Month: January 2005

You know, I’ve been off for a while now and greatly enjoying it. I haven’t really spent a lot of time online, haven’t been wasting away doing a whole lot of anything. I re-assembled a radial arm saw, cleaned a basement, visited some friends and went snow tubing. So this morning I wake up around 6am and I’m thinking how great it is that I don’t have to go to work again today. So I’m bored and want to fall back asleep so I figure I’ll flip on the news. I usually turn on KSTP 5 and check that out; see what’s happening around the Twin Cities and the world.

Apparently we were having a little bout of light snow today and they had to go out live to Jessica Miles to report on it. I was half asleep and didn’t have my glasses on, but they sent her outside somewhere with a microphone and a camera to tell us it’s snowing. That’s when it dawned on me… poor Jessica Miles. Whenever there is something going on they throw her out into the field to report on it. The bad thing is that the time that she is reporting on is from 5am to 7am. There’s really not a whole lot of shit going on at that time. If there was a big fire during the night, here’s Jessica standing outside of a charred building reporting. If it’s -40 out, here’s Jessica standing outside reporting trying to keep her eyeballs from freezing. If the Viking’s did something here’s Jessica standing outside of the empty Metrodome reporting. If there is an ice storm, here’s Jessica standing by the side of the road reporting on the slick conditions.

The point is that probably 90% of the time that she’s out in the field reporting, she could do it from behind the desk. She’s got a great smile and a good presentation but she keeps getting thrown out into the elements. I know she’s a good field reporter, but put her in the field when there’s actually something to report, not snow flurries we can see if we open our damn curtains!

Well, maybe I’m just over reacting. You know I haven’t been to work for a while so I’m kind of lacking on shit to bitch about. On the plus side, I got myself some new DVD’s that I’m going to have to go watch now. I re-joined Columbia House again so I could get some more movies free. I just got 7 DVD’s for under $4 a piece. Of course all that’s going to do is lower my online time even more now. I do have one thing I need to bitch about, maybe I will tomorrow. My lame ass service I get from my shitty cellular company: Dobson Cellular One and their new worthless as shit GSM service that they can shove up their ass as far as I’m concerned. In case you can’t tell, I’m not too happy with them.

I’m at work today just trying to do my job so that I can get done and go home and enjoy eight days off in a row. Yes, I said eight, go ahead and count them; you’ll need both hands unless you’re some deformed freak. I’m working away and some woman I’ve never seen comes in carrying a bag and clipboard and I think wonderful, some retard is going to try and sell me something. Well, she wasn’t here to sell, she was here to re-sticker. For a while now Listerine has been putting on their bottles of mouthwash that Listerine is clinically proven as effective as floss. Then at the bottom in minuscule lettering it says Floss Daily. Well apparently, the people over at the floss factory were a little bit pissed off about all of this and they decided to put the boots to Listerine because the lady came in today to re-sticker all of the bottles that were making this claim. Now the new stickers tell people that Listerine is effective at reducing plaque and gingivitis… no more mention of floss in there.

Actually, they were court ordered to re-sticker all of these products because a judge decided that using Listerine is not the same as flossing. Why did a judge decide that Listerine was in the wrong? Because Johnson & Johnson sued them because they felt it might hurt the sales of their Reach Floss. So, see, I was fucking right. I tell you what Listerine, if you really want to do some false advertising; why not just do an ad like this? Use Listerine daily for a month and your penis will grow. I guarantee that men will use your product a minimum of 12 times a day if not more. Hell, some guys would probably be going through a bottle or two a day. By the time those assholes at Viagra sued you you’d be rich already… hey wait a minute, you’re both owned by Pfizer anyway, maybe you could do a cross promotion. I can’t wait to cut in Big Dick Listerine into my oral care section.

Ah, like I mentioned before, I’ve got eight days off in a row. In a fucking row. How great is that? You know what, I’m going to do a bunch of shit around here and try to play catch up. I’m not going to fuck around with my web sites, I’m not going to veg out in front of the computer or any of that lame ass shit. I want to go to the tech school and check out a few different classes that are going to be starting this fall so I can see what options I have, and I also want to check out a couple of jobs as well to see what else I can do since I hate my job so bad. It should be a fun week. Scratch that, a fun eight days.

