Month: May 2006

Then buy this one. Also check out Ugly Duckling on the web at their official website HERE and their MySpace website HERE where you can listen to some of their stuff for free.

I’ve been listening to UD for 3 or 4 years now. I heard about them on a message board or possibly even from someone through my 3rd Bass website. I found and downloaded their song “I Did it Like This” and a couple others and then I went online and bought both of their current albums which were Fresh Mode and Journey to Anywhere at the time. When the third album dropped, I was actually shocked to find it in the store since I have had to buy all of their stuff online so far including this newest one. Anyway, I found Taste the Secret in Best Buy in Eau Claire and I bought it right away and listened to that a lot. This newest album Bang for the Buck is damn good and like I said, if you’re going to buy a new hip hop album, this is the one. However, if all you care about in your rap music is people saying fuck every 4 seconds and talking about bitches and shooting people and drug dealing, then this IS NOT for you, but this is…

This one’s going out to all you cats wearing retro jerseys with matching hats and too much jewelry; rockin’ that gangsta pop ringtone rap… watch out, you might get SMACKED!!

My local police as well as your local police are embarking on a wonderful mission today looking for horrible offenders that aren’t wearing their seatbelts. Apparently the police have solved all of the murders, stopped all the drug trafficking and arrested all the child predators and all they have left to do is make sure I’m wearing my seatbelt. Let’s get something straight first off, I do wear my seatbelt about 99.9% of the time when I’m driving and I do believe that seatbelts save lives; but, but… I don’t think it’s the job of the police to tell me to wear it. It isn’t even law that motorcyclists have to wear helmets in Wisconsin so why the hell should I be required by law to wear my seatbelt?

What’s next, are the police going to start kicking down doors when people are fucking and make sure they’re wearing their condoms? Maybe they could bust into a house around dinner time and make sure that the baby is secured in the high chair.

You know, the whole problem I have with this is that it’s fake. The police don’t care if you travel safely or not. If you’re driving erratically or drinking and driving then they care because you could hurt others, but if you hurt yourself they don’t give a shit. This is not about your safety; it’s nothing more than a fund raiser for your local police department. If I happen to get a ticket because I wasn’t wearing my seatbelt when I drove to the gas station I’m going to submit it at the end of the year as a tax write off because that’s all it is, a fucking donation.

What else is going on around here? I’m all signed up for some summer classes which will start on June 5th. I am taking two accounting classes and one Microsoft Excel class. I’m thinking that my summer will be pretty full and my life probably will be the next couple years while I work full time and try to get my degree. It should be pretty worth it though because at least I’ll have an education and job experience in the field and I can move up in the company or possibly even move on to another company. Of course that is way into the future and nothing I’m even thinking about right now. I think my job finally clicked over the last week or so because I’m about 90% on my own and I actually understand what I’m doing and why, much unlike the first two weeks there. That’s a good confidence booster to know that you’re doing the job and you can make it work without a lot of help. I like being independent in my job, especially considering I did it like that for the first 15 years of my working life. I need to work hard because my phone bill from March is huge. I was on the phone a lot because I was quitting my job and I was excited and talking to everyone. Well apparently I talked to EVERYONE because I went over my minutes by about 550. That’s 550 minutes which translates to a phone bill over $200. Yeah, it definitely sucks ass but I looked over the bill and I know I made all the calls so all I can do is pay the bill. I guess I’ll have no choice but to buckle up for sure now because I can’t afford a ticket with humongous phone bills like that.

First I’ll give you a little back story on this entry. I wrote this as a freshman in high school because in English class we were supposed to keep a journal and write something everyday. This isn’t a “people I want to kill” list or anything like the dumb little fuckers are doing these days in school. This was simply a list of things I hated, or at least wrote down that I hated so I could finish off another stupid journal entry. Oh, and Bo Jane & Toots were two dogs that we were stuck babysitting for about 8 months in case you’re wondering. Anyway, here it is, circa 1987 or 1988.

I am going to write down a whole list of things that I hate. Cigarettes, country music, tornadoes, school food, old cars (Studebakers especially), Bo Jane, Toots, pushy church people, door to door salesmen, nuclear missiles, boring study hall, F’s, mosquitoes, gnats, bumble bees, faith healers, crank calls, major diseases, drugs, big dogs, murderers and rapists. I hate when I break something and it’s a very valuable thing. I hate when someone makes fun of retarded people. I hate people who live off of welfare and don’t try to get a job and someone who needs money can’t have it. I hate when you get in trouble for something someone else did. I hate my gym teacher. I hate when you step in dog crap. I hate nosy people. I hate spinach. I hate my cat when he eats a whole bunch and then pukes it up. I hate plastic fruit. I hate finding hairs in my food. I hate when you puke and it goes through your nose. I hate going to a whole bunch of garage sales with my mom and grandma. I hate the stupid get-togethers on my birthday, Christmas and other major holidays.

