Month: February 2004

You know, I wasn’t even going to do a blog today, but dammit, I just had to. I don’t like to stick to an issue for too long, it tends to get a little boring, but sometimes stupidity overrules that decision and I have to make an exception. There is still all of this fallout from the Janet Jackson booby at the Superbowl thing going on here. You know, fuck the FCC and everyone else that is going to go after this which brings me to what I have to bitch about today.

Terri Carlin. You know, with a last name like Carlin, I kind of had higher hopes for you. Terri has decided to file a lawsuit in a U.S. District Court and asked that it become a class-action suit against singers Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake and broadcasters MTV, CBS and their parent company, Viacom. Carlin alleges that she and others who watched the halftime show during Sunday’s Super Bowl were injured by the performers’ actions when Timberlake ripped off part of Jackson’s costume, exposing her breast. Carlin’s lawsuit seeks billions of dollars in compensatory and punitive damages. Her Attorney for this also said that because the game is broadcast worldwide, that the actions harmed the “standing and credibility” of Americans throughout the world.

Number one, you say you were injured? How in the fuck were you injured? I guess I don’t quite understand this frivolous lawsuit. You’re a woman and I’m only guessing but I think you probably see breasts everyday when you are getting dressed in the morning? Is that offensive to you too? Don’t go off suing yourself or anything. Number two, who in the fuck appointed you to stand up and decide what is decent or not? If you are so offended by sexual conduct but you had no problems with all of the violence that surrounds a football game then maybe you should spend your money on a shrink instead of an attorney. Number three. This is the big one. The actions harmed the “standing and credibility” of Americans throughout the world???????

Have you been watching the fucking television lately? The President of the United States took us into a war where he pretty much told the United Nations to go fuck themselves and the entire basis of his war is now being found out to be lies and over-exaggerations and you think the showing of a boob for 1 second and Nelly dry humping some half naked bitches on stage harmed our credibility? We don’t have any credibility left. Swallow that with your fucking freedom fries.

Since we’re filing frivolous lawsuits, I think I should sue you for adding yet another stupid lawsuit to the American Justice System. It’s shit like this that destroys our credibility. Every time something happens that we don’t like, we think we should sue over it. Oh no, my ass got too big from eating fast food, better sue Mc Donald’s. Uh, my lung just collapsed from smoking too much, better sue Marlboro. The grocery store ran out of the ad item and I went all the way across town to buy some, better sue them. What happened wasn’t right, and it didn’t belong on prime time television. You’re right on that part, but here’s the kicker. You don’t deserve any money out of this. Well, maybe a quarter so you can buy a clue.

It’s been a few days since I’ve posted here. The hazardous materials unit had just left after checking my mail for Ricin. What in the fuck is that all about anyway? Here I thought they said people were being sent poisonous Rice Krispies in the mail. Boy do I feel like a dumbass now. Here I had hazmat out here because of a free sample of Rice Krispies in my mail. Damn you Kellogg’s. Hey, which one of you Hazmat assholes stole my Penthouse?

Did you see it a couple days ago? It popped out for just a few moments, saw its shadow and made a hasty retreat. No, not Punxsutawney Phil, I’m talking about Janet Jackson’s breast. I guess I’m not really seeing what all of the hooplah was about. (I do believe this is the first time I’ve ever used the word hooplah; well, twice now.) I guess maybe I’ve been desensitized to this a little too much. Hey, she’s 37 years old, just be happy it wasn’t a saggy wrinkly breast. That would have been atrocious. You have to realize that she is a Jackson and this isn’t even considered controversial to that family. The most atrocious thing that she did at the Superbowl was share the stage with that piece of shit Justin Timberlake.

In reality there are many more things to be offended by than some woman’s breast, which the nipple is covered up by a damn pasty or piercing. CBS is saying that they weren’t aware that this was going to happen. In essence, Jackson lied to them. Well, now we have trouble. If there is one thing we don’t tolerate in this country, it’s a liar. If she continues to lie like this, she may become presidential. The government run FCC is now going to investigate this matter completely. Fines could reach into the millions by the time it is all said and done. I guess we need someone to fund our war efforts, and since we can’t find any WMD in Iraq we now have Weapons of Mass Distraction going on here. I guess if I turn on the TV and see Janet’s bare breast, that doesn’t offend me half as much as when I turn on the TV and see George Bush with that stupid little smirk on his face trying to cover up a lie with another lie. Exactly how many Americans have died in your personal vendetta in Iraq today? Justify it one more time for me, OK?

Although no Weapons of Mass Destruction have been found in Iraq, and the likelihood of any being found dwindle every day; George Bush has found some Weapons of Mass Attraction during this year’s Super Bowl.

This is the breast seen around the world. Every day more of George’s lies are exposed just like Janet’s nipple pierced breast. Now that is obscene.

On a side note, fuck you groundhog.

Here we go again. Another Sunday night, and another winter storm warning. This is serious bullshit here. I would continue to bitch about the weather, but it obviously does no good. Hey groundhog… don’t fuck up tomorrow, got it?

I was reading that J-Ho and Ben are through finally. Damn, let me get a Kleenex to wipe my tears away. You know, after all of J-Ho’s other marriages and courtships, I thought she really had something this time. I don’t really track her, but I know she was fucking Puff Daddy, or P Diddy or whatever the hell he calls himself. That lasted until she had a good record deal going for her, then suddenly she was fucking and married to Chris Judd. He was just some dancer or some shit, so I think she must have just done too much blow that day. Of course, that didn’t last too long, and last I saw Chris was a star on one of those reality shows for washed up stars. Now she’s dating Ben. Why, apparently because he was such a tremendous movie star she thought she would ride his coat tails. Hell, Daredevil was one of the best movies of last year, right? (it’s called sarcasm) I guess if you compared Daredevil to Gigli, it was the best… of the two. So, the whole movie thing didn’t work out too well, and now this is also finished. I wonder who J-Ho will be fucking next. Any takers? Is it my turn yet?

Hey, it’s the Stupid Bowl tonight. I didn’t even turn the SOB on. I don’t give a shit about it this year, not the game, not the commercials, none of it. I did see yesterday that pizza delivery was at one of its all time highs today though. Good thing I wasn’t ordering pizza today. I get slightly pissed when it isn’t here in 30 minutes. Dominoes can usually make it here, but then who wants to eat that shit anyway? Pizza Hut seems to take an additional 20 minutes, and I don’t know whether the delivery boy is pulling over somewhere jacking it or what, but they are only 3 minutes farther away from my house than Dominoes… so explain that shit.

My good friends Fat Tony and Joey Fingers are going to be paying Punxsutawney Phil a little visit today.

Let’s get one thing clear here Groundhog. You will not see your shadow this year. If you do happen to see your shadow, it’ll be the last thing you ever see. Capisce?

Now get outta here, you’re buggin’ me.