Author: David

I did a little more setting up of Christmas at work today. This time it was toys. It seems that this week was a pain in the ass as you would know if you read my bitch fest from Tuesday. A couple things have happened since the last time I was here that I must address.

The condom in the clam chowder story. I’m glad I’m on the Atkins diet and don’t have to worry about all this shit. First that lady found a tooth in the chicken noodle soup and now this lady finds a condom in her clam chowder. You don’t have that problem with a fucking steak. Hey, maybe it wasn’t really clam chowder after all. What if it was just a big pot of jizz? I don’t know how emotionally unstable the lady that found this is, but it said she spent the next 15 minutes in a restroom, vomiting, and has since seen a psychiatrist and taken medication for depression and anxiety. OK, I can see the vomiting part, but how fucked up are you that you suffer depression and anxiety from this? What’s so depressing, has she not been laid in so long that it was a subtle slap in the face? She takes drugs now to cope, and when she goes to her local Walgreen’s to get her prescription she has to stand next to the condom section to pick it up… now that’s funny.

What the fuck is up with this Hepatitis breakout in Pittsburgh? 500 people that ate at a Chi-Chi’s are sick, and three have died already? It said they ate there back in October, which is shocking to me, because I have a hard enough time remembering what I ate last week, let along where, and a month ago, forget it. They seem to think the source of this outbreak is from scallions, which also infected about 280 people in Georgia back in September. What the fuck is up with the scallions? How did a scallion get Hepatitis anyway, did it come from Pamela Anderson’s garden? Getting a serious disease from eating out kind of defeats the purpose of going out. Fuck, I’d rather find a condom in my soup.

I made it through Monday after my three day weekend. Monday is usually a bitch, but this time it seemed to be OK… You know, I’ve been writing all this time and haven’t been complaining about anything yet. I think it’s time to start bitching.

Walked into work today and realized that my 24′ of toys were going to be condensed down to 8’…TODAY! I was so glad that nobody let me know this shit in advance because it made my fucking day. That of course means that the shit that I wanted to do didn’t get done, and now tomorrow my early day is fucked as well. The check will be bigger at the end of the week, but I’m in bitch mode so there will be no positive twists on this bullshit. We have a shipper of puzzles coming in and all that the people that ordered them can tell us is that we are going to get 6 free decks of cards with our shipper, and that’s 100% profit. Well big fucking deal, I’m going to make $18 extra, that is if I sell the fucking things. This is just a sampling of the stupidity my company shows every day. I can’t go into detail of their total stupidity because I don’t have that kind of time on my hands.

As long as we’re on the subject of stupidity, there was a lady that came into the store today and wired $10,000 to Canada to some Evangelical bullshit. What in the fuck is that about? What the hell am I doing wasting away in retail when I could be scamming stupid people out of their money? I can think of several things to do with that kind of money, and I don’t think it would have anything to do with religion, although they wouldn’t have to know that. I really can’t figure out why some people are so fucking stupid to believe bullshit stories like that and send money to such obvious scams. Let’s clear up one thing right now. Jesus does not need your money – period. Religion is supposed to be free, but it is ran by man, and like everything else ran by man, it’s corrupt, so let me repeat. Jesus DOES NOT need your MONEY!!!!!!!!!!! End of story.

