeking this item out? Do you think you will be fooling everyone when you are in the office and one of your co-workers in the next cubical leans over and says… you know Jenny, I think someone has some flowers in here, because I swear, I smell lavender blossom.

Ok, no guy is going to say that because I don’t think they’ve ever smelled lavender blossom before; I know I haven’t. And ladies, what about when you venture outside into the nice summer weather? Do you think that having the smell of fresh spring flowers radiating from your crotch isn’t going to attract a few bees looking to pollinate? I think it will. Then you will get stung in your hoo hoo dilly and whose fault is it going to be? Certainly not mine. I know, it will be Kotex’s fault.

Part two of the stupidity of this. I ripped this little paper off my shelf today, but don’t worry, there are plenty more of them up there. Read closely kids, because if you notice it’s a fucking scratch and sniff. Won’t you be the hit of summer school with your scratch and sniff Lightdays paper?

Of course, to top it all off; I don’t even carry this product on my fucking shelves. That’s right, there is advertising for flowery crotch coverings in my aisle and I don’t even carry the god damn things. How’s that for a fucking Monday?

Tomorrow is inventory time again. We only do it three times a year but it is still a slight pain in the ass. In my department I run a perpetual inventory so I can usually complete my entire department in roughly three hours. All of my open stock is in totes and anything that is in a tote is already counted on the running inventory sheets so that is just a copy there, then all I have to do is make sure my credits are done and count any miscellaneous bullshit laying around. So, tomorrow is the big day, but I’ve already got to be there for the bookkeeping. I will just have to work a little extra tomorrow to make sure that I’m good to go. Hate when I get those extra hours.

I have a question that I am sure I have posed here before, but I must bring up the topic once again. What in the hell is wrong with people that use AOL thinking that they have to use ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME AND ALWAYS PUT A LOT OF !!!! AND ??? IN THE DAMN SENTANCE. Oops, I actually used a period in that sentence, shouldn’t have because they are punctuation challenged as well. Of course I’m talking about my two welfare Wal Mart supporters that have emailed me in the past whining about how unfair it is that I pick on the retail giant (funny, my name is David).
So anyway, these idiots never reply to anything I’ve ever said and I’ve finally figured it out. I didn’t put it in their language. What I’ve been trying to convey to these idiots is this: You can tell me whatever you want to and I don’t really care. In fact if you could construct a sentence like a normal human being I might actually consider putting your rebuttal on my site. However since you are obviously a retard I am unable to communicate with you on your 4th Grade reading level. Arguing my points with stupid one line emails is nothing, then when I reply to you and you avoid me like the Olsen Twins at a buffet it just shows me how lame you really are.

Of course you can’t understand what I just said so thanks to this website I can communicate to you in your native tongue. Enjoy.

U CAN T3L MA WUT U WANT 2 AND I DONT RILLY CAER!!111 WTF LOL IN FACT IF U CUD CONSTRUCT A SENTANC3 LIEK A NORMAL HUMAN BNG I MIGHT ACTUALY CONSIEDR PUTNG UR R3BUTAL ON MAH SIET1!!! HOW3VER SINCE U R OBVIOUSLY A RETARD IM UNABLE 2 COMUNICAET WIT U ON UR 4TH GRAED R3ADNG L3VEL!11! LOL ARGUNG MAH POINTS WIT STUPID ONA LIEN EMALES IS NOTHNG TH3N WHAN I REPLY 2 U AND U AVOID M3 LIEK DA OLSEN TWINS AT A BUFAT IT JUST SHOWS ME HOW LME U RILLY AER!!!1 OMG WTF LOL

It just dawned on me that we have already hit month seven in our twelve month span of the year 2004. That sucks. I’m not too excited about time flying by this fast, especially when I’m not having that much fun. I haven’t put the air conditioners in the house yet either, and I think there was really only one day I could have used them. I rent a downstairs apartment and it is half underground so therefore I really don’t suffer tremendously when it gets extremely hot out. It isn’t the most comfortable but with the windows closed and the ceiling fans on it’s tolerable. Speaking of which, the heat and humidity is coming soon and apparently for a while. Hopefully it will stay nice and warm through the 17th, which is when I’m going back to the Dells and hitting Noah’s Ark. Mental note: bring sunscreen and apply liberally to my HEAD…

My other hobby when not picking the dead skin off my sun burnt head is working on my page. I currently have 15 documents I am working on for my site. I have them for every section of the site except for the personal & pictures sections. No revealing of topics to be discussed and I probably won’t add any to the site until I have at least five of them done. If I can garner anymore hate mail I might have to put up a feedback section with the wonderful emails I get back from my adoring idiots on AOL.

