Michael Jackson has Mad Cow Syndrome

Another weekend has started. This one is a little quieter than last weekend but still not uneventful. Holy shit yesterday was busy at the store. Aren’t you people supposed to sit your asses at home and relax? Enjoy the damn holiday already and stay the hell away. Most of you people should be in Walmart bugging those people instead of out grocery shopping. What the hell could you possibly want from the grocery store anyway, tainted meat?

As an Atkins person I’ve been checking into this whole mad cow thing pretty regularly. I see the latest claim is that the cow more than likely came from Canada. That figures, Canada always sends horrible things at us. First Celine Dion and now this. Does it never end Canada? Why is everyone so worried about this whole mad cow disease anyway? More people die every year because they don’t cook their meat enough and they get food poisoning from it.

I’ve noticed that Michael Jackson had an interview on 60 minutes that will show tomorrow. On it he says “Before I would hurt a child, I would slit my wrists.” Bradley asked Jackson whether he thought that under the circumstances, it was still acceptable to sleep with children and Jackson answered, “Of course. Why not? If you’re going to be a pedophile, if you’re going to be Jack the Ripper, if you’re going to be a murderer, it’s not a good idea. That I am not.” Um, I can’t even begin to respond to that. I think the only hope Michael has to avoid going to prison is to once again become black and hide out in Compton or something. His chances would be better than in the real world.