I saw it last night. I watched Matrix Revolutions. I liked it and am looking forward to the trilogy being released on DVD because I can guarantee that I will buy it. All I’ve heard about the movie is bitching so far. Quit bitching, that’s my job. Like I said I liked it, and for the most part I got it. I wouldn’t say what I wanted to happen in the movie happened, but its not like I got pissed about it or anything. I will admit that at the end of the movie I had some thoughts in my head that I still am wondering about today. The Matrix is a huge franchise, almost like my generations Star Trek – pop culture wise. This puts Keanu Reeves in a pretty high position, which got me to thinking about something. I wonder how Alex Winter feels about all this. Do you know who Alex is? Way back in the old days there was a movie called Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. It was an OK movie which had these two kids going back in time in a phone booth. They were Bill (Alex Winter) and Ted (Keanu Reeves). Now as you know, Keanu’s career has gone this far, hell he’s Neo in The Matrix Trilogy. Alex on the other hand has disappeared, perhaps working the drive up window at Arby’s talking to the Oven Mitt wondering why it doesn’t talk back like in the commercials. I’ve always wondered what happens to these people, wondering if Alex watches the Matrix and whenever Keanu does something cool if he goes “Excellent Ted” and does that air guitar motion, then cry himself to sleep. These are the kind of things I think about when I’m taking a shit and the light bulb in the bathroom burns out.

On a more positive note, I did finish my 3rd Bass page Friday. I went to Eau Claire Friday afternoon and visited some friends and saw the new Matrix as I’m sure you’ve figured out if you made it this far. Tonight I’m just lounging and thinking about getting some much needed sleep for my next task. Fishing. The wonder pond has roughly an inch of ice on it and I need to break that sun of a bitch open tomorrow and retrieve the living fish. I can’t wait for that shit.

Hey, guess what tomorrow is? It’s Friday for me. I get a three day weekend coming up because I had to waste away my Sunday all day. I guess it all works out in the end. Monday was a pretty good day, at least the first half. Yesterday I had some lady looking for regular Pringles, and when I showed them too her, there was a Lords of the Ring contest on them. I gave her the can and told her they were the original flavor, then as she’s walking away she goes, I hope your right. Well what in the fuck else would they be? They say Original right on the damn can don’t they? What the hell was she thinking, that she’d get them home and they’d be Lord of the Rings flavored? Some people just piss you off.

Yesterday was another fun day, I got to set up Christmas at work Tuesday. Considering that I don’t have all of my stuff in yet, I set up about half of it so far. The remaining stuff should end up coming in tomorrow, although it will sit there until Monday because I won’t have time to fuck with it tomorrow.

The Matrix Revolutions opened today and I can’t wait to see it. I’ve heard mixed reviews so far, but reviews are opinions, and opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. If anyone knows that, I should. I will be going to the theater soon hopefully to watch it and I’m sure I’ll either bitch about it or praise it. I’m still working on my 3rd Bass pages, which explains the lack of attention I’ve been paying to this site. With my Friday off, I’m hoping to finish it up and get it all uploaded.

It sure feels like Monday today. Why do you ask? Because I had to work today. If you’re in retail like me, today was the dreaded “I” word. Inventory. I was at work from 7 this morning until 4pm. I didn’t take a lunch today either, so that means I have 9 hours in already this week. I only need to work 31 more hours this week to hit my 40. It wasn’t as bad as it probably could have been, but it was still a weekend killer. That brings me to my compensation. I now need to take a day off of work. Let’s see. I can’t take Monday or Thursday off because I have loads on those days, Tuesday and some of Wednesday I will be setting up Christmas. I guess that only leaves one day doesn’t it? Yep, you know it, I’m going to take off Friday this week and enjoy a three day weekend. Why? Why the fuck not?

I was watching TV tonight and saw a commercial for 10-10-987 or some shit. I noticed that the guy pitching it is the guy from Full House. Now granted that really isn’t a big step down going from that shitty show to pitching some shitty telephone service, but come on. The Olsen Twins are some big ass (although half assed) actresses worth a lot and poor Uncle Jesse is stuck pitching cheap phone service to Middle America. The Olsen Twins have their own cartoon. Where is Uncle Jesse’s cartoon, his movies, his millions? I don’t believe I’ve seen the Uncle Jesse action figure selling in the stores yet either. The poor man is on the level of Carrot Top pitching phone services. Actually I think in terms of popularity he is a few notches lower than the Carrot. Oh wait, I almost forgot. He gets to fuck Rebecca Romijn-Stamos whenever he wants to. I’m going to go call someone using 10-10-987 now…

Today is the one year anniversary of the murder of Jam Master Jay from Run-DMC. I’m not too good with memorials and what not, but I do know that without Run-DMC, a lot of my life would be different. I would have never gotten so much into rap if it hadn’t been for them. That means that although I didn’t know Jay at all, he was influential in my life. The best way to sum it up is to send you to a Run DMC site that has become more of a memorial in the last year.

