Author: David

I saw it. It is surely a sign of the apocalypse. I was flipping through the channels the other night around 10pm. On the Oxygen network there was this old lady on there, and she does a sex show. Now what I stumbled upon was her showing off various sex toys. To see this lady who is undoubtedly someone’s grandma flopping around a dildo talking about how it is one of her favorites… well let’s just say I think I went into some type of shock. I was completely frozen – unable to change the channel, but deeply disturbed at the same. I do believe I have found the antidote to Viagra.

Don’t you just love Mondays? I sure don’t. A little over two weeks until Thanksgiving. Wow. At least that means I get a four day week. I just can’t wait until Christmas is done, then at least work gets a little easier.

Set up Christmas today. Why is it that people can’t seem to grasp the reality that after Halloween comes Christmas? “Settin up Christmas already? What about Thanksgiving?” What in the hell can you do for Thanksgiving anyway? Should I be putting out big turkeys and shit? Thanksgiving is a food holiday, that’s what the stuffing and pie is for, not my stuff. So buy some bows and shut the fuck up already.

It’s election day. Did I vote? Hell No. Why? Let’s see, last time I voted, I waited up to see the results and for some reason because Florida was so stupid (and Jeb Bush was down there) I got to wait a couple weeks. I did not vote for George Bush, and was quite disappointed that he unfortunately stole, I mean won the election. I can’t really say that Al Gore was my hero, but a hell of a lot better than the junior fuck up that we elected, I’m sorry, that YOU elected, because I didn’t vote for that fuck. But I don’t want to get off on a tangent here, just mentioning that I didn’t waste my time voting. If I wanted to go out in public and put my hand to use, I’d go to the sperm bank and at least get paid for 15 minutes of jerking off.

Jay’s like King Midas as I was told
Everything that he touched turned to gold
He’s the greatest of the great, get it straight He’s great
Playing fame cause his name is known in every state
His name is Jay, To see him play will make you say
God damn that DJ made my day
Like the butcher the baker, the candlestick maker
He’s a maker a breaker, and a title taker
Like the little old lady who lived in a shoe
If cuts were kids he would beat you
Not lyin y’all he’s the best I know, and if I lie my nose will grow
Like a little wooden boy named Pinocchio, and you all know how the story go
JAM MASTER JAY 1965-2002

Hey… It’s my birthday. Let’s all celebrate.

Ok, now that we got that shit out of the way, lets move onto more pressing matters. Saw something real disturbing on television today that completely shocked, amazed and made me stand up and take notice. No… nothing to do with CNN or the sniper today, I saw a commercial for Cottenelle bathroom tissue.

The commercial was showing people’s asses, and mentioning something about how you know you’ve cleaned or something. This is the first time that I remember in my life that a toilet paper commercial actually referred to someone’s ass! Imagine that, on my birthday even. I feel so happy.

Now on to the whole sniper thing. Hey, they caught those fuckers on my birthday too. Exactly when do I get a present here anyway? Did you see the Police/FBI press conference tonight? Looked like a Grammy Acceptance speech to me. I was waiting for them to thank J-Lo or some shit. Only thing that bothers me is the stupid duck in the noose comment they wanted them to make. Is there another one out there somewhere? A third man possibly? Wait until everyone feels safe and strike again? Well, guess I should take my hypothetical ass over to CNN, could probably get a job there.

Wow, the media sounds kinda pissy that they are being used as communication tool between the police and the sniper. What’s the matter, afraid you might actually help someone? Everytime these news people interview someone, one of their questions is have you ever heard of the media being used as a communication tool such as this? Hey, if you don’t like it, shut the fuck up.

Second day off, not much new going on. At least its not snowing today, although it hasn’t all melted yet either.

Ventured out of the house today, didn’t do to much though, just a little shopping. I’m almost bored, but not quite yet.

Been getting my daily dose of CNN while I’m off. I guess I just don’t see why they give the sniper so much press. Do they not realize that’s exactly what psycho’s want? He shoots someone this morning and now CNN can’t shut the hell up about it. Isn’t that gratification of some sort?

Holy shit! Woke up this morning and there was about six inches of snow on the ground. What in the hell? I am on vacation this week and I wake up to a winter wonderland. I dispute the wonderland part myself.

What a wonderful week. I am off work this whole week! Can ya tell I am so happy not to be working this week? I am going to job hunt this week, and hopefully find a new job and get out of my old job completely, probably without notice. Oh well, fuck em.

Had some kind of sinus infection thing going on from Tuesday to Thursday, so I was hardly on here, didn’t do any page work on either site. I have been playing around a little bit, but have nothing online yet, and probably won’t until mid week sometime.

Bought the new Uncle Kracker CD No Stranger to Shame today, sounds pretty good so far.

What in the hell is wrong with the East Coast? Terrorists, snipers, anthrax, damn… does it never end?

Guess I will cross that off my list of places to go.

I am working on a new page, so I will probably be ignoring this one for awhile. I will try to blog when I can and whatnot, but won’t be adding any new pages for sometime. The new page is a 3rd Bass fanpage. Located here, check it out and see my progress.

Had a kid in today, well maybe in his late teens, ask me for some hydrocortisone cream because sometimes he gets “like burns” between his legs. Wow, ya know, right after that I need hydro part, I was fine. No explanation needed Bucky.

Got off early again today, mowed my lawn. From the time I got home til an hour or better after I was done, my neighbor mowed his lawn. Actually he had on the bagger and was mulching/sucking up his leaves to put in a bag. He did this repeatedly trying to get all the leaves out of his yard. Why are people so damn anal about leaves in their yards? It’s fucking October. I could see if it was July, but its fall, that’s what the leaves do this time of year. Do you not think there will be more there tomorrow? There will be. Lots of them. In fact, I will purposely go outside and shake my trees tonight in hopes some of the leaves fly into his yard!