Ahh, the wonderfulness of being a freshman in high school, you can almost feel the oncoming wedgie or swirlie. Of course since I was becoming a disgruntled human back then, you know that the hate list would have to continue, which it did towards the end of the year, at least at the end of writing journals. Enjoy.

This is my last entry for ninth grade I have to ever write. I think if Bo Jane comes back, I will kill her. I turned her mean, my job is accomplished. I have a few other things for my hate list. I hate Monday morning at first hour. I hate this study hall. I hate people that trip you in the hall. I hate pens that explode. I hate when you forget to get your homework done. I hate when I do bad on a test. I hate writing these stupid journals. I hate dogs named Spuds. I hate that seniors get out a week before me. I hate detention. I hate the school cafeteria. I hate having to come back to school after a nice long vacation. I hate people who get scared of movies like A Nightmare on Elm Street. I hate having to mow the lawn and bagging it all in one day. I hate the snow when it stays all the time. I have many more things that I hate. I can’t remember them right now, but the one thing that I like is this is my last stupid journal entry I have to write.

I’m a cash guy, I love the green stuff. That fact alone makes it a little hard for me to go from a cash lifestyle to a plastic one; but I’m making the transition slowly. I liked cashing my checks, getting my cash and filling my wallet up with fresh green money. Now in my new job I have to use direct deposit and I am attempting to make the adjustment from living in a cash world to living in the plastic world. I have my new check card I use and if I really need a cash fix I can always go to my banks ATM and withdraw some money and fill my wallet back up. To give you an idea of how long I’ve been a cash guy, the last time I used an ATM was before the dawn of the so called debit card. The last time I used the ATM, my card was called a TYME card and I went to the TYME machine to use it. My how times have changed.

I do have to admit that it was very nice using it at the gas pump the other day and not even having to walk into the gas station and get tempted by the 5 hour old hot dogs and the nasty triangular things that they claim is pizza or any of the other shit they want to sell me. Ha ha fuckers, who’s the sucker now? Oh shit, I guess I still am, since I just paid $3 a gallon to fill up my car. Damn, that gas is expensive nowadays. Aren’t we currently bombing the shit out of the Middle East? You would think that with all of that the prices would drop a little bit longer. I know, as soon as we let Bush bomb Iran, then the prices will plummet, kind of like his ratings. I think pretty soon his rating will be lower than the gas price. Of course I shouldn’t be bitching about the gas prices since I hadn’t filled up for three weeks now.

I’m now patiently waiting for the weather to improve around here so I can actually enjoy the outdoors and maybe fish and play golf. We were actually in the low 40’s this past weekend with rain and possibly a snowflake or two thrown in, although I will deny that claim because I hate the snow. At least with the weather so shitty I was able to do some major painting and furniture rearranging and I found a bunch of old shit I didn’t even know I had. I found my 9th grade journal from my English class and I might have to put that in a blog entry and let you see where my brain was back as a freshman in high school. The thing I’m probably going to put in here is something I had entitled: My Hate List. Just think, if I had wrote that today and I was in school, I probably would have been suspended and counseled and considered a threat to all my classmates. Nah, these days I would just do the cool thing and put my threats up on my Myspace page like all the other losers do. Not losers for putting threats on a Myspace page, but losers for having and religiously using a Myspace page.

So I’m browsing the internet looking for news of people that have much more misfortune than I do and I come across a wonderful story about a guy in Maryland that went into Wal Mart and took a shit and got stuck to the toilet. The story doesn’t say that he was shitting but I’m using all of my knowledge I have gained from watching programs like CSI to gather that he was since he was indeed sitting down… unless he pees like a girl. I am also using my knowledge to say he really had to shit bad because if on the rare occasion I actually use a public restroom the first thing I do before I sit my ass down is to look at what I’m sitting on. If there was glue on the toilet seat then wouldn’t you think it would have been visible? What kind of glue was this anyway? I would think that even if it wasn’t seen right away, as soon as your ass touched it you would have felt it and stood right back up thinking, whoa, what the hell is on my ass? I know I would have anyway. Nope, apparently this guy must have decided to read a paper or make a cell phone call because he became attached to the toilet seat… literally. Then he had to bang on the walls of the stall and hope someone would come to his aid. I’m glad I wasn’t there, what do you say in a situation like that? Dude, courtesy flush and spray some Lysol, I’ll come back and check on you in a half an hour. It also said that this happened on a Sunday night which means had he not been found that night he would have been out of luck until Tuesday because half of Wal Mart’s janitorial workforce was probably out marching in the streets trying not to get deported.

What the fuck was that about anyway? I didn’t pay too close attention to the news of this but what was the deal there, immigrants taking to the streets and not shopping or working because they want to show us how valuable they are? You know, for a long time at my old job I would have loved to take the day off and walk the streets to show them how valuable I was, but I didn’t, know why? Because I would have gotten fired!! Oh well, it would have beat being taken out of Wal Mart on a stretcher face down with a cloth over my ass conspicuously shaped like a toilet seat.