I just got home from the store where I picked up my “Best of Triumph” DVD. That’s right, no more watching shitty 1/8 screen shots of Triumph on my computer, now I can see him on my television like was intended. It’s about time they put this out there, we’ve been waiting for a hell of a long time. I think the TV on DVD craze has finally hit, and hit big. I’ve seen DVD’s out there of shows I forgot existed. Honestly though, aside from South Park and Family Guy, I can’t really think of any show I liked that much that I would just have to own. I mean, I liked Knight Rider when I was younger, but I don’t feel the need to own the show on DVD. Obviously, this shit is selling rather well, or studios wouldn’t be putting that much money into bringing these to retail. I think it is the final nail in the coffin of VHS.

Oh well, look at the bright side. I’m off work for nine days now. I have no real plans and I doubt if I am going anywhere, just going to lounge around home and maybe do some shit that I’ve been neglecting lately. You know, play with the kids, pay some attention to the wife. Oh wait, that’s right, I’m not married, and I don’t have any kids. Well, I guess I’ll be watching porn and getting drunk. There’s a postcard for you.

Ok, by now everyone’s probably seen it on the news. Some kids steal this little punk bastard’s X-Box, he gets pissed off and then he convinces three others to help him kill the ones who stole it. It’s a horrible crime and hopefully the dumb asshole that did this will serve some serious time. My problem with this is that everyone is throwing this news story around with so much emphasis on the X-Box. The game console is nothing in this story. This guy was obviously pretty fucked up in the head already and therefore no matter what they took, or he thinks they took is no matter at this point. The fact is that he killed or had someone kill six people. The six people apparently took some of his clothes, but you don’t see the headlines “Fruit of the Loom murders”. Nope, that’s because the X-Box is a bigger deal and this will stir some more video game debates up. I’m sure the fuckers at FOX and CNN are already assembling their crack team of video game experts to discuss this situation in detail. What a bunch of shit.

Do you know what our high temperature was today? 52; it’s fucking August according to my cheap ass Wal Mart desk calendar with the stains all over it. If it’s really August then why the fuck does it feel like early March or late October? You know what it is? It’s a conspiracy to make us buy sweaters. Those bastards at the GAP are overstocked on product from last year and now they are making it cold out; knowing we are too lazy to dig our own stuff out and we will come down like robots and buy their shit. Ok, I’ve been watching too many detective shows while drinking heavily and I’m a little numb to reality.

Speaking of being numb, I got a new product in; new Trojan Extended Pleasure condoms. They have 4% benzocane in them. In case you think you have heard of benzocane but aren’t sure where, just pick up your bottle of Ambesol or Orajel. That has 10%, but it’s the same ingredient. Apparently the theory here is that if your dick gets numb then you will go longer. This was obviously invented by a woman because no man has that kind of time on his hands. If a man is that sensitive this probably won’t help him anyway because he’ll probably blow it while he’s putting the condom on and then he won’t even feel it. On the plus side you could go around selling yourself as a remedy for toothaches.

So I’m sitting here last night watching TV because there were nasty ass thunderstorms moving through and I decided that I didn’t want to be on the computer when it was storming. How the fuck I figure that I’m so much more protected watching TV instead of being on the computer I don’t know. Let’s see, a 17″ monitor blowing up in my face vs. a 36″ TV blowing up in my face. Hmmm, which one would be safer for me? Actually if it starts lightning extremely bad I usually turn the TV off. I do have a pretty good Belkin surge protector on my TV as well as my computer, so I don’t worry too much about it.

As I was sitting there watching the storms blow around us, I decided to eat a few raisins. That got me thinking. Who the fuck invented this shit? I know that raisins are dehydrated grapes, but how did they figure this out? Did some lazy bastard living in Arizona accidentally leave his grapes out in the sun one day and then when he went to check on them they had all shriveled up on him? Well once that happened he was screwed because you know his wife was going to kick his ass for that. So what else is he going to do but try and pass this shriveled grape off as food? That’s how we got prunes too. I guess you can just let your food rot and then pass it off as a new food. Too bad it doesn’t work too well with a pork chop.

Well, I’ve got 2/3’s of my painting done now. Of course since I have to go to work and stupid shit like that, I haven’t been able to finish yet. Tomorrow however is when I will end up disconnecting the computer and disassembling the computer desk and I will paint the 3rd wall. Then it will be fun time. Luckily the paint doesn’t really have much of a smell to it, so although I’m probably still inhaling harmful fumes, I don’t seem to notice. As if anyone really gives a shit, maybe I’ll post a before/after picture when it’s all done.

