Normally on a Monday I should be bitching about going back to work and whatnot, but unfortunately I haven’t been away enough from there yet. I am luckily off Wednesday so that will be nice after a long week.
So I’m at work today putting up the hats, gloves and mittens display because that’s what you do in Wisconsin around this time. It’s a fact that it gets cold out around now. So of course while I’m putting them up I get a few different customers walking by me going… oh no, he’s putting out the winter gloves and hats, now it’s going to get cold. Yep, you figured it all out. Tonight you’ll be watching the weather and the meteoroligist is going to say “well, expect an extreme dip in temperatures in the next few days, but it’s not due to this cold front barreling down from Canada, no… it’s because that Dave guy put out his hats and gloves at the store today.” As much power as I’d love to claim I have, controlling the weather isn’t one that I have. Believe me, if I did it sure the fuck would never snow in Wisconsin; at least my town.
Another thing that bugs me about going from summer into fall is these people that think they must go outside and cover up their stupid fucking precious plants. What are you doing? If they are going to be staying outside all winter then maybe you should just look at this as practice or something. Otherwise they will never be prepared for the sub zero temps that are coming in the next couple months. If it’s a plant that you bring inside during the winter, then bring that bastard inside now and quit leaving it outside with only a sheet covering it… you cruel heartless bastard. Wait until PETPF gets a hold of you.
That’s right, People for the Ethical Treatment of Plants and Flowers. I’m starting a new group because animals don’t deserve to be in the spotlight all the time. Guess what, you salad eating vegetarian mother fuckers, you’re our first target. When we’re finished nobody will be eating plants and you won’t be trimming them or any of that shit. If you’re that hungry then go kill some stupid animal and leave the poor plants alone. Anyway, back to the topic. Why the hell do people go outside and cover their plants up when a few weeks from now they’ll just say fuck it and let them freeze to death? I guess I don’t see the point. It’s like keeping someone on life support and then going, oh well fuck em, I’ve done enough… pull the plug. Guess that’s why I’m not one of these plant people. As far as I’m concerned plants only serve one purpose and that’s to provide my ass with some damn oxygen. The plant needs the carbon dioxide I exhale to live and I need the oxygen it emits to breathe so therefore the plants can stay… but quit fucking decorating with the goddamn things!