Have I mentioned how much I love to shovel snow lately? No? Probably because I fucking hate shoveling snow. They showed a lovely graphic on the news this morning showing how we have had only three snow free days since January 20th or so. What a bunch of bullshit this is getting to be. I see that we are going to get some slight warming next week. We are in the time of year where whenever the sun pokes out, it melts a little of this shit. I can’t wait until it gets sloppy and slushy out, then I can sell some windshield wash at work.
Hey, only two more days until Valentines Day. I see all the people lining up already buying all of their shit for their sweethearts. It is going to be fucking crazy tomorrow, and I’m really glad I won’t be there on Saturday. I see all of these people buying cards, and I wonder how do you pick out a good card anyway? Here are a few of my favorites, which might explain why I was never offered that position at Hallmark.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Here are some flowers,
When do we screw?
Here’s to you,
Here’s to your health,
Wait, I don’t even like you,
Go fuck yourself
Tingly’s how I feel when you’re near,
Remember that night when we drank all the beer
It was a bad idea now I can see,
And for some reason now it burns when I pee.