So I have a question here. Why the hell was all of that money wasted for the inauguration? Bush has been president for four years already, it’s not like it’s his first win. It cost somewhere in the neighborhood of 30 to 40 million dollars, not including security ($17.3 million.) Where’s that money coming from? I know some of it was private donations, but not all of it. Plus, the people and companies that donated this money for this waste of time are probably the same kind of people that wouldn’t donate a dime to anyone that actually needed it. Homeless or starving, too bad… fancy celebration for someone who has to do the same thing he’s done the last four years for another four… whip out the checkbook. My original point here was why in the hell are we even celebrating this? He’s already the president isn’t he? So between my tax dollars and private donations someone who already had the job is throwing a four day party and I’m not even fucking invited? Now that’s some bullshit.

Speaking of bullshit, did you know that Spongebob is gay? That’s what they were telling me on the news instead of looking into why the government wasted so much money on the inauguration.

From what I understand of this whole story, my good friends the hardcore Christians are upset over a video that was released by a non-profit organization to schools promoting tolerance to others and a message to respect others. Spongebob is hardly in the video more that a few seconds, and others are in there as well like Bob the Builder and Barney and Winnie the Pooh. So they decide to pick on Spongebob saying that he is promoting a homosexual agenda. So what we have here is a video going out to schools with all of these children’s favorite characters singing the song “We are Family” to promote tolerance and diversity. Well what kind of stupid asshole would want to promote that, well aside from that Jesus fellow?

So get this straight you Christian hardcore jerk offs. Spongebob Squarepants is not gay. He’s just stupid.

A while ago I had mentioned that someone had bought up the disgruntledhuman.info site. That didn’t really bother me too much; the part that did bother me though was that all of the registry information was the same as mine. Well, after watching the domain for a while, it never became and actual website. Of course I’m not one to just let shit slide so I started checking around again trying to figure out what happened and I’ve found out that this happened to several people. In fact it happened to nearly 1,000,000 different .com domains. I still haven’t figured out the whole deal yet and I’m not sure who I should be emailing as of yet.

Another fun-fun day of work tomorrow and then I get a day off. I am sick of work again, but I am going to be taking off a few days starting up next week. A well deserved vacation as far as I’m concerned. I can’t wait until that shit is here. I just hope the weather cooperates with me because the last few days it has been hella cold. I know it’s not as bad as a tsunami, or an avalanche or a mudslide or tornadoes… but dammit, it’s been real cold. When you wake up and it’s in the -20’s before you factor in the wind chill, you know it’s going to be a cold ass day. Now I know I won’t be golfing when that week gets here, but I would like to not be freezing my ass off.

I’m playing around with my 3rd Bass page, hoping I can have it finished by tomorrow night. I am adding pictures back in, using a shitload that I captured from the video. Of course I’m playing around with it and I keep making little changes and obviously I’m never satisfied too long with a site. Well, hopefully I will be with the 3rd Bass site after tomorrow.

I don’t know why I’m really bitching about this since we don’t have a Blockbuster in our town, but I guess it just pissed me off. I’ve been watching the stupid commercial every time it comes on and it pisses me off. Ok, first off people, get this through your head. The no more late fees thing only applies if you are going to keep the movie for another day or two. If you keep the movie for an extra week then you buy the movie. Although it doesn’t say so on the site, I can guarantee you that you won’t be paying the going rate at Wal Mart or Best Buy. You will be paying the $29.99 MSRP rate. Then if you decide to bring it back after all of this within 30 days, they will give you your money back from your purchase but will charge a restocking fee. Well that’s great, as long as it’s not a late fee.

Now I’ve worked in a store with video for a long time and I’ve rented videos for a long time and I have one question. Why the hell do you people need more than two days to watch five hours worth of movies? It usually is nothing more than pure laziness on your parts that you can’t return the movies on time. Then when you go to rent something new and we remind you that you have an “Extended Rental” on your account, you go ballistic. You get all demanding and want to know which movie it was and of course you swear you brought that one back on time. Yeah, let’s see here, it was due back the 10th and you brought it back on the 15th. Yeah, nice try asshole.

So the whole point is shame on you Blockbuster for launching this misleading campaign making these idiot customers of yours think that you are really trying to do something to benefit them. I mean come on, seriously. A grace period on a video rental?