Today was my day off in case I didn’t rub that in to anyone. Yes, I enjoyed a nice long four day weekend off over the 4th of July holiday weekend, came back to work on Tuesday, then took Wednesday off. Of course now I won’t get another day off until either next Monday or Friday, and either one of those is good for me. Monday would give me a nice break in the middle of my “work week” and Friday would give me yet another long weekend… decisions, decisions. I think tonight I’m going to get off the computer earlier than normal and just relax and watch some meaningless television… you know, CNN.

Ahhh, it’s the 4th of July once again. There is nothing better to do today then eat until you can’t move; drink until you can’t walk; then light highly explosive fireworks and try to get out of the way. Yes, Independence Day. Remember today you are independent; unless you count all of those bill collectors that keep calling you up every two days trying to get their damn money from you. That and those bastards at work seem to think you should keep showing up. If you were independent you wouldn’t have to put up with that shit now would you?

So far into my 4 day weekend I haven’t done much of anything; and it’s been wonderful. Get up when I want to, go to bed when I want to, and not have to be anywhere at any certain time. That’s fucking living. Did I mention that I had a 4 day weekend? Well I do, although it is half over already. Friday I went and saw Spiderman 2. That was a pretty damn good movie I must say. There were really no disappointing parts of the movie that I remember. The only question I really have; which I’ve had since the first movie is this. If he was bitten by a spider and then mutated to get spider like qualities… Why do the webs shoot out of his wrists? Shouldn’t they shoot out of his ass area? In the comic books he made his own web material so it was never a question then, but in the movie he mutated to shoot his own webs. I suppose it would be hard to websling if you were shooting them out of your ass.

My fan club is expanding even more as I speak. I have had my second idiotic email from a person with an AOL address. What does AOL stand for anyway? Assholes On Line? I’ve had two people email me, presumably about my Wal Mart ranting to tell me off. Of course the first was a guy that said “YOU DONT WORK THERE RIGHT? SO IF YOU DONT GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Oooh, good argument there dude. I’ve already responded to that douche bag so I won’t further twist the knife into his ego; but last night I got my second email from one of these degenerates with the AOL address. The second one said “well crack kills as well get off it” Wow, these AOL losers really know how to argue don’t they? I’m assuming that she mistook my email address for the Mary Kate Olsen fan club email address or something. I’m pretty sure that this was another response to my Wal Mart rant on my page. Now I know that you got your free AOL trial disc at Wal Mart because after you bought your herpes cream and pregnancy test you were out of money and couldn’t afford anything else, but that doesn’t mean you have to defend Wal Mart to me.

Hell, I have said it before, I shop there on occasions. Let me point something out to you girl. First off, I highly doubt you are the cats meow, more of something the cat left in the sand. Second, if you feel the need to pick up a cause, maybe choose something a little more happening then defending a multi million dollar company against a guy that pays $50 a year for his little web site. Go into politics or religion or something of that sort, but don’t waste your obvious brainpower on defending Wal Mart against people you think are on crack. You poor disillusioned girl; must be all that LSD you do.

So I’m out fishing today and I know I’ve bitched about this before but it happened again. We’re out fishing and all of the sudden there are a shitload of people around us. There was a grandpa and his grandson (a fucking four year old grandson) and then some Mexican lady who had a pole but wasn’t exactly fishing. No idea what was going on there. Then there was some guy that was down there on his bike… and they were all like within 5 feet of us; if not closer. I eventually got pissed off enough to just go for a walk down the shore and try other places. It’s like hey fuckers, we were there first and there is plenty of places to try and fish you rat bastards. So I stroll down the shore and I’m casting here and there. Of course nothing big is biting but it’s not bad catching the small ones either. It’s like going to the titty bar; they’re nothing you’d want to take home but they’re fun to play with.