Hey, Cartman is winning in the polls, much like I had predicted. My site is losing a lot of hits since the link on the front of Southparkstudios is now in the archives. I will have to go there and re-iterate my site once again. Oh well, in any fashion, Cartman is kicking some major ass, and that end result is what I wanted in the first place.

My bandwidth almost hit 4GB last month when I was worried about breaking my limits. Well, I don’t have to worry any more. I just received an email yesterday from my service provider that they are upgrading all of their service packages and they are including their current customers. They are doubling my storage space and my bandwidth. That means I now have 400MB of space (of which I’m using right around 40MB) and I get 8GB of bandwidth. What does this mean? It means it’s a fucking kick ass upgrade for free. Another cool thing I found out from my service provider is I can block people from stealing my images and putting them on their sites with a link. So called leeching of images is common practice, especially on news boards across the web. This item I found on my control panel for my site lets me block any file type I want to stop people from linking to. This way if someone puts a link up to connect straight to a picture off my site, all they get is the little empty box with the red X in it. Ha ha, take that fuckers.

August has arrived. It came in with some nasty heat and humidity and then that shit only lasted two days. Now on the 3rd we are getting cooler again. In fact we are looking at lows only in the 40’s by Friday. That’s good sleeping weather, although since I work this weekend sleep isn’t really a fucking option is it?

You know, today is the first day to go vote for Cartman. I strongly suggest that everyone reading this goes to the site and votes for Cartman now!! The past few days my site has been going down in hits, under 20,000 a day for a few days. Yesterday though it hit over 30,000; so back in business I guess.

Tomorrow is my day off and I am going to be doing some painting. Only problem is that I fucking hate painting. The concept is cool, that I can take this and make it a different color and it will look so much better. It’s just the fact that it sucks to stand there with this stupid ass brush and paint the damn wall. Day off my ass, I would be better off working, at least I could slack off there.

Whoa, August is tomorrow already? When did that bullshit happen? I swear I was just blowing off fireworks last night. Oh that’s right I was, then the cops came, we had our little talk and a few hours and a couple hundred bucks later I was back home. But that’s not the point, the point is that this year is going by way too fast. Apparently you spend your whole life growing up wanting to be older, then you hit that magical 30 and you’ve gained so much momentum that now it keeps moving so fast and it seems like you are going to be in adult diapers in no time. I’ve already seen the boss that’s been at my job since I started leave this year, my friends might be splitting up, my job sucks more and more and a lot of other things this year that I’m not too fond of. Being 30 sucks ass. Oh, and by the way, that part about the fireworks and the cops. I made that shit up to keep you fuckers reading.

Well, there is one good thing about July ending. My bandwidth gets reset soon. At my last check I was right around the 3.85GB range, meaning one too many asshole AOL’ers could fuck up my site and push me over the limit. Fortunately I am less than an hour and a half away from August 1st meaning it will reset very soon.

Speaking of only being an hour and a half away from August 1st I have a question. Why don’t people celebrate that shit? Everyone gets all excited when you change the calendar from December to January so why not when we change from July to August; or any month for that matter? I know in December you get to pick a brand new calendar and all, you can shed your Hello Kitty image and go for the much more rough and tough Garfield calendar, but come on… the month is changing, that deserves some sort of celebration. Wait, I just turned on my police scanner, and it sounds like some people are celebrating the new month. Good for them, nothing makes celebrating a new month worth it like waking up in the detox clinic with your front teeth busted out.

No, not the stupid shitty clothes place in your lame ass mall in your lame ass town. I’m not talking about that gap between your teeth either. I’m talking about the gap between how much bandwidth I’m allowed per month and how much I’ve used thus far. I get 4GB and I’m at 3.5GB. At this moment I see no need to purchase extra considering that it should be reset again in three days and I guess although I’m hoping that nothing goes down, that if it does it won’t be the biggest problem in the world considering it would only be a day or two of down time. My only question is why the hell does July have to have 31 days in it? Damn you calendar people.

As long as we are damning people, I’ve got a few more people to damn. What kind of people would need to be damned you ask? Well, mostly the breathing variety, but to be more specific…. customers. Yes, they suck and they always will. We are running this lame ass 10/$10 sale this week. Lame as hell, don’t even tell me because I already know. The stupid thing is how many dumb asses have to ask how much one of them costs. Hmmm, well let me see, take 10 divided into 10, carry the 5, change the negative into a positive, round off to the next higher number and you have um… $1. Fuckin’ duh. Yes, life is grand in retail.