Well, with any luck my new monitor should be here tomorrow. Should being the operative word here. It is only 50 miles away from here and for whatever reason it wasn’t delivered today. My hope is that when I get home tomorrow after work that it is sitting here. Of course I’m so used to disappointment with this thing I wouldn’t doubt it doesn’t show up until Monday.

On Monday when I got home I found out that Dell finally got my new monitor into the shipping stage. Of course they didn’t bother to email me and tell me that until Tuesday, but like everyday since I ordered it I went to their site to check my status. Now I just have to wait and hope the people that are responsible for shipping it don’t fuck something up. As far as I can tell they are telling me it should be here by tomorrow, but I’m guessing Monday. Luckily it’s not the post office delivering it or it would be delayed another day for Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

I’ve been watching movies lately. I’ve watched a few of mine and then I’ve been renting as well. Off the top of my head I’ve watched The Village, Without a Paddle, Wicker Park, Surviving Christmas, Mystic River, Radio, Starsky & Hutch and I’m sure a few others. Oh shit, now that I’ve mentioned the movies I watched and since I have a forum to speak to the masses I guess I’m obligated to give my opinions on the movies. Fine, you’ve talked me into it. Oh, and if you haven’t seen the movies just be warned I don’t give a shit if I give out the ending or not, so if you’re a big puss that can’t stand reading what’s going to happen before it does then go surf for some porn then. Now, where were we?

The Village: This was a good movie. The way it was portrayed as a nail biter and shit of that nature really didn’t pan out. There were probably two parts in the whole movie that would get a response and one of them was when the blind girl fell into the big hole. So much for being a scary movie. Even Signs had more suspense that scared you than this one. I also looked at the movie in my opinion to represent religion. The people of the village make up something scary to prevent everyone in the town from going out of its boundaries; much like religion tries to. If you go outside the boundaries then something very bad will happen to you and people will die. Yep, sounds religious to me. Would I watch it again? Yes.

Without a Paddle: This was pretty funny. Basically four childhood friends make a pact that they are going to go in search of DB Cooper’s lost fortune. When one of the friends dies, the remaining three go on the adventure to find the treasure. I thought it was pretty funny, some of the gags I’ve seen before but all in all I think the movie pulled off what was intended of it… to make me laugh. Would I watch it again? Yes.

Wicker Park: Wow, what can I say about this movie? I liked the story; I thought it was good and all… I understand the director trying to go for a unique presentation and all, but I was totally fucking lost until there was only about 30 minutes left in it. I read the back and when I saw the commercials I thought it was going to be one of those either psycho movies or some spiritual haunting kind of shit, but um, it wasn’t. I knew that the guy had the love of his life and lost her, so when I see the guy in the restaurant with his fiancé I just assumed that she would be disappearing and then he starts thinking about this hot little reddish blonde haired girl and I wasn’t sure if it was flashbacks or just imagination. Once I got all of that shit cleared out and understood what the fuck was going on I liked it. Would I watch it again? Yes, in fact I probably will so I can actually understand the damn thing.

Surviving Christmas: You have to go into this one knowing that it has the shortest span from being in the theater to being on video. The shortest (like less than nine weeks.) As far as the movie goes, I did think it was funny, but unfortunately it just seemed to play out like a B movie to me. It was very predictable but I did watch it until the end. There were parts that I did laugh at and there were parts where I would watch knowing what would come up next. Let’s see, he’ll take Kelly Bundy to the park and the tree will be iced. I bet his girlfriend is either coming over to the house or she’s already sitting outside. Damn I’m good… too bad the movie wasn’t. Would I watch it again? No, once was enough.

Starsky & Hutch: Honestly, I’ve NEVER watched the original television series or ever caught it on reruns so I had no basis to compare this movie to. I just took it as another movie with Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller since I like most of the stuff they’ve been in. It had its comedy and quite a bit of it was predictable but still enjoyable. I would have to assume that the old farts in the end of the movie were the original actors from the TV show making the god awful cameo that original stars sometimes make hoping to spark a little bit of nostalgia. Anyway from everything I saw it was a pretty decent movie. Would I watch it again? Yes, hey it was better than Zoolander.