Shit, only one day left and then June is over with and July starts. Good thing July starts tomorrow otherwise we’d all be confused. Um, it’s not June but July isn’t here yet… damn, do I still have to work? Anyway there is only one day left for me to work too. I haven’t had a day off since last Tuesday the 22nd. It has been one hell of a pain in the ass week too. I was supposed to work today until 1 but I didn’t get out of there until 2, meaning that I will have to cut an hour off of there tomorrow. Damn, guess I won’t be able to work until 5 tomorrow, I’ll have to cut out an hour early; and right before my big 4 day weekend. Boy do I hate when that happens; but what can I do?

I still don’t know exactly what I’m going to do this weekend. I do know that Friday I will be watching Spiderman 2, but beyond that I’m not too clear yet. I’ve had a few invitations to do some stuff, but I’m not sure if I really want to. I would really like to just stay home and be left the fuck alone although no one can really grasp that concept I guess.

It’s possible that the longer I go without a day off the more irritated I get; then again maybe everyone out there is a stupid fucker too. I’m driving around tonight and I see this little skinny fucking kid. I say kid because he was too young to drive and he was too old to be in diapers, so somewhere in between there. Anyway, I see this skinny fucking kid walking down Main Street without a shirt on and his underwear sticking at least three inches over the top of his pants. What the fuck is that about? I know the rappers are doing it, but guess what Chachi; you’re not a rapper. In fact, you’re not even cool. You’re a little wannabe freak and everyone’s laughing their asses off at you. You suck.

These fuckers that are blowing their fireworks off for the last few days are starting to piss me off too. It’s not even July yet you retards. Oooh, look, we’ve got all these explosives laying around and the 4th is still a week away. Let’s blow some shit up tonight. Yeah, let’s blow shit up while the rest of the neighborhood is trying to sleep. There’s a really good idea; wake up and piss off the tired cranky people of the neighborhood. It’s time for those of us who actually fucking work for a living and therefore need the sleep to rise up and take these no job firework blowing off motherfuckers out. You wanna play with bottle rockets, let’s see how you like one shoved up your ass. If the cops are going to show up, might as well make it worth their while.

Had a lady in the store yesterday wanting to return a blood pressure kit. Did she have a receipt you ask? Of course she didn’t. Why would she keep a receipt for something she paid $50 for? The guy returning the dishtowel had his receipt, but then again, he also had a brain. So to make a long story short; lady doesn’t get her money back and instead gets pissed off. Too bad, how sad; fuck her.

You know I’ve always known the company I work for had an intellect somewhere near the capacity of a retarded person, but recently they’ve shown me that with time you can even make Jessica Simpson look intelligent.

Ok, quick briefing in Wisconsin here. Private label aside, we have 3 brands of potato chips in our market. Frito Lay, which is the leader of course. Old Dutch which is the strong second and Barrel of Fun which is the distant third. I say distant third because I don’t want to make it sound bad by saying the only reason they are third is because there is no fourth; too late, I just did. Anyway my company decided that they would take a lucrative offer from Barrel of Fun folks and give them space in the store and remove the Old Dutch product. So we dropped the number two product from our store and put in the number three. Dropped number two as in don’t even sell it anymore. I could see if it was something that people never bought but we sold a shitload of it. Anyone I know that eats potato chips hates the BOF chips because they are horrible. If you were on Fear Factor and had to choose between the cow spleen and the BOF chips; well you’d probably eat the chips but you’d take a few seconds to make up your mind. That’s all I’m saying. The other part of this is the service level. These BOF people were not in our store for a reason. Much like their product, they sucked. The reps wouldn’t show up for a few weeks on end and they would always let the outdates pile up. They always had a shitload of outdates because they never sold the shit. They had close to a 50% return because their sales in our store were so low. Old Dutch never had that high of a stale rate, neither does Frito Lay. Why? Because their product doesn’t suck, and the people running the routes don’t suck… unlike BOF & my company.