OK, now lets move on to something else. Have you noticed that since Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected to be the governor, the state of California is beginning to look more and more like a scene from one of his Terminator movies. You know, I think he’s behind all this. Maybe these fires are all set up and now he is going to run in there after he’s sworn in and take care of all this fire shit. Then he can get on TV and tell everyone that he terminated the wildfires.

Speaking of freaky shit going on in the news, what the hell is the deal with these solar flares? This is from an article I found on Yahoo news today: Kohl, the lead investigator for an instrument aboard NASA’s sun-watching SOHO spacecraft, said the probability of two huge flares aimed directly at Earth coming so close together, as they have this week, was “unprecedented … so low that it is a statistical anomaly.” OK, when the NASA people start getting freaked out, it’s time to move underground. Pack up the kids and dig a hole. They claim that the flares won’t affect humans at all. Apparently you’ve never seen a room full of people that can’t get service on their Cell Phone. It fucks them up, and I don’t want to be in that room.

The big dreaded 3-0. Does it matter? Not really. I highly doubt that I will wake up tomorrow with arthritis in all my joints. I guess some would say that this is a milestone in my life, hitting 30. Maybe I will wake up tomorrow with a new sense of the world, actually I think I have that already. Here’s a few things I’ve learned in my 30 years here.

1. Time flies regardless if you are having fun or not.
2. You do miss school.
3. The excitement you have about getting your license and driving, then being old enough to go to a bar…thats about as exciting as it gets.
4. Work sucks ass.
5. 62% of people are assholes.
6. You are the only person that can change your life.
7. Nothing in life is free.
8. Everyone thinks you need to be something to be someone; just be yourself.
9. Keeping track of your daily life on the Internet is kind of cool… you can look back and see what the hell you were doing, because your mind isn’t as sharp as it used to be.
10. The older you get, the earlier you go to bed and get up… and naps are a Godsend.
11. The level of presents you get drops off significantly after you get past 16.
12. Your values change dramatically the older you get.
13. You are now the one bitching at the little punks driving around in their cars with their loud rap music playing.
14. Life is like a box of chocolates; sometimes sweet, but most likely will give you the shits.

I’m sure I’ve learned more, but I can’t remember any right now.

It’s a wonderful Monday of going back to work. It actually wasn’t quite as bad as I had thought it would wind up being. I guess it isn’t that hard to get back into the grind after relaxing for a week or so.
About 5 tonight we got our first snow fall of the year. I don’t think it will be sticking to the ground too much, but just the fact that it’s snowing pisses me off. In case you didn’t really figure this out, I fucking hate the winter. Every bit of it, the cold, the snow, the shoveling, the having to dress in layers, all that bullshit. Plain and simply hate it. I could move to California maybe, instead of snow, they just have shit burning down to the ground. Those must be some nasty ass fires out there. Hey, at least its not snowing you fuckers.

I saw Windows are preparing to unleash a new operating system on the world. The codename is Longhorn, although that probably won’t be the final name. I am actually pleased with XP, although I can’t really say the same for any of the old OS they put out. 95 & 98 were somewhat ok, but ME totally sucked ass and crashed constantly for me. I think this time I won’t waste my money on a new system until it proves itself. I have been Microsoft’s little bitch in the past always buying their new systems as soon as they come out, but I think I will kick back and see how they fare before dropping any cash on them.

It’s my first official day being 30. Luckily nothing too bad happened to me now that I’m old. I went to the casino tonight and got my lame ass $5 of free quarters. I of course came out with the same thing I always do when I go to the casino. Dirty hands and empty pockets. I guess it wasn’t my lucky night. I was hoping to win the Powerball so I could quit my job and retire at 30. No such luck.

