Month: April 2004

It’s my weekend to work again, which means it really isn’t a fucking weekend is it? It’s a continuation of the week, because work has not ended yet. Of course the weekends aren’t too bad because I get to be locked in the office and not have to deal face to face with customers. I’m going to comp myself next week anyway, because I’m off my normal Wednesday and the weekend, but I also am taking off Friday. That’s right, three day weekend baby! What am I going to do on my three day weekend? I have no fucking clue yet, I guess I will decide on that when it gets here. In other news, the weather still sucks, although it looks to shape up slightly for my next day off, which if I haven’t mentioned is fucking Wednesday!

I have my site done and uploaded now. It now includes two duplicate sites, one with frames and the other without. It was rather easy to do because I still had the old site archived and just had to do a facelift with it to make it work out. The design is hopefully going to get changed in the near future, but of course that is something I will have to work on later. I’m just trying to think of a good color scheme to go with, as well as some new graphics too. Now that I have a portal page again I will have to start working on my flash abilities again so I can put something up there.

Today is my day off, and it is supposed to be a beautiful day out there. We are talking high temps in the mid 70’s and that warm southerly breeze, all that good shit. Then I make the mistake of looking at the extended forecast and find out that on Saturday it is going to snow. Ok now, Saturday is May 1st. I was always told while growing up that April showers brought May flowers, but nobody ever fucking told me what brought May snow. If I had known what it was, perhaps I could have prevented it. Unfortunately I was unable to and now we are going to suffer some snow over the weekend; in May. Somebody send me a ticket to someplace where it’s warm and it doesn’t snow.

Have you ever noticed that people that are concerned with animal rights are usually only concerned with the cute animals? You can kill as many mice as you want but club one baby seal and it’s on. Case in point is Ford’s overseas ads for their Sportka. They have this car doing evil things and then they say it’s the Ka’s Evil Twin. I’ve got both of the commercials on my hard drive for my viewing pleasure so I went out to the net to see who has seen these and if there are possibly more. As far as I can tell there are two different spots, both of which I have. The first is a bird sitting in a tree and it flies down and the hood pops open and kills the bird. Well, this was well recieved by people, most thought it was hilarious. The second has a orange tabby cat running around and the sunroof opens on the car so the cat jumps up there and sticks its head in and then the sunroof closes, kitty’s head comes off and the limp body slides down the car. People didn’t seem to like this one very well. Most of what I read was “I have a cat and that isn’t verry funny” and shit like that. Well you know what, I have a cat as well and I thought it was funny. I hope they continue with more ads like this. You know, if I was on that ad agency I would have the Ka approach a competitors vehicle from behind and go at it doggy style. Of course, maybe that’s why I don’t have a job at an ad agency.

Ok, it is my first day with my brand new high tech, state of the art GSM cellular phone. It has cool games on it like bowling and I can go online if I want with it, and I can even use my existing instant messengers. I’m told you can also call up and talk to other people on it as well, amazing shit this technology. I do have one complaint for my new phone in this ultra hi-tech world. Why can’t it just fucking ring? It doesn’t ring, it fucking sings, and I don’t need a phone that sings; I need one that fucking rings. I was out and about today and it ‘rang’, and I didn’t even notice it. I heard some odd melody playing and just thought it was some crappy music being played at the store I was in. It wasn’t until later that I looked at my phone and realized that I had one missed call. So I went through all the ring tones looking for one that possibly resembled an actual ringing of the phone. Well, of the 20 or so tones in my phone, a ring sound isn’t one of them. I can however have the Mexican Hat Dance or the Chicken Dance as my ring if I want, but of course, no ring. I guess if you want to know what my phone is, it is a Gameboy that was made smaller and had some phone capabilities stuck in with it.

In other news, I went out and bought a new pair of shoes. I have been putting that off for quite some time, even though my old ones look like a mouse got in them and took parts to build a nest somewhere. Funny how I can put off something like shoes but a new cell phone… sign me up! I didn’t go the fancy multi-colored tennis shoes this time around like I normally do either. I went for function today. Damn, I must be getting old. I never do that, grey hair check: SHIT.