When I got home last night there were some dark clouds hanging around so as usual I went and checked out the Weather Channel. According to them we were under a thunderstorm watch but everything that was heading our way looked like plain old rain. I turned on my computer then and kind of tracked it on weather.com and it was actually hitting southern Wisconsin instead of up north here where I am. One place that got hit rather hard was the Jellystone Park in Warrens Wisconsin. Shit, I’ve actually stayed in that park before a couple years ago on Labor Day weekend. I even blogged about it because when I was there we had a hell of a hail storm. September 3, 2002 was the day that wonderful shit like that went down. In fact, we were going to stay in Jellystone this past weekend but opted for the Dells instead. On the way back home from the Dells we got off of 94 and checked out the Jellystone park to see the progress of all the construction they are working on and to see if we would come back and camp there some other day. I wonder how long before they are back in business 100%. They said 70% of their new construction was damaged in some way.

Had I went to Warrens instead of the Dells this weekend my face probably wouldn’t be peeling so badly now. I got so burned in the Dells as I mentioned before, then Monday my face turned a nice golden brown and I thought “damn, got by easy on that one”. Now my face has decided to peel off in pieces making me look like some lame horror movie character from a cheesy 80’s B movie.

Hey, the good news is I only have seven more days left until I get another fucking day off. I can swing it I’m sure. I do however feel a slight illness setting up that may affect me on Monday afternoon. I think it’s called work fucking sucks-itis. Actually since I am off Friday/Saturday/Sunday/Monday over the 4th of July weekend I would be better suited to get my ill feelings on Thursday afternoon so I could get away even quicker. They will forget all about that shit come the following Tuesday when I get back to work. Now to go off and practice my sick voice and look.

I have been going fishing with my uncle the last week or so. I’m not an avid fisherman but I do enjoy it from time to time. I usually just fish for the bluegill or crappie or sunfish; the occassional confused bass that happens to take it.

I am not sure if fishing etiquite has changed or not but from what I remember of fishing in my youth it sure has. Today there were three boys fishing at the lake down the shore. They had huge lures; one most likely for muskie which there was no way in hell they were going to catch from where they were fishing. So they keep throwing the lures in and shit, slowly inching closer and closer to us. Now where we are fishing is in no way a secluded area. There are miles of open shoreline on this lake, with the only off limit spots where there are homes. We were probably somewhere in the middle of about a 2 or 3 mile stretch of open area; myself, my uncle and these three boys. Nonetheless they keep getting closer and closer. Soon they are roughly four feet from us, throwing their lines in amongst ours. We were using worms and bobbers and were catching some pan fish. Then one of them goes in between my uncle and me and starts casting. In between us, which we were only about five feet apart. Now since we are catching fish and this kid between us isn’t, he suddenly wants to use our worms. He keeps asking if he could use a worm. Finally my uncle told him no and he went away.

What the hell is the deal with that anyway? When I used to fish all the time I had respect for other people. These kids were not 5 year olds, they were at least 13. I never would have done that as a kid. Let me repeat that… I would HAVE NEVER done that as a kid; nor as an adult either. Kids seem to piss me off more and more lately. They are just lucky one of them fuckers didn’t end up going for an impromtu swim.

What a weekend. I do enjoy my three day weekends when I get them, but the hell of working 8 or 9 days in a row to get them really sucks. I went to Wisconsin Dells this weekend and got one hell of a sunburn on my face and neck. That isn’t what I went down there for, just happened to be a side effect. I went down there Friday and stayed overnight and was also there during the day on Saturday at Family Land Waterpark. Apparently when you apply sunscreen at a waterpark it um, washes off. I did not know this at the time I was walking around the park baking in the hot sun. I did realize it soon after on the car trip home when the breeze moved some of my hair and it really fucking hurt. I guess you could have called me a lobster because I was that red.
Went to a drive in movie down in the Dells. It was a double feature and we saw Garfield and the new Harry Potter movie. I’m not too into Harry Potter and this was actually the first Potter movie I had ever seen (at least the parts I didn’t sleep though). Of course I fell asleep, the damn movies got done somewhere around 1:30a.m. Garfield on the other hand was pretty good. Of course I used to be a big big Garfield fan when I was younger so I’m sure I’m a little biased. My next movie I want to see is going to be Spiderman 2. Only 9 days left to go on that one.