I’ve been thinking about a lot of things that have changed since I was a child. As I look around I see many things that have changed. TV is a big one. I remember we used to get 2 channels, and one of them was PBS. We had a big ass antenna and a dial on top of the TV. The TV was nothing small either. It was a floor console and it had dials on it. Dials that you had to get up off your ass and change the channels. Pac Man was the hottest game you could play. There were so many things that were different back then, I guess I could probably write a book or something. Yeah, write a book and make some money. I could make 10 million dollars.

Is it Monday or is it Friday? I know I worked today, but I don’t tomorrow. Now I’m confused. Oh wait, that’s right, I took the rest of the week off. The weather might actually cooperate with me while I’m off this year. Last year I took off my birthday week and it fucking snowed. That’s right, it fucking snowed. I think we got somewhere in the neighborhood of 8″ of snow last year. The hell with last year, this year we are going to be in the 60’s at least. I can deal with that. I might even hit the driving range for old times sake.

I see John Allen Muhammad; the sniper suspect has decided to defend himself. Why do they even have trials for shit like this? They found the gun in the car, they were linked to so many different places where these shootings took place, and now he is going to defend himself. Let’s see, the shootings stopped after they were arrested? They found the gun that matches the bullets in their car? I don’t even see a reason for the trial, except to waste even more taxpayer money and for some entertainment value. Just think, last year I was watching this shit unfold live on television, and this year I can watch the dumb bastard defend himself on live TV. Much like the movies of the summer, it’s another worthless sequel.

Hey… they are done. That’s right, spent most of the day cleaning up leaves. I still think it is stupid. I think a chainsaw would solve the problem and make fall next year much smoother. We raked and mulched and managed to get about twenty 40 gallon bags filled up. What a waste of time. I started the lovely task around 10 this morning and it wasn’t finished until 2 or so. I guess that wasn’t the entire day, but it took long enough to fuck it up. After the whole ordeal and looking at this computer screen so much in the last few days, I think I’m going to just take it easy and relax tonight. I might even just kick back and watch a movie.

As I briefly mentioned on the Thursday, I redid the page. I think I’m finally happy with it. I finished it up this morning before my leaf cleaning experience. I decided to go ahead and put frames on it. It is a very basic design, but was a new experience for me. I had toyed around with frames before, but didn’t really know exactly the best way to work with them. As of now, there isn’t much more I plan on doing with the page, I’m somewhat happy with the layout and design, so I might layoff it for a while. I might play around with the 3rd Bass page a little.

I am so glad tomorrow is Friday. This has been a long week for some reason. I think it is just because I am taking off most of next week and I’m anxious to not work. I wonder what I am going to watch on TV when I’m off. Last year I took my birthday week off and I got to watch round the clock coverage of the sniper from DC. I think I will end up working almost a whole day tomorrow too. At least I will be off the weekend, and then I will go back Monday for a day and have the rest of the week off. I can handle that.

I see that Caterpillar company is suing Disney trying to stop the movie George of the Jungle 2 from coming out. Why you might ask? Because they feel it depicts Caterpillar in a negative way in the movie for children. Let me ask you this, what in the fuck does a kid care how a company is depicted anyway? Will little Johnny not grow up to work in construction now? Apparently the plot (I use that word lightly) of the movie is a developer is going to tear down the rainforest and George has to save it. Of course they are using Caterpillar dozers and stuff to do this, because let’s face it, a Buick won’t cut it when you are tearing down trees. So all this leads us to a lawsuit for some reason. I am so sick of everyone being so sue happy these days. What is going to be next, will Mc Donalds sue someone because a fat person ate their food in a movie and it’s projecting a negative image of their product? Luckily for Caterpillar anyone who actually watches George of the Jungle 2 is probably not mentally capable of using their machinery anyway.
Oh yeah, I changed the page again.