I’m at work today just trying to do my job so that I can get done and go home and enjoy eight days off in a row. Yes, I said eight, go ahead and count them; you’ll need both hands unless you’re some deformed freak. I’m working away and some woman I’ve never seen comes in carrying a bag and clipboard and I think wonderful, some retard is going to try and sell me something. Well, she wasn’t here to sell, she was here to re-sticker. For a while now Listerine has been putting on their bottles of mouthwash that Listerine is clinically proven as effective as floss. Then at the bottom in minuscule lettering it says Floss Daily. Well apparently, the people over at the floss factory were a little bit pissed off about all of this and they decided to put the boots to Listerine because the lady came in today to re-sticker all of the bottles that were making this claim. Now the new stickers tell people that Listerine is effective at reducing plaque and gingivitis… no more mention of floss in there.
Actually, they were court ordered to re-sticker all of these products because a judge decided that using Listerine is not the same as flossing. Why did a judge decide that Listerine was in the wrong? Because Johnson & Johnson sued them because they felt it might hurt the sales of their Reach Floss. So, see, I was fucking right. I tell you what Listerine, if you really want to do some false advertising; why not just do an ad like this? Use Listerine daily for a month and your penis will grow. I guarantee that men will use your product a minimum of 12 times a day if not more. Hell, some guys would probably be going through a bottle or two a day. By the time those assholes at Viagra sued you you’d be rich already… hey wait a minute, you’re both owned by Pfizer anyway, maybe you could do a cross promotion. I can’t wait to cut in Big Dick Listerine into my oral care section.
Ah, like I mentioned before, I’ve got eight days off in a row. In a fucking row. How great is that? You know what, I’m going to do a bunch of shit around here and try to play catch up. I’m not going to fuck around with my web sites, I’m not going to veg out in front of the computer or any of that lame ass shit. I want to go to the tech school and check out a few different classes that are going to be starting this fall so I can see what options I have, and I also want to check out a couple of jobs as well to see what else I can do since I hate my job so bad. It should be a fun week. Scratch that, a fun eight days.