Mystic River: This movie was weird. I definitely liked it since it was kind of had the detective elements of movies like Se7en except I didn’t see Morgan Freeman in this one. I do have to say that either Tim Robbins has really let himself go or he was decked out for the part. I knew he was in the movie but I didn’t even recognize that as him until about a third of the way through the movie. All I could keep thinking about the Dave character was that he looked like Ron White on a bad day. I think this movie played out rather well although I still don’t know why the dude from Footloose had such a freaky ass wife and why he took her ass back in the end. Other than the last five minutes I thought the movie was kick ass. Would I watch it again? Yes.

Radio: This movie was pretty good; especially considering it was based on actual events. Sure they were spiced up for Hollywood, but it was based on a real person. Besides, you really can’t go wrong with a good retard movie; especially if you’re trying to get laid that night. Throw this or I Am Sam into your DVD player and she’ll cry herself into position. Back to the movie I guess; everyone gave pretty good performances although I thought it was kind of cheesy at the end how the people that didn’t like Radio suddenly took to him. I can see eventually but not because the football coach gave a speech in some barber shop. I guess that was the Hollywood effect. Would I watch it again? Yes.

So take that Siskel or Ebert, whichever one of you isn’t dead yet. Any schmuck with a keyboard can watch a movie and tell people what they think of it. How’d you fuckers get a job doing that? Some people slave away and all you do is watch a movie and point your thumb up or down depending on how good the popcorn was when you were watching. Well that’s all from the balcony… see you next week. Or whenever I feel like coming back.

Anytime I’m dry on a topic to talk about all I have to do is check out the news. The news never ceases to amaze me because it points out the stupidity of people to me. In the last few days I’ve been reading about this dumb guy who has decided to sue the lame ass reality television show Fear Factor. Actually I wouldn’t think he’s a dumb guy considering he’s a paralegal, but apparently that doesn’t mean anything anyway. So when I first see the story I’m thinking that maybe he got hurt by one of the stunts on the show or got sick from eating something on the show. Well, he did… sort of. From his chair at home watching TV they were eating rats and I guess he couldn’t take it. From what I’ve read he not only puked but his blood pressure went so high that he got lightheaded and banged his little head in the doorway and now wants $2.5 million for that.

Look jackass, I don’t even watch the show and I know that’s not how it works. If you want that much money, then like a street corner prostitute, you’ll have to put out. That’s right buddy, if you want the cash you’ll have to do all kinds of wacky crazy shit. Let’s see, first you’re going to have to lick as many cat’s assholes as you can. Oh and the catch is that all of these cats were fed fajitas from Taco Bell about five hours ago. Next up you’re going to have to attempt to get a blow job from a snapping turtle. Now if you’ve made it this far then you’re going to be in for a real treat. For the third and final stunt you’re going to have to sit down and watch every episode of The Anna Nichole show, especially the ones when she was fat. Did I mention that you will be watching it with Anna herself and she will be pausing it every two minutes to explain it to you. There will be a loaded gun on your left side and if you can make it through every episode with her without blowing either her brains or yours out then you win.

Yeah, so that’s probably why I don’t work for some crappy reality TV series. So anyway, this douche that is suing NBC over this stupidity is claiming that it’s not really about all of the money at all, he’s just trying to send a message. I’m guessing the message is that he needs new batteries in his TV remote… $2.5 million dollar batteries. Of course his greed is surely negated when he tells the news people that he won’t discuss anything unless it’s a paid-interview situation. Well, it’s obvious you’re not going for any money here Skippy.

And then I got some good news/bad news on the news too. The bad news is that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston split up. The good news is that Jennifer is single again. I’m sure that I don’t stand any chance of being her new man, but come on now. The poor girl just split from her husband, I’m sure she’s going to be needing rebound sex before she moves on; and I’m more than happy to offer my services. Go ahead Jen, give me a call.

