Ricin Krispies, WMD & a Breast

It’s been a few days since I’ve posted here. The hazardous materials unit had just left after checking my mail for Ricin. What in the fuck is that all about anyway? Here I thought they said people were being sent poisonous Rice Krispies in the mail. Boy do I feel like a dumbass now. Here I had hazmat out here because of a free sample of Rice Krispies in my mail. Damn you Kellogg’s. Hey, which one of you Hazmat assholes stole my Penthouse?

Did you see it a couple days ago? It popped out for just a few moments, saw its shadow and made a hasty retreat. No, not Punxsutawney Phil, I’m talking about Janet Jackson’s breast. I guess I’m not really seeing what all of the hooplah was about. (I do believe this is the first time I’ve ever used the word hooplah; well, twice now.) I guess maybe I’ve been desensitized to this a little too much. Hey, she’s 37 years old, just be happy it wasn’t a saggy wrinkly breast. That would have been atrocious. You have to realize that she is a Jackson and this isn’t even considered controversial to that family. The most atrocious thing that she did at the Superbowl was share the stage with that piece of shit Justin Timberlake.

In reality there are many more things to be offended by than some woman’s breast, which the nipple is covered up by a damn pasty or piercing. CBS is saying that they weren’t aware that this was going to happen. In essence, Jackson lied to them. Well, now we have trouble. If there is one thing we don’t tolerate in this country, it’s a liar. If she continues to lie like this, she may become presidential. The government run FCC is now going to investigate this matter completely. Fines could reach into the millions by the time it is all said and done. I guess we need someone to fund our war efforts, and since we can’t find any WMD in Iraq we now have Weapons of Mass Distraction going on here. I guess if I turn on the TV and see Janet’s bare breast, that doesn’t offend me half as much as when I turn on the TV and see George Bush with that stupid little smirk on his face trying to cover up a lie with another lie. Exactly how many Americans have died in your personal vendetta in Iraq today? Justify it one more time for me, OK?