Yep, another weekend that I’m working during. This is getting old really fast. I really don’t mind working on the weekends as long as I still get my days off during the week, but it’s just the fact that I work from 6:45 until 12 that pisses me off. It’s a short day and it totally fucks the rest of the day. Can’t go anywhere because it’s too late by the time I get done so any plans are out the window. At least if I worked until 3 or 4 then I would have already accepted that my day was shot and be done with it. However I get home and have almost eight hours of sunlight left but can’t do anything with. Why you may ask? Well, because I have to get up at 5am again tomorrow and do the same bullshit over again. I think I need a Powerball fix really soon.

I think my Cartman site has peaked finally. I am still getting hits on the website, in fact I currently have over 500,000 hits total. Although I loved having that many hits (some days 70,000 a piece) I am kind of glad it is winding down. The whole bandwidth thing was starting to get worrisome. I get 4GB a month to play with and I am very close to 3GB used right now. If I can have the lower hits until August 1st then I will be totally cool and not have to buy extra. There is only a week to go so I’m hoping that it will stay on the low side until then. During August I might have to re-iterate that the site exists and that the fuckers should start voting. The elections start on August 3rd so I will have to keep the shit on the front burner until the election is over. Then I get to make the Cartman victory page because come on, the fat little fucker is going to win.

OK, who turned on the fucking humidity? It’s not nice at all out there and I had to break down and install the damn air conditioners last night. When it is almost 80 degrees out at 10pm and the humidity is almost 100% then you know it’s going to be a bitch of a day. You know, the kind of day when you stick to everything? Once you put your arm down it’s not coming back up without some peeling off of your body. But now I’m in my house with the A/C running and I’m enjoying it very much. There is nothing better than that when it gets this shitty out. According to the people that predict this weather stuff, they say it is supposed to cool off tomorrow. So, when I go back to work tomorrow it is going to be much nicer out. You fuckers better be right.

I bought the Complete 4th Season of South Park last night. I haven’t watched any of it yet, but I might check it out during the day today since going outside probably isn’t an option.

Yeah, I guess it was a three day weekend, although I don’t think it seemed very long. Of course on Friday I was out and about most of the day so the day flew by. Saturday I was out of the house before 5:30 in the morning heading to my friends house, then we left there around 7 am and headed to Noah’s Ark. We left there at almost 5pm and I think I got back to my house somewhere around 8 Saturday night. Sunday ended up being one of those lazy days around the house things. I didn’t do anything too exciting except go to the store and buy a new sparkplug and oil for the lawnmower. Did I install that stuff though? Oh hell no, that’s what my day off on Wednesday is for. There is no reason to do too much on a weekend is there?

Speaking of Noah’s Ark, I didn’t do anything too extravagant there. I’m not one for high flying adventures so I did the less suicidal slides. I like the rides where you can ride with more than one person because I guess if you crash and burn you can at least hope one of you can swim.

My Cartman site is currently over 300,000 hits and is only a week old. That’s way better than anything I’ve done before.

Holy hell. I had no idea that making an Eric Cartman for Class President site would generate this much interest. The statistics finally came back from my provider and I have to say it is quite amazing how far a little promotion will go. My own site (disgruntledhuman.com) has a total of 80,729 hits on the site. Now, you have to realize that the site has been up since March of this year. There is a total of five months time for me to get those 80,729 hits. My Cartman site has been up since Monday, July 12. The Cartman site has 93,402 hits on it. In one business weeks time I have gotten more hits on my site than my main site has gotten since it’s creation five months ago. It’s mind boggling. I do like the Cartman site and even after the E-lections are over and done with, I will probably leave it up. Besides, there is a shitload of signatures in the guestbook and I would hate to get rid of all of those. Perhaps when this is done and Cartman wins the election I will then go after the White House.

Tomorrow I am going to Noah’s Ark again in the Dells. Although my last visit there was plagued by injury, I am going to try again. I will try and be careful this time and yes I will wear my sunscreen because I’m not particularly fond of my head peeling. I think it is actually going to be nice out weather wise as well, so that should be cool… well, actually warm.

And hey, just to rub it in to everyone. I’m enjoying a three day weekend. For anyone out there that is working I have a piece of advice. Actually I don’t have any advice, I just wanted to get your attention so I could say “haha suckers.”

Cartman in 2004!!

This won’t take too long because my ass is extremely tired and I want to go to bed. I am going for my 15 minutes of fame for websites. Unfortunately it isn’t my personal site or ever my 3rd Bass sites, but instead a site for Eric Cartman. Of course it would have to be for Cartman.

Anyway, assuming my site doesn’t crash and burn because of all the bandwith that is going to the Cartman side it should be pretty fucking sweet.

MY CARTMAN SITE