Friday the 13th. Scared yet?
This isn’t Crystal Lake and I don’t see Jason’s ugly ass anywhere nearby. In case you are a superstitious person, here are a few pointers for you. Two wrongs might not make a right, but two fucked up superstitions should cancel each other out. Since it is Friday the 13th, make sure you do something else that is superstitious. Whatever could that be do you ask? Walk under a ladder. Let a black cat cross in front of you. Break a fucking mirror. Don’t wipe your ass. You know what I’m saying. If you are honestly thinking that a Friday could possibly be bad, well you’re too fucked up for help anyway.
Any man who is afraid of Friday the 13th needs to face the real fear that is Saturday the 14th. Valentine’s is hours away, you had best get your shit together. Motherfuckers were in the stores in droves today buying flowers, candy and whatever other trivial things that they could pass off as love to their mates. When do a dozen roses become played out anyway? It seems to me that if you pay $29.99 for 12 flowers that are going to die every year, it just becomes the thing to do and not really a sentiment of love. It’s like flushing the toilet after you take a shit or turning the light on when you walk in a room, just a common thing. And where is all of this love coming from anyway? If all I do for you is buy you a dozen roses on Valentine’s then what do I do the rest of the year? Damn you Hallmark.
What is with this controversy with the Mel Gibson picture Passion that is coming out? Newsweek magazine on their front cover has the caption ‘Who Really Killed Jesus?” They haven’t even figured out who killed JFK yet, and that was only 40 years ago, good luck figuring this one out. I can just see that CSI episode during sweeps week. CSI: The Jesus Christ Files. Well, I guess if anyone can get to the bottom of this, it would be them.