Today I upgraded my cellular phone. They are rolling out new GSM phones in our area. I have no fucking clue what GSM means, but anytime you have a 3 letter acronym for something technological, it’s gotta be cool. So, I got myself a new phone and a new plan. The good thing is that this will save me some money, which I’m all for lately. I’m looking at roughly cutting about $5 to $10 a month off my bill. That I can live with. Unfortunately my current plan had been digital and in the last few days it was starting to show signs of problems. Call drop offs and unable to get a signal; shit like that. Well, apparently this was because this new system is so much better and they will give the new service priority on the towers. Well, since this is my primary phone, I can’t live with that shit. So, I have a new plan, new phone and can’t wait until tomorrow when I can put all my fucking numbers into the new phone again. There’s another advantage to the new phone. There is a chip in it that will hold all that shit, and when I switch phones down the road, in theory I will be able to switch the chip and not go through all this bullshit of re-entering my info again. In theory is the keyword here.

I am working on a new design for my site. Shocking isn’t it? Actually the design won’t be to much of a change, but what I am going to do is offer both a framed version that I have been using for a year or so, then I am going to also offer a non framed version for anyone still living in 1993 with a browser that doesn’t support frames or someone damned to Web TV. Hopefully it will all work out like I think it will in my mind. That is of course If I don’t spend too much time watching my movies. Tomorrow it is supposed to be real shitty weather (cold and rainy) so I will be damned to be indoors most of the day, unlike today.

Today I got to do some lawnwork. I didn’t have to mow yet, but I did rake up the leaves I seemingly missed last fall and got the yard ready for it’s first mow. I bought the oil for the lawnmower and I will be changing that, as well as putting on a new filter either tomorrow or Wednesday. Then I will be primed up and ready to go for mowing season. I can hardly contain my excitement

It’s Earth Day. What did you get for the Earth today? Nothing? You selfish bastards. Unlike some of the fanatics out there, I did not plant a tree or anything along those lines. I think that is so cliche to do. I decided to take Earth Day a little more personal and I figured that I would help out the planet by helping eliminate some extra methane gas from the atmosphere. That’s right, I didn’t fart today. Don’t laugh, sacrifices like this take preperation (possibly of the H variety when I finally let loose) and planning. I had to avoid all Mexican foods yesterday, spicy items and carbs of any kind. Thanks to my personal sacrifice the good people of Earth will be able to live an extra .0000435 seconds before the Earth explodes from methane emissions.

Ah, Friday is upon us finally. It has been a long week of sorts and I am looking forward to the weekend. Of course the weather is probably not going to cooporate but I guess I will live through it all. Of course it could always be worse. We could be getting snow, or even tornadoes. Since this is Wisconsin, both of those are possible in the same day.

It’s been a weird couple of days weather wise. Friday I got home from work and it was damn near 75 out, so I threw on my shorts and t-shirt and opened the windows up. Roughly and hour later it got chilly and I was freezing my ass off in the house, so I had to shut the windows and put some pants on.

Saturday was basically a repeat of Friday. Got home from work and it was really nice, and about an hour or so later it got cool and somewhat rainy. Saturday night was a real fun one. I had to be to work by 6:45 on Sunday so I needed to get to bed early, but that didn’t happen. I wasn’t quite tired yet, so I didn’t doze off until 9 or so. Around 11 I woke up to hear the lovely sound of hail hitting the house. In a half assed daze I turned on the TV and flipped over to the Weather Channel to see what was going on. It turned out to just be a run of the mill thunderstorm with some small hail in it. Since I was extremely tired I fell back asleep while watching the Weather Channel. Around 2:30 in the morning the warning sound woke me up from the Weather Channel. I woke up to see that we were under a severe thunderstorm warning until 3. I thought wonderful, 60mph winds and 2″ hail. We got hail, but luckily nothing as nasty as what was predicted. I think I finally fell back asleep somewhere around 3:30. My alarm went off at 5.

Sunday was supposed to be the hell day. They had been predicting severe storms with tornadoes ever since Wednesday and today was D-Day. I worked until a little after 1pm and when I got home I was totally exhausted so I lay on the couch and watched TV and dozed off until around 3:30 when the action started in Minnesota. Basically it started off really super with about 8 tornado warnings in Minnesota and then crossing over into Wisconsin, but it pretty much died down by the time it got to us around 8pm. We just got some heavy rain and some major lightning and thunder. Luckily I was able to get my ass to bed early and catch some sleep.

Of course the topper to all of this was when i got up this morning and looked outside and saw that the grass was green. What a wonderful site to see. Green grass means that my ass will be doing yardwork by the weekend. Sonofabitch.

I’ve had this site up in this form or another for roughly eight years. Most of my ramblings on the main site are gathered from the past eight years when I would write things down and post them, pre-blog. One of my rants was about Wal Mart. Now I’ve bitched about them in the blog and I even have a page in my gripes section called Wal Mart Sucks. In case you’ve never read it I basically just bitch a little because they don’t bother to sell any music with explicit lyrics in it, but they do sell R rated movies and guns and cigarettes and magazines that are somewhat questionable (read the cover of Cosmo and tell me how many times you count the word orgasm).