My VCR broke about a month ago and I have yet to replace it. It’s probably something I should replace but the only time I really ever use it is so I can record my South Park episodes; meaning I have to buy a new one before October… unless I get a DVD R or a TIVO. Hmmm, options are plentiful. Of course the price of those vs. a VCR at $45 makes me opt for the technology of yesteryear. Hey, at least it isn’t a betamax.

Hey, a mini vacation coming up for me. I am off on Friday this week and of course the weekend. Still not sure what I’m doing, but I don’t think I’m going to be sticking around here. I get to work Monday then, get Tuesday off and then my new hell week starts. I work Wednesday to Wednesday in the office which means a whole week of starting at 6:45 then I work Thursday in my own department. The payoff is that over the 4th of July I will be off Friday through Monday. That’s hella sweet if you ask me. A four day weekend and I don’t even have to waste any vacation hours on it. I still have two weeks of vacation I can use but I’m still trying to figure out where the hell to go this year.

I bought my second CD in a month yesterday. I bought Everlast’s CD White Trash Beautiful in the end of May, which is still in heavy rotation on my computer and in my car and yesterday I bought Beastie Boys new CD To the 5 Boroughs. This is their first all hip hop album since the old days of Licensed to Ill and Paul’s Boutique. I have only listened to the album probably two times total, but I can tell it’s already one hell of a work. It’s definately worth the 6 years the fans had to wait to hear the new stuff.

Damn it’s been a busy week. It’s only been five days since I posted last but it seems like forever. It seemed like it stormed every damn day last week, which kept me off the computer quite a bit. Saturday afternoon our power went out for no real reason. There is still no real reason as to why it went out, but from about 4:45 to 7:30 we were out of power. I ended up going fishing since there was nothing going on around here. When the power finally did come on I got on the computer and about 10 minutes later we were under a severe thunderstorm warning and I had to get off of here. I said screw it and went to bed then. It was my weekend to work anyway, so I guess an early bedtime was welcome. Sunday when I got home I got online and my computer tells me I have a trojan. Well that’s fucking wonderful news. So it’s turn off system restore and restart in safe mode and run the Norton. Once that was taken care of I was back in business, but I was pretty tired so I decided to go to bed.

I’ve been spending some time lately trying to get some new material for my page. I don’t have anything solid yet, but I do have a few things started already. No deadlines or anything, I’m just trying to take my time so I can get some solid stuff put out onto my site and hopefully breathe some new life into the page. You can only live on bitching about Wal Mart for so long. Besides, some people seem to get pissy when you bitch about Wal Mart. At least the little pussy cart boys that work there.

I’ve been working in a grocery store for over 10 years now; my current job a little over 8. When you work in places like that the first thing you notice is that there are some stupid ass customers out there. The second thing that you notice is that there are some weird ass products out there as well. Either the product is fucked up or the marketing behind the product is fucked up.
Case in point. I saw this on a Jack’s Naturally Rising Pizza; it’s probably on all frozen pizzas, I just didn’t look. There is a little starburst on them that says “good source of calcium”. What the fuck is so good about it? It’s pizza, it’s definitely not health food we’re talking about here. I like pizza but come on now, let’s get a little serious here. Pizza a good source of calcium? That’s like saying cigarettes are a good source of menthol. Hey, 100 proof liquor; good source of grain. See where I’m going here? If you are eating the pizza I’m sure the farthest thing from your mind is whoa, there’s calcium in here. Pizza, does a body good. Just think, you could eat a whole pizza every night for your calcium supplement and then hope it makes your bones stronger to hold up your new large pizza filled ass.

The second thing I’ve noticed was in my own department. Playtex Beyond. Beyond what? I don’t know much about tampons but I don’t think they can go much more beyond where they go now. This almost sounds like a bad movie sequel to me.

In 2000 Playtex set out to rid the world of ruined pants and heavy flows. After receiving many close calls and being badly beaten Playtex returned to the secret hideout and has underwent many improvements. Today Playtex is stronger, wiser and more absorbent than ever… See Playtex Beyond. Opening in theaters everywhere Friday.

Yeah, so I shouldn’t sit home alone when the power goes out, I know. Yeah, power went out last night after the wonderful holy shit electrical storm we had. Monday and Tuesday it was so damn hot and humid out that you could hardly stand it. Today it is so fucking cold; you can hardly stand it.