Happy, screw you too, New Year

It’s here. The inevitable end of another year. Where the fuck did it go? Cue up the music, it’s time to have an entourage of shit from the years past. Yeah, fuck that shit. I don’t get into all of this. My attention span is way too short to remember what happened last January, hell I’ve already forgotten what I got for Christmas.

What other lame ass traditions are there for New Years? Oh yes, the resolutions. Ok, I will make some New Years Resolutions here that I’m sure I will break in roughly 12 hours or so.

I will stop downloading MP3’s.
I will stop downloading porn.
I will add a ton of new content to this page in the next few weeks.
I will stop eating crackers in bed.
I will pick that piece of dirt up off the floor.
I will get my oil changed before the smoke starts pouring out again.
I will win the Lottery.
I will get my car paid off in the next three months.
I will stop smoking… wait, I don’t smoke… mission accomplished.
I will go to great lengths to bring peace to the Earth, well if it will get me laid anyway.
I will travel the country and see all new people that can piss me off.

Well, that’s about all I can think about at the moment, but what does it matter. Much like rules, resolutions were meant to be broken. Drink up, be stupid and party like it’s 1999 (you know, before that asshole was in the White House).