Well, last night I got an email from someone that doesn’t agree with me. Unfortunately for the person that emailed me, they have no ability to argue their case whatsoever. Here is the one lined email I received.

YOU DONT WORK THERE RIGHT? SO IF YOU DONT GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s it, that is all it said. Get a life huh?

First off, I’m not the one that is sending an email to someone I don’t know defending (can this be defined as defending even?) a company that is worth 100,000 times more than myself.

Second, I’m not on AOL and I don’t normally type in all caps, I usually leave that for the teenagers that don’t have a life. I guess I didn’t realize those kids that bring the carts in at Wal Mart had such strong opinions of their employer.

Am I to understand from this message that if I wanted to get a life that I should perhaps get a job at Wal Mart? Life sure would be grand if I worked at Wal Mart wouldn’t it? The only problem is that I would have to take a pay cut of probably more than half of what I am making now to work there. Perhaps then me and cart boy could form a strong friendship and he could teach me the way of the big WM. I would then delete my anti-Wal Mart pages off the net and we could all sing songs and rejoice in happiness.

Of course, if I want to go after this with the immaturity level that was brought then I guess I could say something like this: WHY DON’T YOU TAKE WAL MART’S DICK OUT OF YOUR ASS AND SHOVE IT BACK IN YOUR MOUTH SO YOU WILL SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (See, I can talk AOL Idiot too)

I spent the better part of my day off trying to fix someone’s computer. First off the damn thing is a Gateway. Anyone I’ve known that has had a Gateway hasn’t had too many kind words to say about it. Well, not only was it a Gateway that I had to contend with, this sonofabitch also had Windows ME on it. I don’t know if I’ve ever really bitched about ME on here or not, because I don’t remember how long ago I had it on my computer. I know that today was the first time I have seen a Kernal Error in anything since I had ME on my old computer (the Compaq). The computer that I am attempting to repair is about four years old and it has no balls anymore compared to today’s standards. The poor thing is completely bogged down with spyware and viruses and trojans which I think I removed about 90% of today. I’m hoping that tomorrow or possibly over the weekend I will find time to finish it off… I mean up. If not I can always go into the garage and grab my trusty sledgehammer and make short work of it.

During my long day of tech support I decided that I would get the fuck out of the house and hit the driving range for a while. It felt pretty good, although I will probably end up pretty sore tomorrow. Oh well, what can you do? I’m already somewhat sore from the weekend playing a little impromptu baseball and from Monday pulling boxes down from the overheads at work by my damn self. I guess that’s why I have some Arthicreme left over from my accident last summer. Just for moments like this. I always have my good friend Ibuprofen that I can call on in case the pain gets a little too intense. I highly doubt that it will be that bad.

At least the weather cooperated slightly today. It started out by raining some and then it dried up and the sun came out for a while. Not long enough to push us into the 70’s like the weather assholes had mentioned last night at 10, but into the 60’s at least. Now we are looking at some old fashioned thunderstorms to roll in on Sunday. Of course the weather dude is talking that these might be severe thunderstorms. First off, how the fuck would they know that on Wednesday? They can’t even get tomorrow’s temperature right for Christ’s sake. Second, they told me on Tuesday that it was going to storm on Friday, then on Wednesday they told me Sunday. Stupid bastards, eliminate another day of golf from my week.

Last week I was off on Wednesday and I had planned on going out to the driving range so I could hit a few golf balls. That never happened because it had to fucking rain (of course). Tomorrow though is a totally different story. It is going to be damn near 70 degrees tomorrow and beautiful. If that actually pans out then I will be out on the range hitting a few dozen golf balls and seeing how many swings it takes to feel the burn in my shoulders and back once again. Hey, it only hurts the first few weeks right?

I see that Jesus did indeed resurrect on Easter; at least at the movie theater. The Passion of the Christ rose to the number one spot again as all the religious people that are supposed to be celebrating his resurrection decided they wanted to go the the movies and watch him die all over again. Can’t you people just color eggs and eat chocolate like the rest of us?

