Once again it has snowed. We’ve received about 4 inches already but there is apparently more on the way. Once again this snow was the thick heavy shit that I love oh so much. My only salvation was my John Deere snowblower. That sunofabitch made short work of all that snow out in the driveway. Nothing feels better than watching your neighbors outside breaking their backs shoveling while you are trimming your driveway like a hot knife through butter. Besides, that neighbor lady is pregnant, she shouldn’t be shoveling anyway.
I see there is a new bill going through Congress to try and limit some of this spam we get. I wish they would do that already. I can only imagine what it would be like not getting an offer to view the Paris Hilton sex tape every two days. I can’t even count how many times I’ve been offered a 3″ extension on my penis. Let’s just say I’ve been offered it so many times that if I would have taken them up on half of the offers you could jump rope with the sunofabitch… at least until I got excited.
Speaking of my friends in the Government, I was reading that the Secret Service were going to investigate Eminem. That was yesterday and now they have decided that he isn’t a threat to George. All he said was Fuck money/ I don’t rap for dead presidents/ I’d rather see the president dead/ It’s never been said, but I set precedents. Why in the hell would that be taken as a threat? Well I guess it isn’t very well known, but John Wilkes Booth had just finished cutting a record about killing the president shortly before he shot and killed Abe Lincoln. It’s also not well known that Lee Harvey Oswald had an underground recording about shooting the president which was circulating a week or two prior to JFK’s death. Maybe there is a connection here. I’m just waiting for the retaliation dis to come from George Bush. Someone get the president a microphone so he can bust a rap on Eminem. Maybe he can get Benzino to make a guest appearance. This should be good.