I don’t think I mentioned it here, but I woke up on Christmas morning extremely early, somewhere in the 2am range and I got bored and got online. As I was online, I was checking out a few things and decided that since I got some money for Christmas then I was going buy myself a new monitor for my computer. A nice flat panel LCD monitor for my computer. Well, I looked around and I placed the order through Dell eventually because I decided that the price was right and then it would basically match my system. Well, that was almost two weeks ago, and the fucking thing is still not here. In fact, ever since I ordered it the ship date said January 6th, so I was cool with that even though if you look at the picture from which I ordered I do believe that it says, “Usually Ships Within 24 Hours.” So today I get an email telling me “Although we had anticipated being able to ship your order sooner, we are experiencing an unexpected delay with your order and will not be able to ship this order and any associated orders until on or before 01-13-2005.”

That’s it, no explanation except for a phone number that I could call and talk to someone there about my order although when I called there was nobody there. I will be calling from work tomorrow though because I’m very curious as to why in the hell it’s delayed. Had they emailed me and told me “hey, we buy our parts from Thailand and due to the devastation there we are experiencing delays” I’d have been fine with it, no problem I understand. I would even have accepted a “hey, Bob was building your monitor, sneezed into it and we had to start over”… you see I’m just trying to get an answer here. If I call and they say they are having problems with my account or some stupid shit that they could have contacted me about I’m going to be extremely pissed off. If it is going to be another week to wait then I’ll wait, but if they don’t have a definite time I’m just going to end up canceling the fucking thing.

Hell, I’ve been thinking about it and really what do I need a flat panel monitor for anyway? It’s not going to cook for me and it’s not going to blow me, so what’s the point? Besides, I’ve been spending less time on the computer lately. For whatever reason I’m really starting to get bored by it. I notice I’ll sit on the computer and I really don’t do a fucking thing; maybe chat with one or two people but unless I’m frantically working on a website, the net’s really starting to be a drag. Maybe it’s time to move on…

Hey, it’s finally here. I can finally throw away my crusty ass 2004 calendar and break out that fancy new 2005 model. Some people get a new car every year; me, I just go for the calendar. I would have to say my New Year’s Eve wasn’t as celebrative as everyone else’s. I ended up falling asleep around 10pm, but to my credit I did wake up at midnight. When I saw that all was still ok, then I went back to sleep and figured if the world didn’t end while I was sleeping then I wouldn’t be needed any further for the night. I remember back on Y2K days staying up late to see if the world was going to end or something and now that I’m older and wiser I’m thinking shit… if the world was really going to end, why in the fuck would I want to be up for that shit? Damn stupid young punks.

So I’m into the second day of my three day weekend and since I haven’t been at work since Friday I figured my bitching was probably over with for a few days… WRONG. There was a problem that I hadn’t anticipated though. The weather. Starting about 2 this afternoon it started snowing. I was glad about this because all night last night they were predicting that it would be raining and sleeting and that power lines were going to snap and all of that happy shit. They even went as far as to put us under an Ice Storm Warning. In 31 years I have never seen one of those issued for my area so I was paying some attention. Well, today they changed it to a Winter Storm Warning because they weren’t sure what was going to fall. Imagine that, weather people not quite sure what is going to happen… with the weather. So anyway like I said, it started snowing out and I was ecstatic. Then about two hours later I hear the sleet starting to hit the windows and I figure; well now we’re fucked. So far nothing has happened to bad and of course in true Wisconsin weather fashion the whole thing will be over in time for me to go to work again on Monday.

Ah, back to work, I can’t wait let me tell you. If there’s one thing I truly love it’s going back to work when I’m extremely behind. The last two weeks I have been stretched so fucking thin that I think I have put a total of 25 hours in my department in two weeks. So now I have close to a pallet of shippers sitting in the backroom that I will have to bust my ass next week to get out. I told the person that does the schedule that I need some time in my department because I’m falling behind and apparently she had no idea about that. So next week I get to work four days in there and hopefully it will all straighten out in the end.

I found out another wonderful possibility for my job. They are looking at doing a slight remodel in the store where they would be moving all of the shit around in the store. One whole side of my aisle they are looking at getting rid of and they want to put freezers there. When I asked where all of my shit would be going I was told that they didn’t know that part of it yet. Excuse me? You are telling me that all of this shit is going away but you don’t know where to? That’s a little bit hard for me to grasp. If it’s going to just disappear then tell me, but don’t bullshit me, I’m not that fucking stupid. So my current plan is to stick around until March 15th and then I will have accumulated 3 weeks of vacation; then I am free to leave, but not without my 3 weeks of pay.