I was looking through an old Enquirer or one of those trash mags at work and they had an article about the Passion and then next to it they had a contest and 100 lucky winners would get a necklace with the nail on it… you know the nail that they nailed Jesus up with. Who the hell would want that? I don’t see that as any testement of your faith. Hey look, I’m styling over here with my Jesus Nail necklace. Personally I think the cross itself is somewhat sadistic and I have never understood why the Christians looked upon the cross as a symbol of their religion. Jesus was nailed to a cross to die, the cross is no different than a gun or knife or electric chair. It was a means of death, nothing more. Everytime I drive by a church, there is a giant cross upon the top. If Jesus had been executed by a firing squad, would there be a gun on top of your church?

I guess all I’m trying to say is happy belated Easter, now eat your goddamn jelly beans and leave me alone.

You know, every once in a while I read a wonderful holiday story that just warms my heart and makes me realize that we are all on the same page. Well, not this time. I always thought that the church was supposed to teach love and things such as that. Apparently this church didn’t figure that out…

GLASSPORT, Pa. – First, the Passion of the Christ. Now, the torment of the Easter Bunny?
It may not have been as gruesome as Mel Gibson’s movie, but many parents and children got upset when a church trying to teach about Jesus’ crucifixion performed an Easter show with actors whipping the Easter bunny and breaking eggs.

People who attended Saturday’s show at Glassport’s memorial stadium quoted performers as saying, “There is no Easter bunny,” and described the show as being a demonstration of how Jesus was crucified.

Melissa Salzmann, who brought her 4-year-old son J.T., said the program was inappropriate for young children. “He was crying and asking me why the bunny was being whipped,” Salzmann said.
Patty Bickerton, the youth minister at Glassport Assembly of God, said the performance wasn’t meant to be offensive. Bickerton portrayed the Easter rabbit and said she tried to act with a tone of irreverence.

“The program was for all ages, not just the kids. We wanted to convey that Easter is not just about the Easter bunny, it is about Jesus Christ,” Bickerton said.

Performers broke eggs meant for an Easter egg hunt and also portrayed a drunken man and a self-mutilating woman, said Jennifer Norelli-Burke, another parent who saw the show in Glassport, a community about 10 miles southeast of Pittsburgh.

“It was very disturbing,” Norelli-Burke said. “I could not believe what I saw. It wasn’t anything I was expecting.”

Ok, I don’t even know If I have anything to add to this. Ok, yeah I do have one thing to add. What the fuck? Did it ever perhaps work into the minds of these halfwits at the church that maybe, just maybe a four year old doesn’t need to see this shit. If they were watching a violent cartoon or movie I’m sure the church might say something. I guess since it happened to Jesus then it’s just fine.

Some hardcore church people might say, well without Jesus there would be no Easter; and to that I say without the Easter Bunny there would be no chocolate eggs.

OK, I just read that J-Lo’s mom won 2.4 million dollars at the casino in Las Vegas. How in the hell does that work anyway? Her daughter is a “multi-talented” performer who has made millions of dollars and now her mom wins that much on a slot machine.

I guess I’ve been going about winning money all wrong here. I have devised a full proof plan now. I must have a daughter immediately. My daughter must become famous and controversial. She must sleep her way around and get married and divorced many times. She must become so succesful that good or bad, she is a household name. Once that all happens, then it’s off to Vegas for daddy. I’ll go pull the one arm bandits a couple times and wham… instant millionarre. Well, I can dream can’t I?

At least tomorrow I am off of work and plan on hitting the driving range. It is actually going to be semi decent outside. Of course it is supposed to snow now on the weekend, so there goes any chance of summer showing up. It should still be a great day tomorrow, considering no work and temps in the mid 60’s. I think a date with the driving range is just what I need to clear my head out… and throw my back out.

Damn, I totally missed April Fool’s day. Well, it’s not like I slept through it or something, I just forgot to do anything evil and mean to people. You know what the big joke was? It was me having to work at 6:45am on Sunday morning. You know Sunday, the morning we had turned the clocks ahead. The morning I lost an hour of sleep the night before. That Sunday. April Fool’s Day fucker.
It was another Hell week last week. As I mentioned I worked the whole weekend, but that wasn’t the worst of it. Thursday we had some people from corporate come in and they took down a 16′ display area out of our store to make it more open. I also had one of my endcaps shortened to match the aisle profile. I’d say they cut roughly 2′ off of it. That looks better now also, but I still had to take everything off of there and throw it into carts and then later when the endcap was back together reload everything back into it. Then I had my Saturday and Sunday fun in the office and then back to work today. I work tomorrow and then I’m off Wednesday.

I see Matrix Reloaded is coming out tomorrow. I was hoping there would be a trilogy released so I could buy the whole thing at once. I only own the original Matrix now; and that is on VHS. I guess I will have to buy each one seperately if I want them then.